The Diva, the Dray, and the Divebomber
By Shrinky Frod

Reviewed by Rinnaul

Wow, I haven’t done a review in over a month.

I just haven’t really been up for reading much ponyfic for some reason. I’ve got over 80 unread chapters of updates now, and over 700 RIL items (I know a lot of people have more, but I used to keep those numbers pretty low). I just open up a fic to read, and then go “meh… not in the mood, after all”. Even when it’s an author I always like, such as Shrinky here. Dunno why.

Anyway, on with the RariJackDash romance thingy.

Or, nevermind on that RJD romance thing.

Or maybe not.

See, when I read the first bit of the Long Description, I thought it was RariJackDash romance, likely with a bit of light BDSM. Then I read more of it and thought it was an anthology thing. And then I read more of it and it looks like it covers a bunch of different pairings but has an ongoing plot and RJD is at the center of it.

Shrinky Frod what are you doing?

We begin with Rarity tying AJ and Dash up and playing some sort of erotic dress-up with them, which I honestly don’t get. I mean, I understand power play and bondage, for my kinks are many and varied, but being turned on by clothes being put onto someone else is a bit beyond me. Though as the scene progresses, I’m getting the impression it’s actually something more akin to a submission game—each is turned on by the other being dominated, and are attempting to be ever more supplicant towards Rarity in an effort to make the other climax first.

Though I understand this more than the idea of erotic dress in and of itself, the whole scene remains a bit confusing to me. Not merely the fetish material, but the characters’ emotions and reactions. I couldn’t really connect to anyone, even AJ, who I usually consider myself rather similar to.

I’m following chapter two much more easily, though again, AJ’s actual thought process is a mystery to me. However, I imagine that was intentional, and the author wants the reader curious. The reveal is an explanation of just how much (and what) the hat means to AJ. The whole thing references some eroticism, but it cuts off a bit abruptly (I think these were all prompts done on a time limit) before much comes of it.

We’re interrupted by a chapter of Fluttercord dominance clop, and despite not liking that particular ship, I think I may have enjoyed this chapter the most thus far. At the very least, I don’t think I’ve seen this particular take on Discord’s anatomy before—and a quick Derpibooru check seems to confirm this.

Back to the hat plot from chapter 2, the scene is brief and pure clop, involving magically enhanced toys. Once again, more enjoyable than the first two, but not really anything spectacular.

Chapter five is just an extended Author’s Note declaring that the planned chapter has been pulled to become its own story, the already-reviewed “Opportunity In This Community”. Poor form at this point, but this was likely done before the rule against it went into place.

Chapter Six is Pinkie+Cakes, though only Carrot appears. Cup’s involvement and the polyamorous nature of the relationship are more or less stated, however. Though the sex is straightforward and brief, it’s some of the best we’ve had thus far. I suppose this is because there are no fetishes or gimmicks to distract from it, so we get more focus on the emotions involved—from the characters (particularly an absolutely wonderful Pinkie), to the buildup, to the act itself. There was just a sense of love and comfort here that the other chapters have lacked so far. This is where I upvoted the story.

On chapter seven, is it weird that half of my thoughts reading there were “I’ve read better erotic asphyxiation ponyfic before”? I’d share if I could remember the title, but alas, all I recall is that it involved AJ getting herself off and Macintosh listening in on her in the next room. Here, I’m actually a bit disappointed at the conclusion. Rarity’s panic was a bit too gentle and wrapped up a bit too quickly, which meant we couldn’t get as much as we might have out of Dash comforting her. I just regret this missed opportunity for romantic feels. Though Chuckfinley makes a good point in the comments—an excellent example of safewords and their importance for all involved parties.

And suddenly, Chapter Eight is massive. I’m guessing Shrinky wasn’t doing an hour prompt for this one. The sex was as vanilla and straightforward here as it was in the Pinkie chapter, but I couldn’t help but be distracted by the nature of Fluttershy’s partner. I mean, props for Discord doing an all-around good deed in an in-character and chaotic manner, but this was just kinda weird. Like on the creepy side of crack shipping.

Chapter nine had… a Michigan J. Frog reference? Okay, Shrinky. As has happened several times in this collection, the sex was brief and had no real impact for me. Maybe the comedy distracted me from it, or the argument, or just how weird the setup was, or how they kept talking during it… I’m not sure. One way or another, I just never connected here.

And we finish with another Pinkie+Cakes again, and once again, this is some of the best stuff in the entire collection. The emotions surrounding the sexuality just come through so much more strongly with these three than they do in the other chapters, and thanks to that, I become much more invested in the characters, and thus, the story.

While this is by no means a bad fic, it does have its flaws.

Scenes featuring Applejack suffered from some of the heaviest use of Apple Accent I’ve ever encountered, and throughout the entire collection, bold was very overused for emphasis. Once in a while is fine, but doing it this often just becomes distracting.

And its conception as a series of flash fiction prompts hurts, as well. Most of the chapters are a bit rushed and confused, and it can be difficult to invest yourself in the story because of that. The only places where this isn’t true are the Pinkie chapters, because it would take an abject failure on the author’s part for Pinkie Pie to not convey emotion.

However, on the whole, it’s well-presented aside from those points, and nopony feels out of character for the most part (barring Dash and AJ when they’re intentionally being that way for Rarity). I do take some issue with Fluttershy being a closet dominatrix like this, though. It’s not that I don’t believe she could play that role, just that it seems strange to have her step into it so comfortably. A story really ought to have her growing into such things over time.

As someone with an Appalachian accent who can’t consistently pronounce the letter “I”, I ask you, please don’t write out the Apple Accent phonetically.

Bold is best used sparingly. Don’t let the reader see more than two sections of bolded text on the screen at the same time. Italics do just as well for emphasizing text, without standing out so much and becoming distracting.

Try to clarify character emotions. I suspect the problems I had with this are mostly a product of the flash fiction origins of this story, but it was the most constant immersion-breaker I had.

Enjoyment of many of this story’s chapters is heavily dependent on how much the reader accepts or enjoys the various fetishes and ships being portrayed, and as such it will be pretty inconsistent quality for most people. And as is often the case with anthologies, the quality of the story does in fact vary over the course of the work. There were a couple shining jewels, but for the most part it was just mediocre and failed to really engage me.

Enjoyable. While on the whole, I’ve liked Shrinky Frod’s other stories more, I’ll gladly elevate Chapter Six and Chapter Ten (the two PinkieCake chapters) to a “Recommended”. I wouldn’t blame anyone for skimming or skipping the rest of this and just reading those two.