Journey to the Center of the Rainbow: By The DJ Rainbow Dash

Intro:
This is a really cute story with a very interesting premise, and I'd recommend that you read it. Now, I feel the need to say that this review will contain light spoilers, but nothing that should be too major. Alright, lets get started!

Ah, Grammar. This story is almost perfect when it comes to this aspect. I only saw a few mistakes, such as these.

won’t ask what the reason is, but I’m sure if you want to tell me you well

Will

Rainbow groaned once the worn learn was mentioned

word

There were a few other blemishes, but nothing major. Just some mixed up words.

Ah, style. Style is such an important part of a story, and Journey to the Center of the Rainbow certainly has a good style.

The descriptions are wonderful. The imagery is spot on, and all the descriptions of the colorful areas Twilight and RD go to is great. Nothing became to over described, and left just enough room for your imagination. Which personally I love.

Now, this story flows very well. Every chapter is focused on a location that Twilight wants to bring Rainbow Dash to(mostly), and each chapter is the perfect length. The pacing was spot on, and that just made the story flow better. From beginning to end, Journey to the Center of the Rainbow has a great flow that really helps the reader immerse themselves into the story.

The Narrative is where this story really excels. Journey to the Center of the Rainbow is about Twilight taking Rainbow Dash on a vacation for her birthday. Each stop of their 7 day trip will pertain to each color of the rainbow. Of course more happens, but that's the basic idea.

Again,Spoilers Ahead!

This story's pacing is very good, with each chapter about a single color and a single destination. Over the course of the story you see Twilight's reasons for the very special birthday gift, as if you didn't from the beginning. Rainbow Dash slowly realizes that she has fallen in love with Twilight over the course of the story, and it is a very natural and well paced progression.

This story is mostly filled with heartfelt daww moments, and has a very nice sense of adventure that isn't overbearing. The main focus is romance, but the adventure aspect really adds to the story and makes it better, but doesn't distract from the romance in any way. It just adds to the story. Seriously, I can not emphasis enough how the adventure and romance blend together to produce some really amazing scenes.

I'm not going to paste the chapters here, but the two most prominent examples are when Twilight and Rainbow Dash are about to jump of a cliff into water below them, and when the two get caught in a landslide that brings them underground into a cavern filled with emeralds. Both scenes are adventurous, and helps strengthen their relationship.

The conflict is also very good. It mostly consists of Rainbow Dash's growing emotions, and the occasional problems they face at certain destinations. The conflict really adds to the story, even though it isn't always as present in certain chapters.

The two main character are Twilight and Rainbow Dash. They are in character throughout the whole story, their interactions are spot on even as they start to fall for one another. Spike's also in the beginning, and he's very well written. But, he's only there for the prologue. I still enjoyed his parts though.

I don't know what else to say except that they were all in character, and I absolutely adored their interactions.

When it comes to shipfics, originality is sometimes hard to come by. This story is definitely one that I would call original, for the premise alone. But the fact that it can pull of the idea of traveling around Equestria in 7 day's for Rainbow Dash's birthday is another great thing.

It's an idea that I've never head of before, and the idea is written well. From the well written characters, to the heartfelt scenes, and the wonderful imagery; this story is a unique and original gem.

Overall Score:
Grammar:9/10
Style:9/10
Narrative:10/10
Characters:9/10
Originality:8/10

TOTAL SCORE: 45/50

Tips:
I didn't see much issues with this story, but to fix little mistakes here and there I would suggest getting a proofreader if you haven't already. Besides that, keep doing what your doing!

Personal Note:
TwiDash was never a ship that I was convinced of, but since I didn't have a like or dislike for it I decided to pick this story. I can safely say that Journey to the Center of the Rainbow is one of the better romance stories that I've read on this site. Mainly for its refreshing plot, funny and cute moments, and its great characterization. This is a must read for anybody who enjoys Romance stories, I'm sure you won't regret checking it out!

3091733
Nice work Flaming! I like the detail you put in this review.

Remember to comment on their story linking them to this review.
Thanks,
Mr. Flare

3092097
Oops! I'll just go ahead and do that now

3093026 This was a great first review Toast! Welcome to the team!!

3094129
Thanks, glad to be a part of this wonderful group!

3094189 I'm glad to hear that! We are glad to have you!

If you ever have any questions or need anything, shoot a PM my way

3094208
Awesome, I'll be sure to if I need anything

Sorry to bring this up after such a long time, but I don't think I ever thanked you for just how detailed and good a review you gave my story I absolutely love in depth reviews of my stuff, especially when they have constructive criticism mixed with what I did right. These types of reviews helps me figure out the areas in which I need to improve.

I'm glad you enjoyed the narrative end so much speaking of which. This remains my first and only attempt at an adventure story, and I tried really hard to make sure that it wasn't just a glorified slice of life type story. Also, the fact you loved the cliff jumping scene makes me ecstatic, since this was one of the first scenes I had planned out when writing this

Again, thank you, this was really appreciated!

DJRD