I recently had a friends story rejected (Unfairly I think). And one of the problems was that apart from the OC the only MLP Character was Sunset Shimmer (Well for the first chapter at least). However the problem was that Sunset Shimmer didn't sound or read as Sunset Shimmer, but you see here's the problem I have with that rejection. On normal occasion I can tell when certain fan fic writers don't stick to character very well, but you see the problem is with Sunset Shimmer is...This is Pre- Rainbow Rocks Sunset Shimmer, and so my question is. What does "In Character" for Pre Rainbow Rocks Pre even EQG Sunset Shimmer even mean. Apart from High School you know what...There's not much character...or at least in terms of execution. Yes she's interesting cunning, manipulative, but she doesn't have that...Well...Iconic personality that Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash has. I'm not saying she's a dull interesting character, she's quiet a unique fascinating one....But how does she behave and act? That's the question.

4060593
Like you said, she's cunning and manipulative. She really doesn't care much for others' feelings outside of how she can use them against others and to her own advantage. (The only thing that hints to her being anything more than previously stated is her canon relationship with Flash before that went belly up.) She believes she's destined for greatness and will do whatever she can to get it. She has a chip on her shoulder against Princess Celestia for suggesting otherwise.

She's the "Bad Girl" archetype played to a(n exquisite, sexy) T, except with Twilight-level smarts to back it up. You could certainly do worse than picturing Trixie with the limiters removed. You could also certainly do worse than cueing up Mean Girls on Netflix.

Give all that a shot, see what you end up with.

Thing is I tried that but it was still rejected

4060593 See: Alpha Bitch

4060593 the strange thing about pre-rainbow rocks sunset, is that she feels she is justified in what she does. Note how towards the end of the movie she says "I'm not a monster, twilight". She doesn't think of herself as being a jerk or evil, she's just using available resources to get what is "rightfully hers". She's in denial about being evil, always telling herself what she does is right

4060637
You're not wrong.

In short, I think currently she has the smarts of Twilight, the understanding of Fluttershy and her own sense of authority and leadership which she has yet to fully understand how to use.

4060593

And one of the problems

You're not telling us everything here. What were the other problems? The other problems may have more to do with the rejection than anything else.

Also, which story approver/mod rejected it? That can also be important here.

Wait, a story can be rejected on this site based on subjective quality alone? Even if you follow the format rules in the FAQ?
I never realized that's the case. I mean, there's a ton of bad fanfiction on this site and we all know it. How are those stories accepted, if subjective quality is a factor???

Sunset Shimmer's personality and behavior ultimately depends on how well you think she witheld in the events of EG and EGRR. The possibility is endless. The only thing, though, is that you should not have Sunset act like Pinkie Pie. That's just very senseless. In my opinion, Sunset's character is very realistic in which she has to deal with ridicule and tries her best to be accepted amongst others after the events in EG. This is just what I think.

4062517 Well in this story she mostly Alpha personality until near the end. But I agree to me the perfect personality for her would be that fusion of Alpha and Ernest. Hopefully for the third movie.

4062622 I did and I APPROVED!

4062517

I have always viewed her as a witty, cynical smartass like this:

it's actually one of the reasons i like her

4716333 ...what does a cinamasins-style review of Smash Brothers have to do with Sunset Shimmer? This wouldn't be spam if you took the time to explain yourself, instead of just dumping random crap into threads.

4716742
I always saw her as one who would point out something that does not make sense and then make some kind of quip or rage comment on it.
Kind of like what Cinemasins do

4716775
While snarkiness is a common trait amongst Ensemble Dark Horse characters, I've never seen Sunset do that. Even when she was bad. She was just straight-up in-your-face mean; she doesn't do sarcasm. S01E01-02 Twilight was more snarky.

I think... sarcasm is a weapon used by those who don't have control/ power over the situation, and so must attack in more roundabout ways. That's not Sunset's MO.

4717664
Well, to each their own

I'm of the mind that "In-Character" depends on the interpretation. I say this as someone that likes to write almost every character they use a little differently every time, so a pinch of salt might be in order.

You could write Sunset as being a slightly obnoxious know-it-all (kind of like Twilight could be) now that she apparently has her confidence back, or a perpetually-apologizing wallflower still terrified of making anyone hate her again, or quite a few other personalities, just as long as you can explain that behavior, I think. Hell, you could even say that Sunset never really changed, that all of her behavior since the second she lost the Element of Magic was a ruse to build up her power again with a different method. (Maybe try to win the magic that was used to stop her for herself?) It'd be a stretch, certainly, but if it were handled right, it could be done.

Now that I think about, her personality is sort of a mix between Kirito from SAO and Luke Fon Fabre from Tales of the Abyss.
She likes her friends and doesn't let anything bad said about her get to her because she knows that she kinda deserved it, but when you attack her friends she will go berserk on you. She also doesn't seem to like others to get hurt fighting her battles, so she prefers to work alone. If you hurt any of her friends then she will fight tooth and nail to protect them, laws be damned if they get in the way.
But that is only my opinion. Ultimately, we haven't seen much of her to know the true her.

I found something that might represent what her beserker rage would be like if you threatened her friends, or, if you think of EQG1 Sunset:

Cold, vicious, and scary as hell

4060593 I think this clip summarizes Sunset pretty well.

Lacks restraint
Loves fighting
Enjoys winning, a lot

I've recently come to view Sunset as the living embodiment of fire in the MLPverse.

Huh, look at that....

Passionate
Proud
Prefers being alone
Loves a challenge
(perhaps unknowingly)Burns others on her path to greatness
Can bring others together with her warmth

Well, at least, this is how I would like to see her portrayed anyway.

4721614
I was going to say, that she's like Korra except with brains.

4721619 Unfortunately, I have yet to watch that show, so I can't really comment on that for myself.