Okay so I'm bored so say some sort of cheesy joke in the comments or something... AMUSE ME

3015173 How about a joke?

A conductor and his wife make up a plot to make up more money than they actually do by having him steal one penny for every dime he earns in his job.

So, he does exactly that. One penny for every dime. After days turned to weeks turned to months, he finally goes a full year of stealing one penny for every dime he earns.

"This is splendid!" His wife cheers. "With this money, we can by a new TV!"

They immediately go out to do so. After buying the TV, his wife gets an idea.

"Now you should steal not one, but two pennies for every dime you make."

So, he does exactly that. Not one, but two pennies for every dime. After days turned to weeks turned to months, he finally goes a full year of stealing not one, but two pennies for every dime he earns.

"This is sensational!" His wife cheers. "With this money, we can by a new car!"

They immediately go out to do so. After buying the car, his wife gets an idea.

"Now you should steal not one, not two, but three pennies for every dime you make!"

So, he does exactly that. Not one, not two, but three pennies for every dime. After days turned to weeks turned to months, he finally goes a full year of stealing not one, not two, but three pennies for every dime he earns.

"This is spectacular!" His wife cheers. "With this money, we can by a new house!"

They immediately go out to do so. After buying the house, his wife gets an idea.

"Now you should steal not one, not two, not three, but four pennies for every dime you make!"

So, he does exactly that. Not one, not two, not three, but four pennies for every dime. After days turned to weeks turned to months, he finally goes a full year of stealing not one, not two, not three, but four pennies for every dime he earns.

"This is stupendous!" His wife cheers. "With this money, we can buy a mansion!"

They immediately go out to do so. After buying the mansion, his wife gets an idea.

"Now you should steal not one, not two, not three, not four, but five pennies for every dime you make!"

So, he does exactly that. Not one, not two, not three, not four, but five pennies for every dime. After days turned to weeks turned to months, he finally goes a full year of stealing not one, not two, not three, not four but five pennies for every dime he earns.

"This is sacred!" His wife cheers. "With this money, we can buy our own resort!"

They immediately go out to do so. After buying the resort, his wife gets an idea.

"Now you should steal not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six pennies for every dime you make!"

So, he does exactly that. This facade goes on for many years without suspicion, him going several years stealing from his workplace without getting caught. Each year they would ascend in luxury and prosperity thanks to their bloating income, which increased twofold with every year. It seemed like it would never end...

...but fate had other plans.

After all those years, a fellow worker had caught him stealing not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten pennies for every dime he made. Realizing that the jig is up, he doesn't retaliate as the authorities take him away.

"Sir, you stand accused of stealing not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten pennies for every dime you've made for the last year. How do you stand."

"Guilty, your honor."

"Of course. I hereby sentence you to death by the chair!"

In a week's time, he finds himself strapped to the chair, the metal cap on his head.

"May god have mercy on your soul..." The executioner replies solemnly. "Roll on two!"

The electrician nods and throws the switch, sending thousands of volts through his body...

...only to have no effect on him.

Baffled, the executioner tries several more times, yet all times are just as successful.

"We need more power!" He calls out. "We must use the entire city's power!" So he runs to the mayor's office to obtain permission.

"...and why should we use the city's entire power supply for an execution?"

"He had stolen not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten pennies for every dime he's made for the last year."

The mayor scratches his chin in contemplation, then gives a nod.

"Very well. It shall be so."

Before long, he's in the chair again, the city's power supply ready to go through him.

"May god have mercy on your soul..." The executioner states solemnly. "Roll on two!"

The electrician nods and throws the switch, sending millions of volts through his body...

...only to have no effect on him.

Baffled, the executioner tries several more times, yet all times are just as successful.

"We need more power!" The mayor calls out. "We must use the entire state's power!" So he runs to the governor's office to obtain permission.

"...and why should we use the state's entire power supply for an execution?"

"He has stolen not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten pennies for every dime he's made for the last year."

The governor scratches his chin in contemplation, then gives a nod.

"Very well. It shall be so."

Before long, he's in the chair again, the state's power supply ready to go through him. The event makes news across the state.

"May god have mercy on your soul..." The executioner states solemnly. "Roll on two!"

The electrician nods and throws the switch, sending thousands of volts through his body...

...only to have no effect on him.

"We need more power!" The governor calls out. "We must use the entire country's power!" So he runs to the White House to obtain permission.

"...and why should we use the country's entire power supply for an execution?"

"He has stolen not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten pennies for every dime he's made for the last year."

The president scratches his chin in contemplation, then gives a nod.

"Very well. It shall be so."

Before long, he's in the chair again, the entire country's power supply ready to go through him. The execution makes news across the entire country, baffling all of the citizens and representatives alike.

"May god have mercy on your soul..." The executioner states solemnly. "Roll on two!"

The electrician nods and throws the switch, sending trillions of volts through his body...

...only to have no effect on him.

"HOW CAN THIS BE?" The entire country asks, almost simultaneously.

"Simple." The indestructible man answers plainly.

"I'm a conductor."

3015402 OH HAHAHAHA THAT OH GOD MY CHEST AHAHAHA OH OOHHHHH HAHAHA That sucked

3016480

3016510 Oh god crap! Nonono I MADE IT CRY oh crapcrap nono ohhaahahahhhhh hahaha that was so funny! I loved it! haha...