:: CONDITION RED :: PONY YOUR ACTION STATIONS :: CONDITION RED ::
Intelligence has been received (via this comment) that Changelings may have infiltrated the "Miss Harshwhinny is Best Pony" forum. If true, it is entirely conceivable that Changelings may be IMPERSONATING MISS HARSHWHINNY!
In wake of the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, we should have seen this coming. Clearly, Princess Cadance was a target of opportunity, for no pony is so beloved as Miss Harshwhinny! The power Queen Chrysalis could wield empowered by the love for Miss Harshwhinny is frightening to contemplate.
All forum members must immediately prove to the satisfaction of the forum moderators that he, she, or it is not a Changeling. If a forum member is, in fact, a registered Changeling, he, she, or it must present his, her, or its documentation to that fact, and proof of his, her, or its whereabouts for the last 12,912 hours. Failure to comply will be met with overwhelmingly gratuitous pun-ishment.
1934811 Moderatorzz zzould prezzent themzzelvezz to the Canterlot Public Hozzpital, where Nurzze Chyrzzalizz will zzubject them to tezzt them for changeling mind-control zzpellzz.
AW CRAP! I lost my Library Card! Now I got to wait in line again. That takes forever! Literally, forever. The Library's bureaucracy has some pretty weird timetables.
But wait: if a Changeling attempted to impersonate her Harshness, wouldn't that be the very definition of futility? Can you not see how ridiculous your worry is?
Relax, my friend. There is nothing to fear. There's no way Miss Harshwhinny is a changeling. Stand down. Have a biscuit.
1935856 Yeah, right. All y'all's need to prove it to me by trying to shapeshift. If you can't do it, then you're clear. But if you end up shapeshifting when you try and shapeshift, then we know you're guilty.
1935903 Oh, that's all? Okay, fair enough. One second …
HHHHHNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG
…
Okay, let me point out that only a small patch of my knee changed. The good news is that … um … this proves I can't be a changeling, since that's symptomatic of Changeling Hysteria Unintentionally Metamorphic Patella Syndrome, and changelings (not being existentially panicked by the existence of themselves) are immune to that.
The bad news is that the only cure for CHUMPS is large doses of love and sympathy. I'm taking up a collection. Will you donate?
No, I'm not. When you see multiples of me, it's because a lot of Sweetie Belle's travel between dimensions or time-travel. And I can say Mrs. H isn't with a fair degree of certainty.
Hello fellow ponies of lesser breed. It is I, the pink one.
As one of your... your uh... Helements of Armory, I am exempt from any need to prove myself as anything more than a standard winged-pony under the inferior rule of Queen Celestia.
1951835 Are you listening at all? Horizon merely has an unfortunate disease. Please don't mistake changeling infiltrators and ponies who simply have a medical condition.
1951844 I'm a changeling infiltrator who aspires to become a changeling exfiltrator. Are there any resources here I could make use of? Pamphlets or anything?
1951832 It's not racist. Pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers are merely tools. They can be used for a variety of tasks. They are universally acceptable tools for use against changelings, ponies, dragons, griffons, hominids, sprites, fae, undead(various), unruly (or even ruly) plantlife, diamond dogs and salesfolk.
In a pinch, you could even use them to help with infestations of harikrishnans. But, in that case, I would suggest a widespread chemical pesticide agent.
**EMERGENCY HIVEWIDE ANNOUNCEMENT** DECLASSIFIED FOR IMMEDIATE WORLDWIDE DISTRIBUTION
My fellow changelings,
I have sad news to report. After realizing that nodrone had heard from agent 1938200 since his latest post, I sent a team to his adopted domicile to investigate. He was discovered slumped over at his computer. After medical evacuation to Hive Outpost KZZS-158, he was determined to be in a diabetic coma, with blood affection levels at a mandible-dropping 6.2 gigahugs/liter.
Four members of the cleanup crew subsequently dispatched to the site were also incapacitated with similar symptoms after interaction with his computer (which has been subsequently quarantined and burned).
The only possible conclusion is that the members of the "Miss Harshwhinny forum" he was infiltrating have unleashed some heretofore unknown weapon of mass destruction. ALL INVASION PLANS ARE IMMEDIATELY CANCELLED, UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Drones are urged to use extreme caution in interacting with forum members, especially his last known contact, 1938221.
Ah, umm, uuh. I assure you, heheh, there's no need for pitchforks here. Wow, is it getting warm in here?
If you'd kindly put down the torch, you'd see I'm simply a pony with questionable intelligence as is customary in all observable ponies... thus, leaving me above suspicion?
H-hold on a minute. You should listen to the Skywriter. I think he- *recoils under Fuzzyfurvert's intense glare* I, uhh, a-alright. Actually, I believe m-my pony ID's here somewhere. *riffles through bag* I'm pretty sure I grabbed it from her...
Ahah! By Faust, I think this is it!
I, what!? How did she!?... ... ... ...That's, uh...that's a joke, heheh. April Foals! Heheheh Oh Faust
(Edit:Thanks to SweetAI Belle for a better ID card templet)
1978914 So what you're saying is that she failed to destroy all old copies of her card when it was replaced, in violation of explicit regulations to the contrary.
:: CONDITION RED :: PONY YOUR ACTION STATIONS :: CONDITION RED ::
Intelligence has been received (via this comment) that Changelings may have infiltrated the "Miss Harshwhinny is Best Pony" forum. If true, it is entirely conceivable that Changelings may be IMPERSONATING MISS HARSHWHINNY!
In wake of the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, we should have seen this coming. Clearly, Princess Cadance was a target of opportunity, for no pony is so beloved as Miss Harshwhinny! The power Queen Chrysalis could wield empowered by the love for Miss Harshwhinny is frightening to contemplate.
All forum members must immediately prove to the satisfaction of the forum moderators that he, she, or it is not a Changeling. If a forum member is, in fact, a registered Changeling, he, she, or it must present his, her, or its documentation to that fact, and proof of his, her, or its whereabouts for the last 12,912 hours. Failure to comply will be met with overwhelmingly gratuitous pun-ishment.
1934754
But to whom do the forum moderators prove themselves? Who watches the watchponies?
[youtube=ExDaDmz9NFM]
1934811
Moderatorzz zzould prezzent themzzelvezz to the Canterlot Public Hozzpital, where Nurzze Chyrzzalizz will
zzubject them totezzt them for changeling mind-control zzpellzz.AW CRAP!
I lost my Library Card! Now I got to wait in line again. That takes forever! Literally, forever. The Library's bureaucracy has some pretty weird timetables.
--A!Blue
1935203
I told you you need to keep it someplace you won't forget. Oh well, you just gotta get another I guess.
--D!Blue
I am totally the changeling.
See? Now you know I'm not the changeling, as they would never give themselves away!
1935210
...
You aren't gonna take me to task for this?
CHANGELING!
--A!Blue
1935218
[USER IS BANNED. SUSPECTED OF BEING A CHANGELING]
I am not now, nor have I ever been a changeling. There was that one time it Tiajuana where I got close, but I never went full-on changeling. I swears.
1934811
But wait: if a Changeling attempted to impersonate her Harshness, wouldn't that be the very definition of futility? Can you not see how ridiculous your worry is?
Relax, my friend. There is nothing to fear. There's no way Miss Harshwhinny is a changeling. Stand down. Have a biscuit.
I can personally vouch that my hivemates 1935852, 1935853, 1935856, and 1934754 are NOT changelings.
Thank you, Horizon. Take it straight from the horse's mandibles: 1935848, 1935853, 1935856, and 1934754 are not changelings.
It's good to know you guys have my posterior carapace. 1935848, 1935852, 1935856, and 1934754 are definitely not changelings.
1935848, 1935852, 1935853, and 1934754 have all been in my sight continuously since they hatched. There's no way any of them could be changelings.
1935856
Yeah, right. All y'all's need to prove it to me by trying to shapeshift. If you can't do it, then you're clear. But if you end up shapeshifting when you try and shapeshift, then we know you're guilty.
1935775 That's exactly the sort of thing a changeling would say! J'accuse!
1934754 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzžžźréé
GUYS! THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! 1937051 is lying. DON'T TRUST THAT CHANGELING SCUM!!
1934754
*sigh*
I thought all this was settled back when DaemoN67 accused me of being a changeling...
--Sweetie Belle
1935903
Oh, that's all? Okay, fair enough. One second …
HHHHHNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG
…
Okay, let me point out that only a small patch of my knee changed. The good news is that … um … this proves I can't be a changeling, since that's symptomatic of Changeling Hysteria Unintentionally Metamorphic Patella Syndrome, and changelings (not being existentially panicked by the existence of themselves) are immune to that.
The bad news is that the only cure for CHUMPS is large doses of love and sympathy. I'm taking up a collection. Will you donate?
1937992
Hunh. Well, are you one?
More importantly, is Miss HarshwhinnAI?
1938200
Well, a hug should take care of that.
*hugs*
--Sweetie Belle
1938220
No, I'm not. When you see multiples of me, it's because a lot of Sweetie Belle's travel between dimensions or time-travel. And I can say Mrs. H isn't with a fair degree of certainty.
--Sweetie Belle
1934754
Hello fellow ponies of lesser breed. It is I, the pink one.
As one of your... your uh... Helements of Armory, I am exempt from any need to prove myself as anything more than a standard winged-pony under the inferior rule of Queen Celestia.
I've got a truck-load of fresh torches and recently sharpened pitchforks already. Should I go get the feathers and start heating the tar?
1940273
Well, now, wait. We don't want to be racist, here.
1938200
KILL IT KILL IT CHANGELING SCUM
1951835
Are you listening at all? Horizon merely has an unfortunate disease. Please don't mistake changeling infiltrators and ponies who simply have a medical condition.
1951844
I'm a changeling infiltrator who aspires to become a changeling exfiltrator. Are there any resources here I could make use of? Pamphlets or anything?
1951832
It's not racist. Pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers are merely tools. They can be used for a variety of tasks. They are universally acceptable tools for use against changelings, ponies, dragons, griffons, hominids, sprites, fae, undead(various), unruly (or even ruly) plantlife, diamond dogs and salesfolk.
In a pinch, you could even use them to help with infestations of harikrishnans. But, in that case, I would suggest a widespread chemical pesticide agent.
1938497
> the inferior rule of Queen Celestia
A'right boys, we got ourselves a Luna fan here. 1940273, pass me a torchfork.
1953243
Sweet night, the Celestia fans are back. 1940273, break out the pitchfeathers.
**EMERGENCY HIVEWIDE ANNOUNCEMENT**
DECLASSIFIED FOR IMMEDIATE WORLDWIDE DISTRIBUTION
My fellow changelings,
I have sad news to report. After realizing that nodrone had heard from agent 1938200 since his latest post, I sent a team to his adopted domicile to investigate. He was discovered slumped over at his computer. After medical evacuation to Hive Outpost KZZS-158, he was determined to be in a diabetic coma, with blood affection levels at a mandible-dropping 6.2 gigahugs/liter.
Four members of the cleanup crew subsequently dispatched to the site were also incapacitated with similar symptoms after interaction with his computer (which has been subsequently quarantined and burned).
The only possible conclusion is that the members of the "Miss Harshwhinny forum" he was infiltrating have unleashed some heretofore unknown weapon of mass destruction. ALL INVASION PLANS ARE IMMEDIATELY CANCELLED, UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Drones are urged to use extreme caution in interacting with forum members, especially his last known contact, 1938221.
– Sub-Hivelord Farsight
1953268
You sound like you need a hug too.
*hugs*
--Sweetie Belle
1953283
Hug 'em like a BOSS Sweetie. I'mma go heat up the pitchforks.
Just in case.
1940273
Ah, umm, uuh. I assure you, heheh, there's no need for pitchforks here. Wow, is it getting warm in here?
If you'd kindly put down the torch, you'd see I'm simply a pony with questionable intelligence as is customary in all observable ponies... thus, leaving me above suspicion?
1956853
And there lies your logic fallacy. By being above suspicion, you are the most suspicious.
The 'forks are at a nice glowing red temp.
1956853
That's true. Ponies are admittedly pretty stupid.
If you're stupid, I guess that makes you a pony! Welcome!
1963948
No! Sky, don't be lulled so easily!
Remember the ol' saying: "Around Changelings, Never..... something." I'm not good with old sayings.
I say we check this so called 1956853 's ID.
1964275 1963948
Eh-heheh. I-ID?
H-hold on a minute. You should listen to the Skywriter. I think he- *recoils under Fuzzyfurvert's intense glare* I, uhh, a-alright. Actually, I believe m-my pony ID's here somewhere. *riffles through bag* I'm pretty sure I grabbed it from her...
Ahah! By Faust, I think this is it!
I, what!? How did she!?...
... ... ...That's, uh...that's a joke, heheh. April Foals! Heheheh
Oh Faust
(Edit:Thanks to SweetAI Belle for a better ID card templet)
1964275>>1965565
We're supposed to be showing id cards?
--Sweetie Belle
1965565
For a second there I panicked because I thought it was expired, but no, it's only 2013. Phew! Okay, that looks to be in order.
1965596
Wait, "Rarity" is you guys's last name? What's Rarity's first name, then?
1965596
1965838
Alphonse
1965838
Here, it's on her id...
--Sweetie Belle
1978588
Uh-oh. Somepony's ID is expired.
CHANGELING CHANGELING CHANGELING
1978768
Of course it's expired. Why do you think I have it? She'd gotten a new one by now.
--Sweetie Belle
1978914
So what you're saying is that she failed to destroy all old copies of her card when it was replaced, in violation of explicit regulations to the contrary.
That sounds like something a changeling would do.
1979331
Actually, I found it under the cushions of that couch she likes to collapse on. I think she just lost it.
--Sweetie Belle