FOE: Broken Oaths

The main genre for it is adventure, based in the fallout Equestria world.

This story is not finished. I plan for this story to be long, going for at least / around 400K words although this can change drastically.

Spoilers
This story follows a group of Pegasi that escape from a Enclave affiliated Stable deep in a mountain range. Our main character (Fantastic Storm) is forced to escape after an Overseer (there are multiple in this stable) ordered his execution (Siren). Another Pegasi with a multiple personality disorder (Arkangel / Pale Shroud) helps him escape taking the would be executioner (Siren) with them. They run into the wasteland, over time they gain the attention of a raider gang (black Reavers), a slave empire (Prejudices horde) and a group with ties way back to the old Equestrian Government (the Resurgence). They must fight their way across the wasteland while being hunted by these groups and the stable they have escaped from.

It doesn't take long until Storm find there is more to his MPD companion when he finds that he is directly linked to the end of the World, and it only gets worse when the past comes to present to enact their revenge on the world.

I'm just looking for anyone that would be interested in editing for my story. I have a pretty long plan for the story but I find I have a problem of not fully detailing the story or just making it seem uninteresting. Also I find that I maybe lacking in character development.