(Group not yet up and running because holidays and I am lazy.)

So you wrote a story… Congratulations, you win one internet. (Don’t hang around the ponies from Saddle Arabia anymore, they are thieving sacks of poo) The plot was amazing and your spelling was more perfect than celestia’s, good for you! You managed to equal an alicorn in a way that didn’t include your OC! And speaking of him/her/it/thing/frorange, (Twilight’s magic misstep in Too Many Pinkie’s, for those who care.) it is the best character ever and you won’t even be shocked if Hasbro asks to use it or something. It’s the readers that don’t get it. (Brony spirit is dead after all, the fandom ate it. Bad fandom… ) Just because they hate your unique awesomesauce doesn’t mean it’s bad, it means they’re meenies and don’t know what the buck they’re doing. (Boo! They suck Celestia’s rumpled thousands-of-years-old plot! )

Still, you figured, why not get a second opinion? At least your OC wasn’t an alicorn and wasn’t dating one of the mane six. (Applejack doesn’t count right? She is a background pony after all…) You search for a reviewing/editing group and you see this awesome banner and think, “It’s just a funny joke and these people will give me good criticism even if they’re a little harsh about it. (Harsh = they are assholes and don’t know how to say things nicely.) These seem like fun, lovable, people, who will tell me what I need to do so people will recognize my epicness and the epicness of my OC, king BlackAndRed the unicorn without superpowers that becomes an alicorn (he gets wings) and gets superpowers. (his magic works now but only when it is a bad situation) It’s cool though, he’s not overpowered because he’s emo and that’s, like, a life crutch or something.

Buck you. You suck more horsed*ck than Luna did to get her crown and sparkly mane back in time for season two. You suck more horsed*ck than Chrysalis did to prove she was Cadence to Shining Armour. You suck more horsed*ck than Trixie in any given moment of her existence. You suck more horsed*ck than Breaburn in any horrible, bucking stupid, butt hugging, potato chip deleting, couch destroying story that this fandom dictated was his nature. (Because straight guys don’t say “WeeeEEEEEeellcome!” they say “Howdy” or “Sup everpony” or some other less fancy greeting. Its science, don’t be gay and try to claim it isn’t, don’t be this sites Braeburn.

Welcome one and all to the Buck You Reviewers! We are not nice and your fiction sucks and you should know it by now. We aren’t here to kiss the tattered remains of your dignity, we are here to take a whizz on it like that one ratty looking dog does on the homeless guy in the park. You know which dog I mean and which hobo. If you submit your fic here we are going to tear it to shreds and we are going to dance it naked along our forum for all to see just how crummy you are.

There, now none of you can b*tch and moan like Rarity does when someone tracks mud into her house. If you place your fic in here we reserve all rights to ignore it or to facef*** the stupid out of it.

Note: For those who still want to b*tch, (we salute you!) we are not going to go out and find fiction and place it here. This is for those self-depreciating, circle jerking, bucking idiots, who write horrible and putrid stories on purpose (or don’t know that’s what they’re doing) and want to have it ripped to shreds. In order for a fic to be approved here for royal buttf**kery deserving of only the finest of alicron oc’s, the Author of said bag of rotten apples must post the story in the thread specified, (or the front page) while also saying as exactly as they possibly can, “I hereby allow you to try and destroy this masterpiece.” or even just, “This sucks, it’s mine, come look.” ONLY THE AUTHOR CAN POST FOR THEY’RE STORY TO BE DEFAMED. If you did not write it, make fun of it on your own that is also fun and won’t get anyone banned. Do not post someone else’s story here as it will be ignored and you will be shamed. Don’t be shamed. Don’t be this site’s Braeburn.

Note Two Electric Boogaloo: Provided no one submits because, “love and tolerate” is the cancer killing fimfic, I will be forced to circle jerk the buck out of the forum here and go join up with a posse of people with real life problems (that means you cockroach mark crusaders) for some shit story making, so we can feast on something or I’ll just be absent for a long bucking time or both.

Finally, we have cookies and beer. You can have one but not both.