Hello, I'm partway through my first legitimate story, adding to it chapter by chapter. So far the comments (as well as my return email from submitting to Equestria Daily) give me the impression that my story is good but in need of a.) some grammatical and spelling revisions (I've done most of what I can myself, but it is difficult to review one's own work) and b.) more views. As such, I am seeking anyone who'd be willing to help me with those endeavors.

The Black Hoof: A Mafia Story
Genre: Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe; Rating: Teen

Los Relinchos is the entertainment capitol of Equestria: gambling, dancing, music, and general hedonism are the order of the day in this desert paradise. But beneath the glow of the neon lies the heart of a city corrupted by organized crime. From casinos to car dealers, record labels to restaurants; the black hoof is into everything in the city. Two rival families have remained in an uneasy truce for the past thirty years, as Los Relinchos grew from a small gem-mining backwater into a monument to vice. But this truce is about to be broken - and Spike has the misfortune of landing in the middle of it. Two mobsters (a certain white unicorn and a certain blue pegasus) bring him in on the side of Don Celestia, and he follows the ups - money, cars, mares - and the downs - senseless violence, betrayal, mistrust - of "the life" over the years in this alternate universe fic inspired by the likes of Mafia and Goodfellas.

It's got more than a few touches of violence, but there's also a lot of dialog and comic relief for good measure.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/213128/the-black-hoof-a-mafia-story