6458980 Words such as "mortified" and "elated" are fine on their own. They work better, however, in a third-person narrative, when the readers are not in the character's head. Then, statements like "she was mortified" do little to harm the story.

But when I read those statements in this chapter, I was taken out of the story for a moment. It seemed then that Recap was just telling her emotions to the DJ, when a character like her would rather show those emotions. Well, that is just my interpretation, anyway.

Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

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Oh wow, thanks! I have not advertised anywhere yet (working on a special project that will sort of give everyone an idea of the story and just be a fun little project). I was going to announce things when that was finished. That said, thanks so much! That is most kind! Also, I will announce on here when the project is complete :-D

Have a great day! And I am just blown away that you would advertise my book.

6545684 if you have a facebook, PLEASE consider joining the group. you can self advertise all you want there, it's what the group was made for. so PLEASE consider joining us, it'd help me because otherwise I'll be monitoring your story and having to release updates on every new chapter you write. XD so you being there to offer said updates yourself would help my load, because I'm doing it for a lot of books right now. :)

6545712

Yeah sure. Will do. You just want me to post on there when I do new chapters? I can easily do that. Just takes a bit of scrolling :-) I submitted a "can I join" dealio. I will keep track. Plus, a chance to talk with others about my story and others sounds like fun. Thank you so much! Any plans on how you are going to maintain all of the stories in the future? Only because that is a lot of stories X_X

6545876 just follow them personally myself and post about it whenever individual stories have any updates. ^-^; It's the best I can do, unless authors like yourself get on there and do your stories for me so I don't have to. :) Also, feel free to talk about anything foe related on the forum, and advertise other peoples works as well as your own. :) Or just generally talk about foe in general. ^^ I've added you to the place now.

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Thanks for the comment! I was actually going to go back and edit that first bit of the chapter. I talked with others I knew after getting some critique regarding it and it is my plan to go back and edit that section, move some things around, etc. Will do that after I finish editing chapter 4. As for punctuation etc, sorry. I have mostly done academic writing and writing literature has proved to be quite different. I am looking for an editor.

Interestingly enough, her writing style is probably a result of the fact that the stable is just as much a historically focused stable that had literature grow into it the culture; happens when everyone got bored of recording the history of only 200 or so ponies for years on end (just imagined 200 historians all following each other around in some sort of infinite circle of historical record). So yes, she has been trained in literature but she has also been trained more academically (which, for good or ill, is more my training. Yay history degree which I will never use). Stories are something I have been practicing and learning myself.

I am glad you like the humor. I love a good story with mystery, serious character arcs, etc but I find when I write I just cannot help but insert some humor in there. Humor is just one of those things I love about stories. Also, I will need to check out what you are writing sometime. (looks at his row of unread books and other stories that need to be explored). It will happen eventually XD What is it about?

Lastly, as for the story of what happens to Recap post plagiarism, I recommend you read on ;-)

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Interestingly enough, her writing style is probably a result of the fact that the stable is just as much a historically focused stable that had literature grow into it the culture; happens when everyone got bored of recording the history of only 200 or so ponies for years on end (just imagined 200 historians all following each other around in some sort of infinite circle of historical record). So yes, she has been trained in literature but she has also been trained more academically (which, for good or ill, is more my training. Yay history degree which I will never use). Stories are something I have been practicing and learning myself.

I had some suspicions about this. It is a nice touch from a creative side of things.

Also, I will need to check out what you are writing sometime. (looks at his row of unread books and other stories that need to be explored). It will happen eventually XD What is it about?

Joker's Wild is a love story to the style of the old fallout games and the wasteland itself. It takes place 50 years before the original, and one of the critical anomalies in the narrative is the organization of raiders. Something is pulling them all together from all over the wasteland, under the concept of taking back a world that has been denied them. The protagonist, Tumbleweed, is a Caravan Trailblazer for the Glory Road company, meaning he has been hired to travel to towns all over the wasteland and organize trade deals and caravan routes on behalf of this company. Tumbleweed meets a strange zebra with a penchant for justice, who ends up heading into a town that seems to be a gathering place of all sorts of raiders. That gathering place is Ponyville, and little do they know... that little decrepit town is a place where great misfortunes and disasters always seem to happen. Its a story about unfortunate fates, defying fate, personal freedom in a world without laws, geo-political economy, crazy and unorthodox events that go beyond belief, human nature and how you deal with it, and living in a broken world while loving every minute of it. It's about smart ponies doing stupid, irresponsible things in the most interesting and intelligent ways possible. Anyway, that is the pitch, without too many spoilers.

I am glad you like the humor. I love a good story with mystery, serious character arcs, etc but I find when I write I just cannot help but insert some humor in there. Humor is just one of those things I love about stories.

I've reached the point where I struggle to find the point where comedy transitions into dramatics. Everything can be comedy, and comedy is at it's most intense when it is absolutely serious. Stories that try to make everything serious while avoiding anything comedic tend to be boring for me, and rather unbelievable. We live in a funny world where all sorts of backwards stuff happens. Nobody can escape humor.

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Ooh, glad you liked it. I would agree that I definitely hit my stride more as time went on (though I do plan on going back revising that first chapter. Hopefully will find time for that and chapter 4 during the holidays).

In regards to why Recap left, I can see what you mean there. I do hope that as time goes on her reasons (good, bad, and imagined) become more more understandable. At least I hope so since I tend to try and write like method actors try to act (it's what playing a lot tabletop games will do to you :-p ). That said, the entire circumstance behind her reasoning is strange since we don't exactly hold academic contributions as the single measure by which every part of our worth is measured. Funny how I originally imagined Stable 22 as a wonderful place to live. I mean it isn't terrible but that single minded focus would be pretty terrible for anyone who doesn't like reading or writing.

Oh! Question: Is this the second chapter you read? Or did you read the second and the third? And thanks for reading :-D

6710452 I have read the second and third chapters, yes. However, I could not think of enough to talk about that could warrant another comment on the third one. I would likely say the same positives as I had on the second one.

lol, I'll try reading it. I like that you still have my cover :3