Friendship is Card Games: Adventures in Puppysitting & Fallout Post · 12:23pm Sep 11th, 2022
Sunnytember continues as we take a look at what the comics have been up to. When last we left that instance of Maretime Bay, Discord had emerged from the depths of antiquity and the ruins of Canterlot, seeking to save ponies from themselves by eliminating magic. We will, of course, immediately follow up on such a major plot development.
… Won’t we?
Adventures in Puppysitting
Well, there’s a slight kink there. Teleporting to parts unknown doesn’t exactly leave an obvious trail, so our heroes have no idea where to start looking.
I appreciate Zipp wanting to keep public panic to a minimum, but ponies willl panic anyway as magic becomes increasingly erratic. Also, Pipp already caused mass panic by informing her followers of the Pegasus Crystal’s disappearance.
Zipp almost has an idea on how to track Discord… but then her mother calls. Haven needs her to dogsit while the queen’s at a "unity summit” and refuses to believe that there could be anything more important on Zipp’s plate. And apparently the queen doesn’t have anypony on her staff to serve as royal dogsitter other than the crown princess.
(Honestly, I’m more interested in that unity summit, especially given the magic situation. Watching the tribes mend to rifts that have long separated them, even as a new catastrophe threatens to reopen them? Heck yes.)
Zipp isn’t having it. She leaves Cloudpuff with a water bowl and a tennis ball, then goes out to comb the city for clues.
She sees a red tail with a white tuft, chases after it, and runs into… this. I don’t know who this pony is. I don’t know why they’re walking around in a dragon onesie. They appear to be in the same boat as poor Rob, existing only to make a joke work.
Interrogating the city turns up nothing. Zipp leaves Cloudpuff’s dinner by his bed, turns in for the night herself… and when she wakes up the next day, that food is completely untouched.
(Side note: There’s a very interesting question of just where the pegasi get the raw materials for their pet food, but that’s another matter.)
But yes, while Zipp was investigating, Cloudpuff left a decoy and slipped away. How a dog found a volleyball, much less applied the marker and tape, is a question best left unconsidered for the sake of my own sanity.
“This is bad! If Mom can’t trust me with pet duty, how will she trust me with the whole kingdom?!”
I mean, there’s an argument that Zipp might want to completely bodge this job for that exact reason, but she still doesn’t want any harm to befall Cloudpuff. Still, it’s been established that she idn’t exactly looking forward to inheriting the crown.
And now we see one of the benefits of G5: Zipp needs help from friends who are still in Maretime Bay… so she just calls them. No muss, no fuss.
Also, Hitch gets the call in the middle of enforcing a pedestrian speed limit. I’ve said that I’d like to see him show some more spine in Tell Your Tale, but trot-only zones go too far in the other direction.
I do appreciate Hitch objecting to being called both a “pet psychic”—faux psychic detectives are an entirely different series—and Zipp’s sidekick.
Hitch points out that Cloudpuff missed dinner and thus would try to get food elsewhere. Zipp goes to one of Zephyr Heights’s upscale restaurants… and she’s right. Cloudpuff even has a standing reservation at Chez Pedigree. (Also, French—or Prench, depending on your preference—survived the fall of Old Equestria.)
The city also has a Rodeo Drive, where the pair find Cloudpuff’s favorite store on the Citadel in town, at least going by the endorsements. He agreed to model for the proprietor of a beauty supply shop, and the question of pet sapience in Equestria has risen to uncomfortable degrees that even Fluttershy’s antics can’t match.
The shop owner only points in the vague direction of the City Guard, but Hitch finds a more promising lead in a convenient, disconcertingly spherical rabbit. (I know they look like that in G5. I don’t know why.)
After passing through a naturally occurring trompe l’oeil, they find Cloudpuff in a secret cavern, complete with scenic waterfall. Zipp apologizes and promises to do better next time, and Cloudpuff agrees to return to the palace as long as the ponies don’t tell anyone about his secret spot.
Haven gets back none the wiser… and in Maretime Bay, Sunny’s wondering where Hitch is so they can follow up on a potential Discord sighting.
Hitch and Zipp return on cue, there’s a bit of shallow wit, everypony laughs… and the whole exercise is utterly baffling. An ancient foe of Equestria has returned seeking to destroy everything Sunny has tried to build, and what’s the very next thing the comics do? Goofy slice of life. Why this? Why here? Why now? Any dramatic tension is lost, the reminders of Discord’s presence only serving to remind the audience of how misguided this whole exercise feels in context.
Okay, but surely the next issue will address the draconequus in the room, right?
Fallout Post
Well, maybe. Pipp opens with an announcement to her loyal followers: Her next “major life update” will be written rather than streamed. Nopony looks happy at the prospect of having to read, even after the promise of lots of selfies. But Pipp does say it’s about Discord. Here’s hoping.
Huh. That is an impressive number of selfies, though I’m not sure when or how Pipp got that many with Discord. I guess she’s just that good.
Ah. It’s a full rundown of the first two issues, ending on a call for help. And when I say “full,” I mean it. Pipp writes the thing for ten hours straight before posting it. Two hours after that, the post has over a hundred thousand views, nearly as many likes, and almost seven thousand comments.
That feel when your target audience is a niche within a niche.
Mind you, Pipp also has some concerns about her work as well. She calls her mother, saying that she wants to write about the disastrous concert that revealed that the royal family couldn’t fly. Haven is… less than pleased at the prospect.
(Side note: Between issues, Cloudpuff has gone from making restaurant reservations and sponsoring local businesses to trying to eat Haven’s makeup. I can’t tell if this is terrible continuity or the dog feigning stupidity so the queen doesn’t suspect anything. Also, no indication of mass panic after the Discord post, despite Zipp’s misgivings last issue.)
Pipp wants to show greater emotional complexity, to show ponies “that it’s okay to be sad sometimes.” Haven is ultimately supportive… though given how she assures Pipp that she’s “always welcome back home,” she doesn’t have a lot of confidence in the crowd’s reaction.
Mind you, Pipp explicitly says “What could go wrong?” This definitely won’t go well.
Pipp does stop before posting, saving that update as a draft and resolving to wake up early and ask her friends what they think about it. It does greatly involve them, after all.
So, naturally, she wakes up at high noon. 
Sunny’s no help. She, like a good chunk of the reader base, is too focused on the Discord situation to focus on anything else. She suggests Hitch, a welcome source of grounded opinions. Of course, he’s helping a street fair set up…
He is able to divide his attention to offe a bit of feedback, mostly how different this will be from Pipp’s usual content. She insists it can be more complex, and goes to find Izzy, who says it’s an incredibly brave plan. After all, she “would never, ever want to tell 1.6 million pnoies about the worst, most embarrassing, most horrible day of [her] life!”
(1.6 million? At least it isn’t the billions of views from last week.)
Zipp’s last, and while she thinks it’s a great idea, she’s worried about how much Pipp may be hurt by her followers’ backlash if it doesn’t go well. Unhealthy parasocial relationships can cut both ways, after all. (Not quite how Zipp phrases it, but that is the gist.)
After much silent deliberation, Pipp decides to post it after all. And after a week, it has… 326 views, 92 likes, and apparently no comments. Now those are numbers I’m more familiar with. 
Of course, for an e-celebrity like Pipp, this relative absence of engagement cannot stand. She prepares to delete the post…
When a personal message finds its way into her inbox.
(Side note, I cannot believe she isn’t bombarded by messages on a constant basis. Maybe a member of the royal staff screens them for her even now.)
The message is from Felicity, a young unicorn whose family moved to Maretime Bay and who feared she wouldn’t fit in, and thus invented an entire fantasy life to wow the locals. After all, who wouldn’t want to hang out with a surfing, skydiving princess from a cotton candy forest with pet dragons, a sphinx for a best friend? And that worked out great… until one of her classmates actually went to the Bridlewood.
Suffice to say, Pipp’s post gave Felicity the courage to ask for forgiveness. And her friends gave it to her, and a fresh start.
Pipp sends a message to all and sundry expressing her gratitude for the reassurance that she doesn’t need to put on a mask for her followers. (No more than any online persona, anyway.)
It’s lovely stuff, I just wish that they hadn’t put the world in peril if this were the plan for Issue #4. Though the last panel is a PM from Discord, so this may have wider ramifications than I realize.
(And no, there’s no sign or mention of any fluctuating magic in either of these issues, and there are plenty of pegasi flying with no concern about falling out of the sky.)
In all, we have a fairly shallow story, a touchingly deep one, and scarcely more than lip service paid to the story arc the first two issues set up. Again, baffling narrative priorities on display. I’ll check back after Issue #6 comes out and see if the next issues have any bearing on the overarching plot. Who knows? Maybe these two have been laying down pieces of a puzzle I can’t yet perceive.
For now, I still have half of my latest post to unveil:
Blocked Thoroughfare W
Sorcery
Each player skips their next combat phase.
Draw a card.
“Sorry, folks! We’ll have this sorted out soon.”
—Hitch Trailblazer, Maretime Bay sheriff
Kennel Attendant 1W
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Kicker 1G (You may pay an additional 1G as you cast this spell.)
When Kennel Attendant enters the battlefield, if it was kicked, create a 3/1 green Dog creature token with vigilance.
Other creatures you control have ward 1. (Whenever it becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays 1.)
2/1
Trot-Only Zone 1W
Enchantment
Creatures your opponents control enter the battlefield tapped.
Each creature your opponents control with haste enters the battlefield with a stun counter on it. (If a permanent with a stun counter would become untapped, remove one from it instead.)
Enduring Identity 4WW
Enchantment
As Enduring Identity enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Permanents you control of the chosen type have indestructible.
1W: Another target noncreature permanent you control becomes a tribal of the chosen type in addition to its other types until end of turn.
Touchy Subject 1U
Enchantment
As Touchy Subject enters the battlefield, each player reveals their hand, then each player chooses a card name.
Whenever a player casts a spell with a chosen name, sacrifice Touchy Subject. If you do, each of that player’s opponents draws three cards.
Covert Cameramare 2U
Creature — Pegasus Scout
Flying
Morph U (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)
When Covert Cameramare is turned face up, draw a card.
The walls have ears. The sky has eyes.
2/1
Consult the Pippsqueaks 2UU
Instant
Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the greatest number of artifacts a player controls. Put up to two of them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Pipp’s army of followers stands ready for whatever the princess may ask of them.
Bridlewood Sphinx 3U
Creature — Sphinx
Kicker 2G
Flying
Domain — If Bridlewood Sphinx was kicked, it enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each basic land type among lands you control.
3/3
Royal Inquisition BB
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals their hand. Choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card. If you’re the monarch, repeat this process for each other opponent.
Some feared this was a taste of the reign of Queen Zipp. Others were just grateful they weren’t who she was looking for.
Emotional Distance 2B
Enchantment
At the beginning of your end step, you gain 1 life for each time you paid life this turn.
1B, Pay 3 life: Draw a card.
“You need some thick skin to make it on the Canternet.”
—Princess Pipp Petals
Zephyr Heights Butcher 3B
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Flying
1, Sacrifice a creature: Target creature gets +2/+1 until end of turn.
It is the duty of every pegasus to help the royal family however they can, even if it’s just feeding the kennels.
2/2
Dragon Aspirant 1R
Creature — Pegasus Shaman
Dragon Aspirant can’t block.
Ferocious — At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you control a creature with power 4 or greater, Dragon Aspirant gets +2/+2 and gains flying and trample until end of turn.
“Dragons are cool. That’s all the reason I need.”
2/2
Chaotic Luminescence 2R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control
When enchanted creature dies, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card. Put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. Then you may cast Chaotic Luminescence from your graveyard.
Veiled Decoy G
Artifact Creature — Dog
All creatures able to block Veiled Decoy do so.
Morph G (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)
Sometimes the power behind the throne is actually beneath it.
0/1
Hitch’s Informant 1G
Creature — Rabbit Rogue
Whenever Hitch’s Informant deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
Blitz 2G (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and “When this creature dies, draw a card.” Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)
Rats are actually much more circumspect.
2/2
Pack-Mind Psion 4GG
Creature — Pony Mystic
When Pack-Mind Psion enters the battlefield, if it was cast, draw a card for each creature target player controls.
A rediscovered copy of the Friendship Journal inspired countless new magical practices.
3/4
Surprise Missive RW
Sorcery
You and target opponent each exile the top three cards of your libraries. Until the end of your next turn, each player who exiled cards this way may play those cards.
When Discord slides into your DMs, he brings the whole playground.
New Beginning 1WB
Instant
Choose target permanent card in a graveyard that was put there from the battlefield this turn. Return it to the battlefield under your control.
Whether it’s redemption or corruption is a matter of perspective.
Online Persona 1UR
Artifact Creature — Illusion
Menace
Online Persona’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of artifacts you control.
Whenever Online Persona attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each artifact defending player controls.
*/*
Harsh Reality 2RG
Sorcery
Destroy all artifacts and enchantments target player controls. Harsh Reality deals 1 damage to that player for each permanent destroyed this way.
The Canternet is a modern-day dreamworld, and nopony likes a rude awakening.
Cathartic Grotto
Land
Hideaway 4 (When this land enters the battlefield, look at the top four cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Cathartic Grotto enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add U or B.
UB, T: You may play the exiled card without paying its mana cost if a graveyard has twenty or more cards in it.
Sugarspun Grove
Artifact Land — Food
Sugarspun Grove enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G.
2, T, Sacrifice Sugarspun Grove: You gain 3 life.
Izzy wasn’t sure what had happened to her old house, but she wasn’t complaining.
Sorry to say that these issues feel like filler, because unless they tie back into the main plot… well…
Still, good lessons were learned by the cast, even if they're ignoring the potential loss of their magic. Or at least everyone other than Sunny sounds like they are.
My bet (or personal headcanon, really) is that that pony really was Discord, just disguised to play a prank on Zipp. He would. And it would also fit in with the idea that he's watching over the characters (what else would he be doing?) and that ultimately seeing all that happens as a result of their actions might change his mind, but maybe that's wishful thinking. Also, neat to note that Hitch actually agreed to the free sample.
As for the general dissonance between the ongoing threat and the slice of life antics: What did anyone expect? I'm not saying it's good or welcome, but it was clear things would go like this. It's not the first instance of a piece of media doing it and it won't be the last, and I could think of a couple examples of similar things from FiM itself and probably from the comics too. It's a shame that the addition of the overarching narrative makes people perceive these as filler when it's meant to be the main breadth of the content we're getting, and it's no fault of the stories themselves.
What we're getting now with G5 is still miles better than what we were getting at times in the later stages of FiM's IDW run, so I'll take it for what it is. It's clear they want to make Discord a 'season' arc of sorts, so we're stuck with that until they resolve it, and I'd wager we'll get issues focused on all other characters before he's back. It's not great, but knowing IDW it might lead to a better end result than if they'd resolved the whole plot immediately. I do wish people would judge the stories in their own right instead of clamouring to get back to a 'main plot' that they'll end up being angry about again anyway.
It's not like any of it will matter too much when I'm pretty sure Misty will get introduced in the show right after the events of the MYM special, rendering the comics' canonicity even more shaky. Side note: that page where Zipp and Hitch find the cave? That's drawn in horribly confusing ways and doesn't make sense. I get what is supposed to be happening, but it's not explained properly in any way. You can't just claim' optical illusion' when what we're shown is that.
It's not even the timing of these that's the real problem; major arcs before in both the show and the comics have paused to do filler issues. As recently as "Season 10", this was done, and while that was a mistake for how utterly cramped and contrived it made the arc issues, it was otherwise fine, because the timeline of Season 10 was loose enough that, except when deliberate references were made to other issues, one could picture those filler issues as happening before/after it. It helps that, while largely disposable fluff, they were never as poorly-done as the arc issues. And when FiM largely ignored main season arcs (where they existed) between the opening and ending of a given season, it was sometimes annoying, but never show-killing, not even close.
No, it's the fact that issues #3 & 4, rather than not mentioning the Discord problem and leaving open the possibility that they happen before the comics started, do mention it, quite noticeable, and then proceed to ignore it. And while I can see them tying this into being "actually" relevant down the line, I can't see it being done in a way that benefits or justifies the choice. Polychromatic is right, this was always going to be the "main" content of the comics, they just started with an arc to suck us in.
As for the issues? Eh, they're not-aggravating filler otherwise, though the Cloudpuff one feels especially wasteful now we also have a TYT short of him going missing. I'll grant the written medium makes Pipp's dilemma here ring far truer then it would have shackled to the delivery system of TYT or MYM, and it's certainly among her better outings. But her character is still so shallow, and this isn't nearly insightful enough to give her depth to turn that around. It's no Suited for Success, anyway. But even with the dissonance between the Discord thing and this, they annoy far less than #2. Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. And these are better then some late-G4 comics, even if I still get no real personal enjoyment from them.
5685716
Oh yeah, G4 only pretended to have continuity as a marketing gimmick even before G5 happened. (That's a reference to the tie-in comics for season 7, because even in that case the show continued its usual ignorance of the comics).
Considering Haven's other correspondences with Zipp I'm pretty sure she's just looking for excuses to get Zipp back home.
Well there's a difference between not being crowned because you personally don't like the role and being denied the crown because of a lack of faith in competence.
I'm betting on three more filler issues for the remaining Mane 5 characters, and then another one or two where they essentially say to Discord, "Cheer up!" and he says, "Oh, okay." and then they have a party, without giving us any further info about what happened to Equestria.
ACAB
Particularly with a battery mentioned as dead twice over.
So where do they keep all those ponies? None of the three locations seem to be large enough for nearly that many, even assuming every single one of them follows Pipp. Maybe Bridlewood is the size of YNP and we just don't see much of it?
You are a brave and dedicated soul, and I recognize your sacrifice.
5685716
Yeah, remove mentions of Discord or substitute it with something else and it'll work fine as a standalone episode/comic.