I have two versions of the same story. What should I do? · 1:20am May 24th, 2022
Version 1:
Celestia was still in recovery from the banishment of her sister. Despite the protests of her caretakers, she visited the spot at the haunted Castle of the Two Sisters where Nightmare Moon first struck her down a year ago on the Nightmare Night.
Upon landing, the ground beneath her hooves gave way and she fell to the soft matter below. “Rotting mattresses?” She quickly jumped out to escape the stench. “Why would anypony put a bunch of mattresses under the spot where Nightmare Moon struck me down?”
She gasped. A stream of tears burst down her face. “Every Nightmare Night, she pranked me, but last year I thought it was real! She was Nightmare Moon at the time! She was…” The Princess crumpled on the ground under the weight of the truth. “Luna!”
The realization of what she had done gave birth to regret that would haunt her until the end of her days.
Debilitated, she would be forever incapable of any action, letting her students wage all the battles in her steed.
All the while, the mare on the moon kept repeating the words she had hoped Celestia's ears would receive, “It was merely a prank. It was merely a prank…”
And after the return of the mare from the moon, Luna too would avoid conflict and rather sleep over any major event than risk being misunderstood again.
Version 2:
There was a cave-in at the Castle of Three Sisters and a pony got trapped in the hole. Celestia was called in because she knew all the traps of the castle. Starswirl the Bearded came with her; more for emotional support than the need, for she had not yet recovered from the banishment of her sister.
When Celestia arrived, she shuddered upon seeing the spot where the hole was. “There was no trap here. ‘Tis the spot where Nightmare Moon struck me down a year ago on the Nightmare Night.”
A voice called out from the hole. “Not to pressure anypony, but I’m soaking in rot down here.”
Celestia levitated him out of the hole and brushed a hoof on his coat, collecting the soft, moldy material. “Starswirl, hypothetically speaking, if there were a bunch of mattresses buried here, would that leave behind something like this?”
He used his magic to analyze the matter. “Indeed. You are correct. But how did you know? Why would anypony put a bunch of mattresses under the very spot where Nightmare Moon struck you down?”
A stream of tears burst down Celestia’s face. “Every year she pranked me, but last year I thought it was real! She was Nightmare Moon at the time. She was…”
“Celestia?” Starswirl looked at her with concern in his eyes.
Celestia turned to him with a gaze of desperation. “The recall spell! Did you teach it to Luna?”
“Only the first part. She rescheduled my lesson about circumventing the star alignment requirement for the spell to work. She said something about needing more time to prepare a darkly prank.”
“No!” screamed Celestia and crumpled under the weight of the truth. “The stars won’t be aligned for the next thousand years!”
I don't like killing, but just know you'll make me kill one of them.
*takes a knife
Say it. Which one of my babies do you want me to kill?
i like version 2 better but they are both great :)
5659550
*grips the knife tighter
So, you're saying I should destroy version 1?
Or should I attempt a chimera third version by trying to merge both versions?
5659569
Well I like the second one more because you added starswirl to it
I think I know what I must do now.
Version 1, we had some good times together. I even entered a contest with you. However, now is the time for you to die. 5659605 wills your demise.
Kill version 2
Now I'm confused.
There's only one way to settle this.
*throws the knife in the middle of the ring
5659624 5659605 Fight! Fight! Fight!
5659624
Why kill version 2?
Shots fired!
How will you respond to 5659733's provocation, 5659624?
5659744
Choose a Celestia who is depressed enough not to fight with a Luna who is traumatic enough not to be able to laugh anymore .
Or the second version that will ... somewhere . And in addition it has StarWirl minus Luna in the synopsis .
Version 1 🔪 =>Version 2
5659754 Well, in both versions Celestia had sent Luna to the moon. In neither version does Celestia continue to fight. Also, nopony is laughing in either. In both versions, Luna is stuck on the moon.
The second one does have Starswirl the Bearded, but is that a bad thing?
Oh, and these are actual stories; they aren't synopses.
5659733 Will you not stand up for version 2?
5659754
starswirl being there adds someone for celestia to talk to when she realizes what happened instead of her just breaking down and not doing nothing except crying
I like one but the extra dialogue in two is also nice. The dialogue adding more depth. I'd say trim the fat on both and combine them.
Oh, we have a proponent for a chimera join the fight!
5659818 5659754 How will you two react to this new provocation? 5659899 is going against everything you stand for. Are you just going to take it?
Fight! Fight! Fight!
5659913
We're not gonna bring Starwill back to make that sentence true.
She made an orbital shot with her sister as a projectile, should not be surprised that she finds herself alone.
Let her suffer alone for her stupidity.
And for version 2, she can't come back because she doesn't know a spell... Die.
5659998 Those are very good arguments.
5659899 5659818 Are you two ready to admit defeat yet? Surely, under the weight of the arguments, you have no other choice but to kneel and admit that you were wrong about everything.
I'm not much of a fighter. I depress my enemies 'till they "take care" of themselves.
5659998 You're in for it now! 5660039 is going to use emo tactics against you.
I wonder, though. will this lead to the breaking point? Will you take back all your arguments in defeat?
5660040
I await the conclusion.
But killed Starwill....stabbed version 2 is the right choice. No need to add it when you already have Celestia and Luna managed. Not counting that Starwill later sealed Stygan.
5660614 Starswirl does give the reader an indication that this was a millennium ago. He also confirmed that it was merely a prank. Other than that, he really doesn't serve much of a purpose.