decade · 3:35am May 21st, 2022
hi.
I've been sitting here trying to write this for about a day now, and nothing I put down seems good enough. I am writing this because today marks my ten year anniversary of creating my account on this site. I am writing this entirely for the 14-year-old who did that, on this day, because otherwise I'd just be writing for the void, which one could argue is all we really do, ever. But I digress.
I think I'm struggling so much because to write this is to force myself to go back into the headspace I occupied ten years ago. Which is the last thing I'd like to do. It wasn't exactly a fun time for me. I remember hating being 14, like all 14-year-olds do. I remember desperately wanting to fit into something, like all teenagers do. I remember never feeling good enough, like all of us do. I really thought I'd grow out of those feelings.
A year later, or maybe it was two years later, I was having a bad day. This is an understatement. I was having the kind of bad day wherein I decided to walk from my house to the parking garage downtown and jump off it. To get there, I had to walk through a playground, empty save for a father pushing his daughter on a swing. As I passed by them I overheard that she was recapping to him the latest episode of what else except MLP:FIM. I thought to myself: that's so funny, I've got to tell the skype group about that when I get home. And then I realized: Oh. I can't do that. I'm not going back home.
Obviously, I didn't jump off the parking garage. I went on the swings myself for a little bit, then returned home. At certain other points between then and now I wouldn't agree with this statement, but I'm glad I did.
This site, these people, each vote and comment and favorite and follow and review and meme, made me feel cool. Which is quite a feat for a 14-year-old. And quite a feat for one of the most infamous fandoms on the internet.
There is a lot more I am feeling right now but I don't think I can materialize it into words. Above all, I am grateful for everyone who put up with my teenage insanity. I am grateful to still be here to write this, ten years later. I am grateful to have had more than just a void to pour myself into. And if no one ever reads this, that is good enough.
-plu
wow
I'm glad you're still here
>not plu
>signs blog as plu
🤔
Just think, on top of all that, you outlasted skype.