Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #6 · 6:00pm Apr 11th, 2022
Hitch: "Mares and stallions, I present to you: McSnips-A-Lot. The true protagonist of Generation Five. Capable of quality cushion plumping, model carnage, and gives a smashing manecut. Truly a fun personality destined to win the hearts of millions."
Nah, but in all seriousness, I quite like the crab. The seagulls got more gags in the film, but he’s certainly getting the limelight as far as critters go here. The animals transitioned smoothly to this art style, even if Cloudpuff isn’t quite as fluffy. Pity we can’t say the same for the ponies’ new designs. Some of those facial poses and angles…
I’ve been thinking a bit more about some of the writing issues in Tell Your Tale, specifically how episodes are either too compressed for the runtime (the first episode), too simplified (the second one), or try to pad out a non-structured conflict to fill up 300 seconds (the third one). It’s a common addressal in the fandom that you just can’t do much with five minutes. Which, to me, points to modern animation writers being far less succinct at effective compression. The great cartoon shorts all handled themselves in seven minutes, and so did many shows in the early days of Cartoon Network (heck, even Disney’s 90’s animated films understood compression better than more modern CG animated films, often ten minutes longer and far less economical and more messy in story and structure). The difference there, of course, is they were written by the artists boarding them, and when they weren’t, they were still produced under the same roof (overseas production excepted), allowing for back-and-forth and writing changes when timing the animatic.
As you all know, MLP has never had that, the writing was locked in LA before DHX got their hands on it (not to say changes weren’t made, a few episodes did emergency rewrite on bits Hasbro felt weren’t working, but that was the exception). They were good enough at their job and working with 22-minute episodes that it worked out, thankfully. I bring this up because in Tell Your Tale, there’s a disconnect between the writing and animation, with many ideas and gags as-written failing to land because the comic timing and direction just isn’t there. This isn’t just because of the strained budget, resources and artstyle – the inability to tinker with the script amplifies issues that would certainly be caught. Consider how Izzy’s sleep spells in the 4th episode have no bearing on the actual plot: we could have opened on her using their things in the morning and have the story play out identically, and get more out of the conflict’s middle, make the deception and gift thread more organic. And were they able to suggest and make changes like that, they would. Of course, these are produced dirt n’ quick, it’d never happen, but it does get one thinking.
Eh, much of a muchness. Different episodes will have different writing issues going forward, I’m sure, all stemming from not writing for the runtime correctly in one of many possible ways. Others may handle it right, if still hamstrung by baked-in stylistic flaws that make the end result glaze over inoffensively and fade quickly from the mind. Case-by-case basis with the overall effect differing largely in incidentals.
Though on the note of adapting franchises into different formats, I saw Sonic the Hedgehog 2 yesterday. It’s one of those sequels where the same broad strengths and weakness of the first film remain largely the same – there’s a mechanical transparentness to the mix and switch between snark and sentiment throughout, and it does leave the jokes, and their intended response, so telegraphed that thinking about them or remembering them is beside the point. Ditto for the emotional beats, and the end result defangs the snark and leaves the family movie warmth rather rote. But though it’s bland, it’s not shrill; though it’s obvious, it’s not obnoxious, and the jokes have a comforting cheesy quality even when they don’t land.
That said, it is a better film than the first, which feels fitting for a sequel to a video game adaption – what other medium is so suited to sequels replicating the prior instalment but improving details at the margins? The adventure plot has stakes the film believes in far more; it hits an excellent balance of incorporating a fair share of lore from the games into a new storyline (with tons of great nods – my favourite being Sonic’s entrance into an underwater temple mirroring the on-rails not-controlled-by-the-player start to some levels in the Genesis/Mega Drive classics) while making it stand on its own merits and be accessible to all (all the more remarkable given how this franchise drowned in new characters during the 2000s that no one cared about – lord forbid Big the Cat or Vector the Crocodile show up on film); it focuses far more on established characters, with Sonic and Robotnik being joined by Tails and Knuckles. Inadvertently making much of this a cartoon with Jim Carrey.
And it’s just a better character story, getting more use out of the cute designs of Sonic and co. Though the quality of the CG cast and their compositing continued to be inconsistent and wobbly, often not quite there on the sets, which is not as problematic here as they interact with humans and real sets outside of Carrey far less. Plus, this gets to share in the benefit of sequels in hitting the ground running. Though that two-hour runtime is really odd, with a wedding subplot getting something like three times the time it needs (unless it’s setting up plot points for future sequels, which doesn’t excuse it); the film’s stamina definitely starts to leak towards the end. And the 90’s energy and attitude remains a breath of fresh air in today's state of modern blockbusters. Though if the franchise continues adding more characters and elements, MCU-style…
In the end, though, it’s a generic but pleasant action-adventure family comedy, and we can always do with more of those these days.
M’kay, enough of things other than horse words. Bit of a short week this one, though after almost forty-eight thousand words of Ponyfic last week, it’s okay to have a lighter week, with seven short fics and only one that’s longer than 2.7K. I do need to start having more fics in the 10-25K range in these things for sure. Just happens a decent share of the early entries were short fics, and I can hardly let them go unpublished, can I? My backlog is also starting to shrink faster than I’ve been filling it – Pokémon: Legends Arceus and its various postgame activities have proved rather engrossing. Probably best to start slowing down there, I’ve got until Scarlet/Violet in November to 100% the thing.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
The Friendship Express Dilemma by hamster wizard
Supersedure by Zontan
Bail by Karnagar
A Queen Sized Apology by twilightsparkle3562
Trade of the Trix by FanOfMostEverything
Familial Words by TheAncientPolitzanian
Familial Bonds by TheAncientPolitzanian
Weekly Word Count: 18,135 Words
The Friendship Express Dilemma by hamster wizard
Genre: Comedy (w/Death)
Twilight, Applejack, Starlight Glimmer
2,370 Words
February 2013
Thought experiments are the worst. On top of being time wasters and migraine-inducing, they feel designed to make even saints look like demons. Yet Twilight, being, well, Twilight, decides in her infinite wisdom to subject her friends to the most infamously unfair thought experiment of them all.
This fic is basically Twilight running her friends through the trolley problem, the age-old theory of whether one does nothing when a train is headed towards several trussed-up victims (in this case, five), or pulls a lever diverging it onto a parallel track with only one victim. And Twilight getting increasingly frustrated first at them asking logical questions about ways around the moral dilemma, and then anger all around rising when she adds to the scenario by changing the identities of the ponies therein, while leaving her answer the same. And feeling her friends’ disgust at this is unfair. Basically, Twilight has gone round the “Lesson Zero” bend one too many times, and the fic only leans more into this as it goes.
This is really only for a select type of person who likes black, dark comedy, and for the rest of us, it’s likely to just frustrate. It certainly isn’t proposing anything radical in the trolley problem and the approach to it, though there are occasional surprises in specific characters’ reactions to it. The fic is pretty plain otherwise, not much to say.
Otherwise, it’s an okay diversion competent enough to be worth it for the curious, though I think those that aren’t curious are likely to just get angered or frustrated, and can rest easy in leaving this be.
Rating: Passable
Supersedure by Zontan
Genre: Slice of Life (really Drama, though)
Chrysalis, Changelings, Thorax, Ocellus
4,811 Words
September 2021
Being a changeling means life is hard. There’s never enough love to go around. Yet one changeling finds they have an unusual knack for syphoning traces of love from their more ignorant fellows. Against their better judgement, they find themselves doing this more and more, in the process learning more about what makes both a changeling tic, and their Queen.
Told entirely through reflected narration, there are really two great strengths of this fic. One being reconciling how the named changeling, with their gentle disposition, actually survives prior to the hive’s reformation. Truth be told, this doesn’t really build on their canon personality, or even mesh with it all that convincingly (especially if one considers timeline and age). But I’m inclined to overlook that, because it’s got the goods as an intense character-driven piece (especially if one considers a certain scene in a certain late-season episode after reading this fic). How can one be kind when ruled by such an unbenevolent despot as Chrysalis? The answer isn’t a happy one for them, but neither is it fully bleak either.
The other main selling point is the changeling world-building. Of course, any changeling fic needs this to truly stick in the mind, and while I wouldn’t call this the best I’ve seen, there’s a remarkable level of ingenuity achieved through the precise tonal balance of cruelty and kindness present here. Even the familiar ideas are somewhat freshened, while the new ones sparkle. Apologies for being vague, but as is always the case, these ideas are best experienced in the context of the story.
If this is not a top-tier changeling fic, it’s still a really solid one I whole-heartedly recommend as an instant read. Just don’t take too much love!
Rating: Really Good
Bail by Karnagar
Genre: Comedy/Romance/Slice of Life
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack
2,020 Words
June 2013Reread
Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Everything was going nice and smooth for Rarity, relaxing nicely after finishing a commission, when what should be delivered to her, but a request for bail from one of her friends? As she sets out to rescue her friend and find out what happened to land her in this mess, more pieces of the puzzle fall into place.
It’s amazing what a difference a good reading can make – I thoroughly enjoyed the stellar voice performances in Scribbler’s take, yet found the story as written, after a quick read of it, somewhat lacking in comparison. The beginning part, until Rarity is on her way, is a bit stilted, and oddly leans into her flattering, flirty side in a way that isn’t relevant again. After the arrival at the station, the comedy ramps up enough to make it more enjoyable, and it’s certainly not pulling its punches too much. Yet it’s still somewhat undercooked, at least in the actual construction of the writing. This matters largely because of a tease of an ending, where just as it gets to the part the description was teasing about, it cuts off, withholding information that promised to be delectable.
It’s still enough of a solid, funny read that I liked it, even if the reality of how much better it could have been is unavoidable.
Rating: Decent
A Queen Sized Apology by twilightsparkle3562
Genre: Slice of Life
Queen Novo, Twilight, Princess Skystar, Celestia, Luna, Cadance
1,392 Words
November 2017Reread
Novo and Skystar aren't tagged, in favour of the 'Other' character tag, likely because tags for them didn't exist when this fic was published, and the author has neglected to retroactively update this story’s tags.
Queen Novo is wrought with guilt over how she turned Twilight away in her time of need, even banishing her and her friends. With her daughter’s help, she concludes she has to apologise for her actions and make things right. Little knowing she’s not the only one feeling this way.
Writing a review for a fic this blandly done is tough, irrespective of its short length. There just really isn’t anything here, compounded by how forced and stilted both the dialogue, character thoughts and even the flow from beat to beat is. It’s not so rough as to feel like it’s coming from a first-timer, but it’s definitely a quickly rattled-off one.
I do want to highlight the shortcomings of both the dialogue (there isn’t a single character who’s choice of words isn’t so off that I couldn’t hear them saying it at least sometimes) and the logic, both in the distance between locales and the practicalities of the setup in the 2nd half. Pretty typical force-the-fic-in-the-desired-direction stuff, notable only for being less bland in how it is lacking thanthen everything else.
It’s a dull, processed, stilted little scene, without even any real emotional power due to how little goodwill it’s maintained by the end from being so un-involving. Having a good heart and being sincere and sweet isn't nothing, but it's not nearly enough. Few fics fit this rating better.
Rating: Weak
Trade of the Trix by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Slice of Life
Twilight, Trixie
2,520 Words
February 2020Reread
When Twilight notices a logical discrepancy, she cannot just let it be, dismiss it as unimportant, and move on. No, she must know what it is, even if this one means approaching Trixie to ask about it. Even though it concerns Trixie herself. Namely, the large gap in her magical prowess between her first show in Ponyville and the mare who recently struggled to perform simple spells under Starlight’s tutelage.
I’ve never given too much thought to the discrepancy between Trixie’s magical powers at different points in the show (though I’m aware many have, and that prior to “Magic Duel” most fanfics wrote her with near-Twilight power levels), but like many other things that changed when Josh Haber took over, I just wrote it off as poor writing and didn’t even bother trying to reconcile the two. I feel justified in this, given how many elements are irreconcilable with each other (they contradicted The Journal of the Two Sisters in “Shadow Play” and then went back to adhering to it on “Horse Play”, for starters).
On that front, this fic proves, as if it was needed, why FoME is such a great author, crafting one of the best “actually, this is a possible reason why” explanations for such things, and while it’s not something we could ever see in the show, it feels 100% right to the characters and the world, such that I had no trouble buying into it. Even if one doesn’t accept it as their head canon, this feels right.
That’s just the conceptual triumph of this fic. Every inch of the rest of it is suffused with calm, relaxed, light writing that just breathes like silk. Every word out of Trixie’s mouth, how she’s as razor-sharp in her observation and wit as Rarity, how she calls Twilight out on a lot of her tendencies, how Twilight holds her temper in, how explanations and lore and world-building are dropped left and right like it’s nothing… it’s all done so well, just another day for FoME. And then the fic wraps up with a nice mutual point of agreement for the two that teases some common ground they can agree on while leaving their relationship still prickly, AND ends it all with a perfectly timed joke. Speaking of, the humour in the whole thing is really good. Background information in the Author’s Note makes it all the better.
For a fic that has a pretty simple, modest goal and a very domestic scope, it’s by and large the best version of itself it could have been. Even for FoME, this is a strong outing. And coming from someone from whom any Season 6-9 locked-fic (as opposed to one set there but which can be imaged elsewhere in the show’s timeline) faces an uphill battle due to having to reconcile… “choices” made in canon, that’s high praise.
Rating: Excellent
Familial Words by TheAncientPolitzanian
Genre: Slice of Life
Twilight, Spike, Starlight Glimmer
2,744 Words
April 2019Reread
Following the surprise outcome of the Sibling Supreme, Twilight and Spike return back to Ponyville. In the midst of telling Starlight what transpired, a pressing question sheds light on their relationship, and what label it best deserves.
To paraphrase Robert Worshow, “A ghost reads Ponyfic. The reviewer must be honest enough to admit that he is that ghost.”* So in that spirit, I lead with my bias, in both directions: the Twilight-Spike relationship in Friendship is Magic is among the things I most personally treasure, when it’s done right (generally, in the show, the success ratio is erratic if the episode lacks a writing credit for M.A. Larson). When “Sparkle’s Seven” came out, I was ecstatic to finally get something of a confirmation as to their relationship. Of course, at the time I was far kinder to Season 9 than it deserved. Reflection and a rewatch has confirmed for me that it’s a pretty phoned-in element in execution (it is an episode by committee, and bless Cathy Wesluck for asking for that element, but little in that episode coheres together). More problematic is the hurdle of accepting this now after nothing was done with it for so long.
As for this fic, it’s a credible effort in reconciling the pieces of this aftermath. There’s some amusing jokes, and this is sincere and heartfelt. Frankly, though, it’s all surface-level stuff quite easy to extrapolate from watching the episode (a little more subtlety and implying things without saying them wouldn’t go amiss). This leaves the only talking point being deconstructing the “Twilight as Spike’s mom” headcanon. Which, yeah, fair enough, but it’s nothing one hasn’t seen in many fics before, and I do not feel obliged to be extra charitable just because this one has canon backing. The comments stirred up some good debate about child psychology and imprinting for sure, but none of that’s really in the fic, it just feels like it is based on the story’s parameters.
It’s a pleasant read, and a sweet one too. Just a pretty anonymous one. If you’re as partial to Twilight/Spike relationship stories as myself, you’ll find yourself obliged to check this out, I’m sure. The epitome of a fine fic.
Rating: Decent
* The original quote is "A man goes to the movies. The critic must be honest enough to admit that he is that man."
Familial Bonds by TheAncientPolitzanian
Genre: Slice of Life
Twilight, Spike, Twilight Velvet, Night Light
2,278 Words
October 2019Sequel to Familial Words
Reread
Following on from their discussion about their sibling relationship, Spike is struck with the realisation that perhaps he’d better settle things with the other members of his family. As he and Twilight ride a train to Canterlot, his mind is filled with anxiety about how this might go.
Less a true sequel than a follow-up chapter published separately, this is basically more of the same, with Spike and Twilight’s parents warmly welcoming. The Author’s Notes confirm it was an extra chapter at first, but they felt the ballooning justified it being separate. If so, it didn’t pay off; if anything, the decision to make it separate brought consequences, with a lengthy recap and prolonged setup until taking almost half of a 2.2K fic (much of this would have not happened were it just a 2nd chapter, no doubt). Possibly this matters less if one doesn’t read them back-to-back as I did, but takes the five-month gap between their publication. And the writing is even more telly, sometimes to detrimental effect, and not just in the recapping either – there’s often superfluous description of physical actions too (and believe me, with this being something I still haven’t fully excused from my own writing muscles, I’d know).
So far I’m described a substantially weaker fic, and the second half picks it up a bit – the advantage of using less explored characters like Twilight’s parents means plain yet sweet characterisation is more agreeable, and on that front, this does the job (mostly with Velvet, though the more wild side of her is understandably absent here). But it’s still just a brief talk in a train station ending on the three ponies and one dragon setting out for a fun-filled day. Only so much to say.
This has much of the same strengths as the first fic, and the basic sentiment and warmth too. But the slightness of it, the weird padding in both info and prose, and how basically nothing happens (there’s no conflict at all) mark it as a lesser effort. Still close enough that for most readers, it’ll be a nice little bonus.
Rating: Passable
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 1
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 0
Decent: 2
Passable: 2
Weak: 1
Bad: 0
I feel kinda silly. I thought Hitch was calling the crab Miss Snips-a-Lot.
I'm honored by the glowing praise and thoroughly in agreement on the procedural issues underlying some problems with Tell Your Tale. I hadn't known much about how these shorts were being scripted, but given that, it's no wonder the timing's off.
Man, between this, the Season 9 aside, and "90% of G5 fanfics are shitty fluff (especially when they touch upon G4)", you're really trying your damndest to jumpstart my self-doubt, huh?
:P
In all seriousness, I get it. Admittedly, I'm a bit bummed you weren't all that high on Bonds — I considered it my best story from a technical standpoint for quite some time (a take I’m 99% sure will be eyeroll-inducing) — but yeah, it's far from the most substantial thing out there. For that matter, I wrote Words in, like, half a week, back when I still had the reckless enthusiasm to not overthink the process to death. I'm still proud of them and how they turned out, but I agree that they may start unraveling upon further inspection.
Sorry I near-singlehandedly mutilated this week's average.
The top two, I've already read. Good stories!
I know I am a little late to the party, but I never had the slightest problem with this, actually. Trixie is a stage magician; I always figured her feats in Boast Busters were accomplished through trickery and special effects. I figured a major and intended point of the episode was that when Trixie is up against a situation requiring 'real' magic, off her stage in an environment she doesn't control, she's not nearly so impressive. In fact, if she was also good at 'real' magic, she'd be weirdly hypercompetent. This leaves me kind of confused that the 'fic takes a different approach. Is this a common thing? I guess I learn something new about fanon every day!