I’m having writer’s block on what to do with the speeches for Gallus’ funeral. I’ve already completed the speeches for both Smolder and Ocellus, but I still need help with Sandbar, Yona, Silverstream, the teachers and Grampa Gruff. If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
I need help. I'm writing a new story that's not getting good ratings and I want a proofreader's opinion on it so I can fix any flaws I made. Story is below:
5649620 That, and I'm also not happy with you and the others beating the living daylight out of Chrysalis whether or not she was happy your lover was killed!
5649714 You're lucky she didn't escape or was able to fight you back, or Equestria would be in danger right now or you'd be dead and there'd be no one to blame but yourself because you've decided to beat her so mercilessly out in the open where she could have easily escaped.
5649736 That wasn't enough! Chrysalis could have found a way to break the shield, then what would have happened? Honestly, I don't really see why I should feel sorry for you. In some sort of way, you are the real enemy and more of a threat than Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow ever were!
5649776 Smolder: One, Cozy Glow is NOT a threat! She is a manipulated, brain damaged child who was extorted by Tirek! Two, how are we more evil than Chrysalis??? Because we wouldn’t allow her to get away with badmouthing a child in the grave???
5649807 Well, you could have just walked away from her instead of engaging into that fight with her. But instead you have revealed your true colors and beaten her so mercilessly with no shame, and many considered Cozy a threat after the whole draining magic incident and wanted her to suffer and you didn't even cared what she have gone through and it does not matter what happened between her and Tirek either!
5649872 Smolder: Chrysalis wasn't just beaten up for talking down to Spike. She's done a number of crimes that she's managed to escape punishment from. Spike's death was just final straw. Twelve counts of ponynapping, several hundred counts of brainwashing, the list goes on and on. As for Cozy, yes, what we did to her was a total lack of judgement and we should've stopped and thought for a second about what we were about to do. I can tell you right now, you weren't the only one unhappy with Cozy's punishment. That's why Discord did this whole plan. To give three creatures a second chance, in addition to giving Twilight a confidence boost. Yes, actually, it does matter what happened between Cozy and Tirek. If it weren't for him, Cozy would have received the help she needed a lot sooner.
5649900 WRONG!!!! Discord was not trying to help them, he wanted to set them up to their doom, he knew how beyond saving Chrysalis and Tirek were, and he didn't even bothered trying to help Cozy until it was nearly too late! Also, he mainly has caused Spike's death, and don't go saying he didn't know what would happen, that is not an excuse! You must be very crazy and stupid if you think he deserves to be forgiven!
Smolder: We didn't know Cozy was nearing the edge until after that first dungeon visit. As for Discord, he's earned his forgiveness by building that museum (need I remind you your buddy, Raven Inkwell, openly forgave him during the opening day), apologizing to Cozy's face (unlike Tirek), and let's also not forget Spike used one of his last breaths to tell the Mane Six to forgive him because he knew Discord would never do something like this on purpose. Need I remind you the only reason that Spike died was because of a book Chrysalis and Tirek stole during the Summer Sun Setback? If it weren't for that, I'd bet at least three-quarters of the damage done to Equestria would've never happened and Spike would still be alive.
Nice, but you still had him killed off in your story and I really didn't like the outcome of it.
5649605
Smolder: Wait, let me guess. You aren’t happy about Discord being forgiven...
5649620
That, and I'm also not happy with you and the others beating the living daylight out of Chrysalis whether or not she was happy your lover was killed!
5649706
Smolder: She asked for it. There's only so many times you can poke the bear before it attacks you.
5649714
You're lucky she didn't escape or was able to fight you back, or Equestria would be in danger right now or you'd be dead and there'd be no one to blame but yourself because you've decided to beat her so mercilessly out in the open where she could have easily escaped.
5649733
Smolder: Celestia put up a forcefield so she couldn't escape.
5649736
That wasn't enough! Chrysalis could have found a way to break the shield, then what would have happened? Honestly, I don't really see why I should feel sorry for you. In some sort of way, you are the real enemy and more of a threat than Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow ever were!
5649776
Smolder: One, Cozy Glow is NOT a threat! She is a manipulated, brain damaged child who was extorted by Tirek! Two, how are we more evil than Chrysalis??? Because we wouldn’t allow her to get away with badmouthing a child in the grave???
5649807
Well, you could have just walked away from her instead of engaging into that fight with her. But instead you have revealed your true colors and beaten her so mercilessly with no shame, and many considered Cozy a threat after the whole draining magic incident and wanted her to suffer and you didn't even cared what she have gone through and it does not matter what happened between her and Tirek either!
5649872
Smolder: Chrysalis wasn't just beaten up for talking down to Spike. She's done a number of crimes that she's managed to escape punishment from. Spike's death was just final straw. Twelve counts of ponynapping, several hundred counts of brainwashing, the list goes on and on. As for Cozy, yes, what we did to her was a total lack of judgement and we should've stopped and thought for a second about what we were about to do. I can tell you right now, you weren't the only one unhappy with Cozy's punishment. That's why Discord did this whole plan. To give three creatures a second chance, in addition to giving Twilight a confidence boost. Yes, actually, it does matter what happened between Cozy and Tirek. If it weren't for him, Cozy would have received the help she needed a lot sooner.
5649900
WRONG!!!! Discord was not trying to help them, he wanted to set them up to their doom, he knew how beyond saving Chrysalis and Tirek were, and he didn't even bothered trying to help Cozy until it was nearly too late! Also, he mainly has caused Spike's death, and don't go saying he didn't know what would happen, that is not an excuse! You must be very crazy and stupid if you think he deserves to be forgiven!
Smolder: We didn't know Cozy was nearing the edge until after that first dungeon visit. As for Discord, he's earned his forgiveness by building that museum (need I remind you your buddy, Raven Inkwell, openly forgave him during the opening day), apologizing to Cozy's face (unlike Tirek), and let's also not forget Spike used one of his last breaths to tell the Mane Six to forgive him because he knew Discord would never do something like this on purpose. Need I remind you the only reason that Spike died was because of a book Chrysalis and Tirek stole during the Summer Sun Setback? If it weren't for that, I'd bet at least three-quarters of the damage done to Equestria would've never happened and Spike would still be alive.