Unused Season 5 MLP Episodes – Part 2 (Alternate Map Episodes)

Spike: "This thing again, huh? Going right in with the episodes locked to a formula, I see."
Applejack: "Wow Spike, that's mighty insightful of ya. How'd you deduce that so quick?"
Twilight: Well, I'd like to hope that nopony, and nodragon, could be my Number One Assistant for that many years and not pick up a thing or two about narrative structure! Or foreshadowing.
Spike: "Actually, I just read the blog title."
[everypony except Pinkie stares at Spike, gobsmacked. Pinkie slides over to Spike.]
Pinkie (stage-whispering): "Trust me, I'm glad you've picked up on some of my meta-breaking abilities, but it's wise to not flaunt that in front of ponies who can't comprehend the 4th wall. Keep it to moments when you're alone, or where it still makes sense in context."

Part 1 can be read here, documenting single-paragraph episode ideas from Jayson Thiessen and Jim Miller.

I'll assume you've read the prior post, or are willing to grasp the context as you go. No need to redo the lengthy introduction, let's dive on in!

So, other than the episode ideas by Jayson Thiessen and Jim Miller, our good old directors from up at DHX, Season 5 also had ten other episodes that went unused, only one of which progressed further than a Premise (that being "Rainbow Confession", M.A. Larson's courtroom drama episode which got resurrected into a different form as "Rarity Investigates!").* Since these episodes come from established writers who had all already written for Friendship Is Magic, and usually fill a full page (sometimes more!) we can properly get an idea of how they would have played out on a scene-by-scene basis. Thus, these promise to be more exciting than the episodes last week.

* There is arguably an 11th episode, "Changing of the Guard", which went through four different outlined plots before it was scrapped in favour of "Brotherhooves Social". But as it's not included in the Rejected Scripts folder, I omitted it from the count. It will be covered in a later blog.

As "Rarity Investigates" will get its own solo blog, given it progressed to a 1st draft script and leaves far more to talk about, that leaves nine other episodes to discuss. I'll cover them three at a time, in themes. First up are three Map episodes, which, funnily enough, all had one or more ponies sent by the Cutie Map on missions. I figured these would make for a good starting point, given two of the three we got in Season 5 – "Made in Manehattan" and "The Hooffields and the Mccolts" – are regarded as being mostly dull and forgettable, though for largely different reasons. What better time to see what episodes were so problematic, and why, as to be jettisoned for them?

Griffon Chore: Written by Amy Keating Rogers

Gilda: What is Dweeb McDweebface happy about this time?
Rainbow Dash: Finding unused episodes. Picking screenshots that kind-of fit these episodes. Pulling wacky faces. Or something else. Honestly, it's best not to ask.

This Premise is dated to November 26th, 2013. As this is a map episode with griffons in the title, don't get any ideas: the Premise for "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone", initially called "Griffon Grove", wasn't written and submitted until January 16th, 2014, nearly two months later. So the griffon map episode we got didn't start gestating until this one had been written and rejected. Almost certainly as a response. However, the two share very little in common, as you'll see.

Ever since the appearance of the Cutie Mark Map of Friendship, Rainbow Dash has been chomping at the bit for her Cutie Mark to flash up so she could go save the day. After all, what other pony is more suited to help other ponies? Especially if it just happens to be a super action-packed, high-flying, tail-spinning lesson in friendship! (Great place for a Rainbow Dash “I Am Totally Awesome/Make My Mark on the Map” Song!) Rainbow is biting her hooves, hovering over the map, just itching for some action when suddenly, a Cutie Mark projects out of the map right over Cloudsdale! Perfect! But it’s... Fluttershy’s? What the hay?

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy fly off to Cloudsdale to find out what friendship issue needs to be solved. Rainbow figures it’s got to be something simple like a bunch of baby Pegasi need nurturing or some butterflies sprained a wing or something super sappy like that. But when they arrive, they discover that the Griffons are infringing upon Cloudsdale’s airspace. The Wonderbolts are primed and ready to defend their borders. Rainbow is beside herself. Why in the world would the Map call up Fluttershy? When the Wonderbolts are prepared to go kick some Griffon tail and Rainbow Dash is in the Wonderbolt Reserves? Hello? This mission has Rainbow Dash written all over it, if she says so herself! The thing is, Fluttershy kind of agrees. She’d be just as happy if Rainbow took the lead on this task and confronted the Griffons, especially since Griffons tend to be so terribly gruff. But Twilight put on her “Princess hat” and steps in, reminding them that the map said that Fluttershy needs to deal with this friendship issue, not Rainbow.

So Fluttershy flies into Griffon Territory where she meets with Gregor, the Leader of the Griffons and Gilda’s father. She does her very best to kindly negotiate with Gregor the Griffon, asking him to please move the Griffons out of the Cloudsdale airspace. But Gregor is grumbly, grumpy, and generally a grouch. He has absolutely no interest in listening to some sweet-natured, mild-mannered Pegasus that speaks so softly he can barely hear her. Seeing that the Griffons are not budging an inch, Rainbow Dash is getting terribly frustrated and desperately wants to charge in with the Wonderbolts to push the Griffons out of Cloudsdale’s skies. She’s sure Fluttershy is trying, but she’s just not right for the job. So Rainbow starts rallying the troops, getting them all hyped up.

What Rainbow Dash doesn’t realize is that, as hard as this is for her, Fluttershy isn’t giving up. After all, her special skill is working with animals and Gregor is just a really big animal. But she knows one Griffon that would have information on Gregor: his daughter Gilda. And while her last encounter with Gilda was less than friendly (and actually a bit frightening), Fluttershy musters up her courage and asks Gilda if there is anything her dad likes that could help Fluttershy deal with him.

Gilda’s a bit reluctant to help Fluttershy at first, but then she admits that her dad has been acting even more bad- tempered than the average Griffon. Plus, she really has no idea why he’s insisted on the Griffons going into the Pegasus airspace. That’s totally not cool. So, yeah, she’ll help Fluttershy. And she knows just what might get him to soften up a little. The two head off to hatch their plan, confident that they can come to a peaceful agreement with Gregor.

But just as Fluttershy is about to propose the Griffon/Pegsus Peace Treaty, Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts go in to attack Gregor and the Griffons! Fluttershy is completely flustered. What is Rainbow Dash doing? This was her task. Rainbow Dash retorts that this can’t be solved with Fluttershy’s whole “caring for animals” thing. It has to be solved with Rainbow Dash’s skill and means some awesome tail-kickin’ flying! But now Fluttershy is riled up (for Fluttershy). She is going to solve this her way! Telling the Wonderbolts to stop, please, she bravely makes her proposal to Gregor the Griffon.

“A pony who cares has been sent on this mission...to deal with the gruffness of Gregor the Griffon. Some others were sure that this pony would fail...and thought the solution was kicking some tail. But I’ve found that animals often attack...when they’re feeling quite hungry and just need a snack. So Gustav le Grand made your favorite éclair...Now kindly remove yourselves from Cloudsdale’s air.”

Suddenly the baker, Gustav le Grand flies up with Gregor’s favorite chocolate éclair. Upon eating it, Gregor’s demeanor suddenly changes and he thanks Fluttershy. In their negotiations, he admits that he has been a bit cranky and willingly removes the Griffons from Cloudsdale’s airspace. Rainbow Dash then apologizes to Fluttershy. With this being a prime opportunity for her to show off her special skills in awesome flying, she wasn’t willing to see that Fluttershy’s skills in caring would actually be better for everypony. Being a loyal friend needed to outweigh her desire to make her mark on the map. Fluttershy kindly accepts her friend’s apology. Though Rainbow Dash does have one question. Why was Fluttershy speaking in rhyme?

At the time this was written, the Premise for "The Cutie Map" was only three weeks old, so the writers were still exploring how to do these episodes at all. We can see that all over this episode, given it contradicts many tropes solidified in the first proper map episode we got. Namely, Twilight allowing herself to tag along, and Rainbow Dash too.* Which does make it more exciting in a way Map episodes usually aren't, shackled as they are to a formula that locks much of the structure of a 21-min episode.

* What's that? A Season 8 episode contracted earlier lore/character stances and did a 180 on Twilight's stated stance about only those called by the map going on map missions? You don't say…!

Of course, the above synopsis also contains the main conflict of "Made in Manehattan", that being a pony feeling they were the wrong choice to be called on a mission like this. While it's a little different, with Fluttershy getting over her hesitation quicker, and Dash's disbelief and jealousy at Fluttershy getting summoned forming much of the tension, it's definitely familiar. "Why wasn't I called?" would become a frequent crutch for map episodes, even if just as jokes at Twilight's expense.

There's elements of higher action/adventure too, something which kind-of survived to the actual griffon episode. Alongside, you know, the griffons. It's an interesting different take on Gilda coming back too, having her reconcile with Fluttershy, who she was especially harsh to. Though Pinkie makes more sense, given that conflict was the focal point of "Griffon the Brush Off". Still, any Fluttershy fans upset we never saw Gilda apologise to Fluttershy, here you go! And if the Gilda element seems to resolve quickly, it is a premise. Had this been expanded to an outline, this could have been spread across several scenes, possibly by much of the episode middle being of the griffons and Wonderbolts at a standstill until x o'clock or something. That's my first instinct. It's also noticeable how Twilight doesn't feature after the 1st act, meaning her role would have been expanded on later, or possibly she could have been left out altogether (granted, with Dash going along, the justification would be flimsy).

I'm sure Fluttershy fans would be quite happy to see her getting a "gentle assertive" episode, though we kind-of got that anyway in "Scare Master". Some of the lore here, like Gilda's dad, the griffons being more active and military-like, and a return from Gustav le Grand, is pretty cool, even if none of it is as individually awesome as the Arimaspi flashback.

Much like "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" itself, though, this does not seem to be an episode that plays to Amy Keating Rogers' strengths as a writer, with less opportunities for comedy, no Pinkie and no musical numbers (she wasn't supposed to be writing "Lost Treasure" at all, as a reminder, that only happened because of a scheduling conflict). It certainly could have been a fine episode, and there's enough to work with here. But even though I only feel the griffon map episode we got is just good, no better, and I'm no fan of Gilda, I'm not bothered much that this wasn't retained. I can see why, even if it's not nearly the nothingburger the elevator pitches we've already seen were.

And no, I don't really know what they were going for with Fluttershy rhyming at the end there either.

Prism Break: Written by Josh Haber

Vapor Trail: "Wait… Why am I here? A character-of-the-day present for a discussion that isn't about the episode they're featured in? That doesn't make any sense."
Rainbow Dash: "Yeah, about that… you may not have been created specifically for your episode."
Twilight: "I'd sit down if I were you."

This Premise is dated to January 14th, 2014, only two days before the Premise for "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" was submitted, meaning two map episodes were under Larson's consideration together. Also, the date comes halfway between Haber's 2nd draft of "Bloom and Gloom" (Jan 6th) and his Polish draft (Jan 20th). This actually fits, as edits usually slow to "only little things we have notes on" after the 2nd draft, so Haber would have had time to write this in between waiting for the last few notes on "Bloom and Gloom".

When the MAP calls Rainbow Dash to Cloudsdale, she and the rest of the Mane Six are hardly surprised. Whatever problem might be going on in the Pegasus city, Dash is clearly the only pony brave enough, fast enough, and all together awesome enough to handle it. But before she can leave, the map calls for a second pony to join her— Fluttershy.

Dash can’t understand how Fluttershy could possibly help her on her daring adventure in the sky, since her friend is more at home hanging out in the Everfree Forest with cuddly animals. Fluttershy isn’t sure herself and the two agree that Rainbow should take the lead.
In Cloudsdale, it doesn’t take long to figure out the problem. Production at the Rainbow Factory has fallen off dramatically. The two ponies recently promoted to head the Water and Light departments can’t seem to work together. The head of Water, Vapor Tail, isn’t sure any of the mist her department makes is really “Rainbow Quality” and worries she might never make one perfect drop, let alone a whole sky full. Foal Spectrum, on the other hand, only cares that her department make the shiniest, brightest, clearest light possible to fill the entire sky in all its unfiltered, blinding glory.

Dash decides that since she and Foal have so much in common, she can definitely help the head of the Light Department learn how to ease off the throttle. Meanwhile, Dash also decides, Fluttershy should try to help Vapor come out of her shell, since they are both on the timid side.
Fluttershy meekly suggests that they’d have better luck with an opposite pairing since Foal could obviously do with a lesson in being timid and Vapor might just benefit from a little exposure to Dash’s world of brash. But before Fluttershy can even finish her thought, Dash is already off bonding with Foal and Fluttershy decides to go along with Dash’s plan.

Unfortunately, as Dash and Fluttershy try to help, Foal and Vapor only become more and more convinced that the situation is impossible. Fluttershy eventually summons the courage to demand that Dash consider her plan that they need to be helping the opposite pony. Finally seeing the logic, Dash wonders why it took Fluttershy so long to speak up.

Before Fluttershy can admonish Dash for taking so long to listen, everyone realizes the rainbow output has fallen so low that Cloudsdale is sinking. Unable to work together, even in an emergency, Vapor and Foal hand the reigns to Fluttershy and Rainbow who step in and show how their disparate personalities can be used to complement each other instead of hampering each other’s efforts.

Finally, able to see how their two departments are meant to work in consort, Foal and Vapor gain a new respect for each other and for their respective roles. Dash and Fluttershy, meanwhile, are reminded how their differences are exactly the things that make them such good friends.

Bit odd that not only did they try another Fluttershy map episode right after the previous one fell through, and playing up the "is Fluttershy right for this mission" angle again (though at least Dash was properly called for this one), but that they did so right alongside Dash getting a map episode with Pinkie. Can you imagine if there wasn't an even Mane 6 map balance throughout this season, or worse yet, if some ponies weren't called at all? The fandom would have gone nuts! Well, not Derpygate or Twilicorn levels of nuts, they would have kicked up a fair old fuss, anyway.

Even if one of the two new pegasus ponies here didn't share a name (missing a letter, and that could just be a typo), I'm sure you'd have compared this to Season 6's "Top Bolt" in a flash. Not that they actually share too much direct plot or thematic point in common, but "map episode set in pegasus-only cloud-based locale based around a conflict of two ponies-of-the-day, one being timid and the other confidant, where our two Mane 6 ponies have been called to mediate the issue" doesn't leave much doubt this was raided for scraps later. I'm of the mind that "Top Bolt" was really good, utilising the Twilight/Rainbow Dash pairing to just as great effect as "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3", and portraying one of the show's better and more believably realistic friendship problems, map episode or not. So I'm tempted to not even consider this much, given had it been made, we certainly wouldn't have gotten "Top Bolt".

But even without that caveat, I'm not too warm about it, for the simple reason of the episode's main middle conflict stemming from Fluttershy being hesitant to speak her mind, and Dash not even thinking to listen to her. In Season 5. Small surprise Josh Haber wrote this, it has his character-breaking tics all over it, if less severely. And because it foregrounds the eventual solution so heavily (if heightening it by Cloudsdale possibly going down), it would also share the tedium of an obvious sticking-to-their-virtue present in the middle of "Leap of Faith", a Haber episode oddly bereft of his usual tics. There, it had a purpose, given there was merit to Applejack keeping quiet and she did have a proper dilemma, and her lying didn't take centre stage until the halfway point. Here, it feels unintentional, and thus has no purpose.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of ways to rework and expand on this, both to fill the runtime up and to flesh out the two new characters (I mean, I can't be the only one who substituted Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger's personalities in for them, right?). But the bigger issue of how the plot requires Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy to act, that would have needed a complete conceptual overhaul. Not a totally lost cause, but easy to see why they didn't proceed with it. Especially with "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" booting up warmly next door at the time.

The Princess of Stress: Written by Amy Keating Rogers

Twilight: "What's wrong? Another pegasus wing animation error on me?"
Fluttershy: "No. Well, yes, but that's not it. I'm starting to sense a pattern with these unused map episodes…"
Twilight: "Yeah, I'd just roll with it. I know you don't like being in the spotlight that much, but this is the last one."

This Premise is dated to March 17, 2014. Another double map-header, as the very next day, the Revised Premise for "Made in Manehattan" was submitted (the first Premise was submitted on March 6th). It should probably come as minimal surprise that aspects of this map episode surfaced in another one later. Though only the idea of pairing Twilight and Fluttershy for a map episode this time.

Becoming the Princess of Friendship brought about a lot of new responsibilities and added pressure for TWILIGHT. Suddenly anypony with a friendship problem is coming to her for advice. Twilight is happy to guide them through their troubles and help mend each and every friendship she can. But who knew there were so many friendship problems in Ponyville? Twilight’s workload has gotten so big she’s almost rushing through these ponies’ problems, barely listening, almost on autopilot. (And as a result, Twilight’s friendship advice is less than stellar.) Suddenly the weather in Ponyville starts going haywire. Almost at the same time the Map calls FLUTTERSHY and Twilight to fly up to Cloudsdale. Twilight’s so busy she’s freaking out, but she has no choice but to go.

Arriving at the Cloudsdale Weather Factory, Twilight is determined to help the workers fix their problem as quickly as possible so that she can get home and continue her work. STORMY FEATHER, the Pegasus in charge, agrees with Twilight that if they go by the book, they should be able to fix everything in no time flat. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, meets up with a RAINBOW SHINE, who’s second in command. Rainbow Shine is Stormy Feather’s friend, but she’s noticed that Stormy Feather just isn’t listening to the workers since she got her promotion. Like Fluttershy, Rainbow Shine thinks they ought to take their time and really get to the heart of the matter before rushing to a solution.

But when Twilight and Stormy Feather deal with the issues in an overly logical manner, the weather goes completely wild, causing a huge storm to break out in Cloudsdale! When Fluttershy and Rainbow Shine bring up all of the flaws in the plan that caused this storm, Twilight and Stormy Feather realize their errors. Putting logic aside Stormy Feather finally listens to her friend and leads the Weather Factory workers from her instincts. Soon enough, the workers start really working together and are able to calm the storm in Cloudsdale and control the weather in all of Equestria again.

Stormy Feather apologizes for not listening to Rainbow Shine. And Twilight in turn apologizes to Fluttershy for getting so wrapped up in getting things done that she didn’t do her job as the Princess of Friendship.

With the problem solved, Twilight and Fluttershy’s Cutie Marks glisten and it is time for them to return to Ponyville.

Definitely one of the shorter Premises, especially given most of the first paragraph is just scene setting for Twilight's stress. Otherwise… yep, guess they gave "Cloudsdale map episode where there's trouble at the Weather Factory and the conflict arises from a conflict of approaches between the characters of the day, with the sent Mane 6 ponies not properly coordinating to solve the problem" another go! And wow, that makes three unused map episodes set not only in Cloudsdale, but featuring Fluttershy not being assertive enough with her idea against that of her companion.

Honestly, I don't even have much to say about this one. I'm sure that Larson, much like myself, was tired of these Cloudsdale map episodes going nowhere by that point, and I don't even have much to say about the "Twilight's in a hurry to get back home and has been rushing friendship advice" plot thread, it feels on autopilot as she is. This does feel like a slightly better fit for Rogers' writing than "Griffon Chore", I'll grant that. But otherwise, it's easily the most indifferent episode of the three – it even feels hastily written.

Concluding Thoughts

Writing episode Premises where the clichés and tropes don't dominate one's impression is already hard enough. Doing so while also adhering to the formulaic do-what-the-plot-says structure of Map episodes makes it even harder. So I truly feel for the story editors and writers, trying to wring worthwhile episodes out of the Map. As indifferent and forgettable as most of them are (though I'll admit, the map episodes of Season 6 are much better, they got a good feel for how to subvert the formula or roll with it to minimal detriment), I have better appreciation for the Map episodes we did get in Season 5 now. It's not remotely surprising none of these three were used, though aspects from all of them (less so "The Princess of Stress", and mostly "Prism Break") would resurface in future map episodes. So, not all was lost!

Totally unintentionally, but my choice of theme resulted in the least eventful episodes being up-fronted in this blog series. Next time, when we're free from the shackles of map structure, they get far more interesting, curious and worthwhile. Suri returning; Applejack’s speakeasy episode; An earlier Fluttershy/Nightmare Night episode; A Princess cosplay competition (yes, seriously) – all these and more are waiting in the wings, and you’ll see some of them next time. Until then, folks!

Part 3, discussing episode that were loose spiritual precursors to episodes we did get, can be read here.

Comments

[iisaw]

I gotta admit, Stormy Feather is a great pegasus name!

[Ghost Mike]

5638774
Slipped my mind to really think about it at the time, but you’re right. I’ve seen so many character names change, usually for legal reasons, and in most cases, the new name is better. We just saw Spitfire’s mom go from Silver Flare to Stormy Flare for “Rarity Investigates!”, after all.

That character, incidentally, is probably why this name never resurfaced – too similar.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Weird that we had three rejected map missions in Cloudsdale, all three of which featured Fluttershy and all three of them had basically the same theme: Fluttershy not speaking up for herself sooner. I can see how they came back to these rejected drafts for "The Hoofields and McColts" and "Top Bolt", though.

Edit: And who was supposed to write "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" if Amy only got it because of a scheduling conflict?

[Ghost Mike]

5730989

Edit: And who was supposed to write "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" if Amy only got it because of a scheduling conflict?

M.A. Larson. I didn't mention that as it was a relatively well-known fact and figured it didn't need reiterating (possibly I was wrong there, heh). Scheduling conflicts meant that Larson wasn't available to start on Griffonstone when it had to be, so Amy Keating Rogers took it, giving him a week to free himself before taking what was originally her episode, "Slice of Life".

[SuperPinkBrony12]

5731026 Ah, I didn't know that. Wonder how "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" would've turned out if Larson had been at the writing helm?