Another Art and Writing Update Blog (or, I Have an OC Now) · 8:43pm May 31st, 2021
I promised a blog showing off art. It is about time I deliver on that. As the title says, one of these is an OC/ponysona/whatever the cool kids call them. There aren't any spectacularly big spoilers in any of them, though I'll just throw it out there that there are some original characters and the like. Check them out below the break. At the very end of showing off the pretty pony pictures that will be shown, I'll give a rundown on how my various writing projects have been coming along. That's all active stories. Just skip right down there if you're only concerned about writing and general author update material.
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First up is none other than the bastard demon. Y'all know me by now, at least multiple pictures on this blog are going to feature Sombra (or Luna). I had always wanted to get a picture of Sombra doing one of his goofy, more cat-like expressions to be a break from his usual grouchiness or smugness. I'd been keeping it on the backburner of commission ideas until I came up with a good idea for a pose. I found one in an adorable picture of the amazing Riley that Scampy shared. I didn't get permission to share the picture here, so I will link to a blog that features the one and only Riley on his shenanigans.
Yes, this means I got to send MayhemMoth a cat picture as a reference for a horse picture.
Next up, there is another piece by PogchampMoth that was a wonderful gift. Like most of the other pictures I feature in these blogs, I do intend to see if they can be featured as illustrations in the (very much in progress) revised and printed versions of my longer stories. (With the permission of all the artists in question, in case anyone felt the need to bring that up.) The only thing is... this piece of artwork is marked as NSFW for minor gore by DeviantArt. I'm not sure if it was posted anywhere else that marked it as non-explicit, but I will at least offer a broken link for y'all to copy and paste. Just remove the space. I've seen far gorier cover art on the site; I just want to be safe and not accidentally get banned for NSFW imagery here.
Anyway, the URL to look at a wonderful picture of Onyx messing around with an animal that suspiciously resembles the Twitter bird is this: https://www.deviantart.com/enigmadoodles/ art/The-Sweetest-Song-866028256
Finally, finally I have another piece I would love to show off. The companion image of Petunia Petals I commissioned as a cover for Ichor now has its twin out. I can now show you Marigold and her funny little necklace.
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If you zoom in enough, you can see her little golden freckles. She's extra dolled up too, with thin little eyebrows. It's probably because she wants to eat your bones.
I do have one piece that is a spoiler. I'm keeping it as a surprise included in the next interlude of Enemy of Mine, which will be coming out sooner if everything works out on the author side of things. All I will say is that it is by Segraece, though not posted on her page.
And now, time to see my horse. His design was lifted from an old sketch from when I was sixteen that had been sitting on my laptop... well, considering I'm twenty-one now... it was sitting around forgotten for a while. I don't think I touched that particular image since my old, first laptop finally fucking perished in 2018. I only remember I had gone through various half-sketches and similar nonsense in an attempt to create an OC pony for myself in the past. The biggest reason is that I have never liked representing myself with a non-human character (and I don't like drawing myself, to begin with). The closest comparison I can reach for is that doing so has always felt like the uncanny valley effect, though much stronger. I just empathize with the concept and product less. Maybe another time I can try and make a blog that delves into the kind of cognitive dissonance (would that be the right word for this?) that happens when dealing with a) the broad spectrum of talking animals and b) non-human representations of the self.
(It would probably be boring as shit. Though, I would at least like to know if there is a name for this incredibly, stupidly specific situation.)
Still, I managed to really try and work on something this time and I pushed myself to finalize it. I only had the little bust sketch from 2016 Ice Star to make, but once I corrected the gender and filled out a full-body profile instead of just a bust, I ended up with something I actually liked. My incredibly sloppy sketch was transformed into something far better by Eonionic (whose art I have featured before). Just look at him:
This is Schadenfreude. He is holding a flat cap (that is based on one I actually own). He is not a particularly colorful little pony, but seeing he's supposed to represent me, he's going to have an affinity for colorful language. The reason why his eyes are that color should be very fucking obvious. (For anyone who follows me that happens to be colorblind and seeks to gouge out my eyes in revenge for my frequent use of colored text, sixteen-year-old me made his eyes ice blue.) He is designed to have the leonine tail for Reasonsâ„¢ that I'm genuinely curious to see if anyone can figure out. The cloven hooves are the touch of the artist.
The first person to guess what his cutie mark is modified from will win... I don't know, something?
Would this horse have an absolutely insufferable personality?
Please refer to who he is based on. 
Will I use Schadenfreude in future stories?
Honestly? Probably, yes.
Why does he look like he is waving his hat at somepony else?
It's because he is. That just isn't my blog to make. Y'all are only looking at half of the picture.
Now time for story updates. There is one thing I do need to get out of the way. While I have been out of college for over two weeks now, I did have some take-home things to finish up. That is one reason for the lack of immediate updates that probably would have been expected with my writing patterns. However, the biggest reason is that I started a new medication. A major one. Simply put, it is a kind of anti-anxiety medicine. The symptom that it targets most isn't actually an anxiety disorder symptom in any way is hyperarousal, or the kind of constant doubling-down into prolonged states of anxiety, panic, and all the other trappings of disordered instances of the flight-or-fight response.
The problem with the medication is that it works. It took a little over a week of me being on it to realize how absolutely fucking different I felt all the time. I'd mellowed out even more than when I started testosterone, which is saying quite a fucking lot. Getting any kind of stressful response from me was weirdly difficult since I suddenly had both a higher threshold for it... and I wasn't in a permanent state of hyperarousal, or anything like it. This new medication made me learn the hard way just how much almost my every activity (even the kind that I love) was all motivated by hyperarousal in some way. My whole life has relied on my motivation to do anything be rooted in the concept of anxiety some kind of dread, no matter how positive the activity may be.
This has included writing. I want to write, but I've only managed a paragraph or two throughout the whole month, as well as working on some notes. Even if it hadn't also been finals earlier this month, this is so frustratingly low. I couldn't understand how I had done so little or why my drive to do more than edit things I had lying around already (like my latest few stories) was just fucking absent. Not writing is insanity, and it always has been. I know I need to figure something out, and I'm not sure how best to tackle this problem. Am I going to do it anyway? Absolutely, I'm a stubborn bastard. I won't take no from an answer, even if that answer is from me.
Anyone who wants to provide advice in the comments is welcome to do so too. I'll take helpful links. Whatever you've got. Tips on how to focus during writing help a ton too. My ADHD is becoming more of a fucking nightmare as my medications just seem to not be as effective lately. Or maybe it's me just having a hard time managing it. Anyway, it's worth noting that I can't write in calls/around people very well but I can write to music. I've heard turning off Wifi can help. I might try that. Or just disconnect from it.
With that context established, the status of every story is this:
- Enemy of Mine: I have a new custom cover art that I commissioned. I am going to reveal it when I get the remaining currently published chapters (11 of them) revised and print-ready. I'm at least 7k into the next update, I just haven't touched it in a while. Everything is outlined, which I cannot stress enough. I'm even more tired of this story sitting around unfinished and the main arc chugging along this slowly than y'all. Believe me, I'm trying.
- Victory for the Dark Horse: I am working on the final chapter. It is outlined, with snippets done here and there. Some scenes are already complete. The epilogue is done too. I'm really trying to shake off the rust and come back swinging into my style(s) here, and this is an easy place to start out of stories that are currently published.
- Stay Golden/Ichor: This languishing gem of mine is... I always knew it was going to be a passion project that got very little attention. That doesn't mean the general lack of eagerness to clamp onto it (it's a long-form story, guys! Y'all like those!) doesn't have me in a funk sometimes. Is it understandable? Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, I've got more books lying around that are plenty inspiring for the genre, and time to watch too many murder documentaries now.
This means we're all in trouble.I still haven't really touched this one since the fall semester, if I remember correctly. Or early January. I do have the same deal to report as last time: multiple chapters are lying around in various states of being partially written. - Piecemeal Pupil: This is a lower-priority project to keep me writing. Part of the next chapter has some snippets done. The other three are outlined.
- Cryptic Coda: I haven't touched the anthology in a while. The next update is currently languishing, as are the other shorts I have for this in their various stages of readiness for publishing/completion. Of all my anthologies, it is the one that is the highest priority, though my anthologies have traditionally been the lowest priority of my work.
- My other two anthologies: See the above. Missing Pages has some chapters that will need to be revised and tweaked for print. Eventually. As bonus material, nothing will be a super high priority from there.
- Pri(n)celess: I revised, expanded, and brought this one back! I would say that it is at the status of Pupil right now. It is a lower priority project, but I have an outline for it that has been complete for years. When I get around to this novelette, it will be ready. There will be a total of six chapters and an epilogue planned.
- First printed book: The cover art needed to be revised. The PDF is formatted.
- Song of Myself: Will need a small amount of minor if frustrating technical revisions if it is to be printed or submitted anywhere.
- The Encore of Clover the Clever: This is next on the chopping block for revisions, expansions, and other editing bits. Oh boy.
- Halfway Mare/With Her Dead-Eyed Stare: There is a third part to this that I have had so far down on the backburner. I'm really trying with it, but I was stuck for a while. Unlike Song of Myself the third chapter and other corrections I'll need to make will be more substantial in order to be resubmitted anywhere.
- Other projects and WIPs from my Google Drive and Unpublished Stories: Yeah, those exist too.
- Bastard Juice/Some King of Nature: These two also need revision and an extra scrub of editing. Again.
- There are still sixteen other stories on my revision shelf: That isn't counting ones that have already been mentioned here. These sixteen stories (along with EoM, Missing Pages, and both versions of my Coco Pommel story) total slightly over one million words of stories that need revising and reworking and...
I'd hope the picture is pretty clear now. Right?
It's a lot of words.
University starts again in August too.
Woah. I really admire how the cutie mark was done in general.
Since im also a big sinner of being unable to focus on writing, there's no a lot of advice I can offer. What it has worked for me however, is to turn off the lights of the room save the desk lamp, and write. Only the notebook/computeh, the story and I.
Works better if you write by hand though.
Be as it may, hope the medicine stops getting in the way.
Oh and terrific oc you got there. I may be wrong but... Is that CM based on Hamlet by any means?
Noice. Also, who is Petunia Petals and why does she want to consume
fleshbones?I don't have any good focusing advice, all I can do is wish you the best in college, your writing, and your health.
And compliment you on your smol Sombra. Smolmbra.
Kitty Sombra was by far one of my favorite things to work on so far this year, though Onyx was also pretty fun. Though, speaking of him, I think I might could get rid of the mature filter? I really don't know the extent of DA's filtering rules, I feel like I've gotten away with worse, so if you think I should un-mark it I can. If I get yelled at I'll put it back.
Also the pic was uploaded to Twitter once, so no filter there, but yeah Twitter sucks. I might just unmark it on DA, I've got robo-gore and a pony with a bloody nose unmarked, a dead bird's nothing much.
Unfortunately I'm no help with medication issues though
Oh wow, the amount of work you do is very admirable bro. I'm glad your medication is working for you and I'll try to give you some advice. Obviously, I'm not a doctor but these are some of the observations I've made of myself, who struggles with self-motivation and of three family members struggling with ADHD:
-Exercise, it really clears my mind and allows me to focus. I normally take like 6 miles bike rides once a week (which is only like 45 mins) or like half a mile to 1 mile runs around my neighborhood and they really help.
-You can try giving yourself a deadline or scheduling your entire day and scheduling a specific time to write.
-You can try some of the strategies outlined in this CGPGrey video here, I think they sound reasonable and it worked for me for several months from like March-June 2020.
-You can try writing reminders, either physical notes on the top of your computer or something or alarms on your phone, I know phone alarms are how I keep my life in order.
Hope you find something that works for you! Good luck!
As someone who's been struggling with multiple medications over the years, some becoming ineffective as time goes on and not being able to counter the ADHD and Aspergers, some having horrid side effects, and some being too strong, I feel you. All I can say is try to find anything you can do to work your way through it. Doing nothing against it will just make everything worse. Just try to find anything to counter it. That's all that can really be done. I'm sorry if it's not very helpful, but it's all I got from my experiences. Hope things get better for you soon.
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Thank you! Schadenfreude's cutie mark is a stylized version of the two costumed figures featured on the cover of The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me. Perfect for my goth boi.
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See the above for the cutie mark source.
I've been told not to do this because of the sheer amount of damage it will do to my eyes in the long run by my eye doctors.
I used to do that, and I generally write notes for all my classes out by hand. The problem is that transcribing it becomes very difficult and it works best with shorter stories. I'm leaning towards disconnecting from the internet as a strategy since my computer does help me do things I wouldn't be able to do on paper.
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Petunia Petals and Marigold Blueblood are two OCs that are from Ichor (SFW version) and Stay Golden (NSFW version). Petunia also appears in Hagseed and Harlotry which is the prequel short. That one is also SFW.
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Thank you, I'm certainly trying. I'm just glad to have a regular schedule next year instead of this covid-structured nonsense where everything is shortened and worse. Hopefully, that means more horsewords too!
He does kinda look a bit Sombra-ish without the white stripes. I just love gloomy colors.
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"Fun" isn't the word I'd use to describe Onyx but you're one of five people that likes him so...
If that's what you'd like. I could check with a mod if it could be posted on here. I have wanted to get around to writing something where it could be cover/internal art on the site. I just love showing off all my fan art and commissions. 🖤
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It took me multiple tries to find a medication that worked, but now it is a matter of finding the right dose and behaviors to support it. I think that's the issue, at least. My anti-anxiety meds have been more of an issue for me just because normally I can write whenever I want, even when I'm depressed or injured. But this time has been different and drained my ability to feel motivation (or fear, I suppose) all around. Thank you for the advice.
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Thank you so much! I usually resorted to notes/reminders/alarms in the past, but I'm a forgetful dude. Checking out the video and getting off my scrawny ass to work out would probably help the most. I'll work on figuring something out there. Maybe Ice Star will be Ice Swol for a change.
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There's something morbidly enjoyable about drawing a child mutilating a dead thing.
If the art is fine for here, I'll unmark it on DA. It was really less the blood that I found the issue, and more the dead animal, but if it's fine here I say it's fine there.
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I've asked a site mod, though I have yet to hear back from them.
Great job, murderer.
5543808
I'm sorry, but what the heck? I've never murdered anybody. If you need to bring up an issue unrelated to the contents of this blog, please PM me.
5543808
Back off. You think harassing people is okay because you think it's justified by what happened earlier? You stup to the level of people you fight against. just block them Ice and move on with your day. This guy ain't worth it.
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https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/954592/ive-decided-to-kill-myself
Murderer.
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I had no hand in murdering this person nor did I suicide bait them. Please stop posting these comments on my blog. I’ve offered to PM you and take the discussion where it belongs.
5543952
Yeah alright. I hope you're happy with blood on your hands.
5543963
I don’t have a drop on them.