I wrote some ponywords!

Finally! Some progress on Mail Order Groom!

Don't get too excited, though. It was only a few pony words. But something is better than nothing, right?

Here's a very-rough, still-need-to-edit preview, just in case you want proof.

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“Two down,” Applejack muttered to herself. “Next!”

A light gold pony stepped up with a confident stride, and he took a brief moment to tilt his stetson back before offering the pony panel a huge grin.

“Next!” called out Applejack.

“But I just sat down,” said Braeburn. “We ain’t had a good long talk in—”

“NEXT!” shouted Applejack. “Yer mah cousin, ya durned idjit! I ain’t about to go pickin’ apples out of my own family tree.”

“Well, I suppose.” Braeburn got up and looked around at the long line of stallions waiting their turn.  “You don’t mind if I check out some of your—”

“NEXT! bellowed Applejack.  “Braeburn, if your mangy carcass is within eyesight by the time I stand up, Ah’m going to kick you right back to Appleloooosa!”

Braeburn beat a hasty retreat, and the next stallion moved cautiously up to the chair, giving furtive looks to either side. “I... um... didn’t realize you had that kind of temper. I’m sorry, ma’am, but... goodbye.”

“That’s it,” growled Applejack, standing up and addressing the mass of males before. “Any of the rest of you want to drop out ahead of time, be my guest. Yes, ah’ve got a temper, but ah ain’t never kicked nopony who didn’t kick me first. Ah also hog the covers, get terrible gas from artichokes, and think the Baltimore Ravines are a disgrace to the noble art of hoofball an’ they should be run off the field afore they embarrass themselves like they did last week.”

One hoof went up in the crowd. “How about the Detrot Lions?”

“Well...” Applejack sat back down while the prospective pool of pony partners began to shrink.  “Ah can’t really say, on account of Rarity being one of my best friends. But ah’m willing to be tolerant of them. Now, let’s get this line moving again.”

---

“Next,” Applejack droned, but she gasped when she looked up from the notes she’d taken on the last candidate. “Caramel? Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Well, I saw you ad in the Picayune this morning, and I was… well, what I mean… that is, I was hoping that, if you’re not too busy, you and I could finally go on that date you promised me for helping out with Winter Wrap Up.”

“Seriously? That was years ago, and you lost the grass seeds!”

“I know, but you did promise,” Caramel softly said. He then stood, and from within his saddlebags, he produced a small bouquet of white and red roses. “I, uh… I even got you some flowers. But if you don’t want them, then I’ll just leave, and…”

“Wait,” Applejack called out, and she bit her bottom lip. She had promised to take Caramel out on a date, but then had promptly forgotten all about it. The flowers were a nice touch, she had to admit, and her stomach rumbled a bit as she thought about turning them into a light midmorning snack. “Fine. Go wait over by the barn. You’re in.”

Caramel smiled, passed the flowers to Applejack, and then trotted over to the barn with a prance in his step. 

“You’re not seriously considering him, are you?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I mean, c’mon. It’s Caramel. The guy gets lost in his own house.”

“A promise is a promise,” Applejack said. “Ah wish he would’ve reminded me about it before now, though. Sides, he seems pretty nice, and he’s never done me any wrong. Don’t hurt nothin’ to give him a chance.”

“It’s your marriage.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Don’t blame me if it sucks later.”

“To be fair, Applejack wouldn’t have to worry about it now if you had kept your nose out of her personal affairs, now would she?” Harshwhinny said with a sly grin. 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Applejack nipped off a red bud from the bouquet with a smirk. “You ain’t gettin’ none of my flowers, neither. Who’s next?”

---

“Next!”

“Rainbows!” Zephyr Breeze shot out of the crowd before anypony could react, and he flung himself across the table in front of Rainbow Dash before propping his head on one hoof. “How’s it going, Dash? Did you miss me and all of my awesomeness?”

“Oh, great,” Rainbow Dash moaned while her friends snickered at the display. 

“C’mon, Rainbows. Don’t be like that. It’s your Zeppy we’re talking bout here! How about a little kiss for your new hubby, eh?”

“What?!” Rainbow Dash recoiled, and her chair nearly went over backwards. “I’m not the one looking for a husband! Applejack is!”

Comments

[Prismfire Productions]

As a Browns fan I approve that bit about the Ravines😂😂😂😂

[Baineblade]

..... Zephyr Breeze must die. That is all. _{Well okay, maybe not ALL, I am a fan of the Cloudsdale Flyers after all.}

[Georg]

"Next. Next?" Applejack looked around. "Where's the next one?"

"Down here." With considerable effort, the small colt managed to get his front hooves on the table and peer over.

"Truffle?" Applejack gave Apple Bloom's classmate a short frown. "What's you doin' here?"

"Mama said you're the best cook in all of Ponyville," said Truffle Shuffle with a quick licking of his lips. "If I'm your husband, can I have seconds every night at dinner?"

[duckmagee]

it be funny if applejack got some revenge by signing up the rest of the girls,, zephyr breese always good for a laugh... at rainbow expense

[duckmagee]

5514080
nah that too far he needs to move on and find someone who actually be a good match for him, fluttershy wants to be a auntie after all

[A.P.O.N.I.]

Is Rarity's father a hoofball player with the Lions in this continuity?

[Irrespective]

5514151
I am totally going to steal this. :dawww:

[Irrespective]

5514215
Only if it would be funny.

[Georg]

5514215 Not sure, but he certainly is a a hoofball player of enormous respect in this one.

The whinny erupted from the field, primal, deep but piercing, a sound of unchecked fury that might have erupted from the throat of the Pale Horse himself.

It rose above the cheering and booing of the crowd like a surfer atop a wave, contemptuous of the lesser din.

It shot shivers of pure terror down the spines of everyone on the field, even the referees,who had learned to live with fear after years of dodging cider bottles and hay dogs hurled onto the field, to say nothing of players coming at full gallop. This explains why the linesman required two seconds before he had the wind to blow his whistle.

The only pony who didn’t hear the whinny- or, at least, never again remembered hearing the whinny- was the unfortunate left linescolt for the Suns, because as the sound of the whinny still echoed through the stadium he was being picked up in the air by the forehooves of Lions #53 and driven into the turf head-first.

[A.P.O.N.I.]

5514754
Man, I love that story.