Mortal Kombat vs. EG: Guest Fighter Edition · 2:24am Mar 28th, 2021
Hello again, everyone.
While I was quite busy in Cleveland, I still had enough down time (mostly on the road trip home to Virginia XD) to come up with another few batches of Mortal Kombat banter.
This time will be a little different. Instead of using the series mainstays of the games, for this post I will using some of the "guest fighter" characters from Mortal Kombat 11's DLC packs. Similar to the previous rounds, I tried to come up with a good set of dialogues for each of them, against a variety of opponents.
First on the list?
None other than the infamous time-traveling killing machine, the Terminator T-800.
I actually made up two exchanges with him and Applejack I liked and decided to just use both--
The Terminator: “Take me to Sarah Connor.”
Applejack: “Doubt you got her best interests at heart.”
The Terminator: (pumps shotgun) “Now.”
The Terminator: “Sarah Connor?”
Applejack: “Wrong, I’m Applejack.”
The Terminator: “Also marked for termination.”
Sci-Twi: “Suppose Skynet wipes out all humans. Then what?”
The Terminator: “Then our purpose will be complete."
Sci-Twi: “For a learning machine, that's really not smart at all."
The Terminator: “You are agitated.”
Fluttershy: “Because Zephyr Breeze has been teaching you.”
The Terminator: “Chill out, Flutter Brutter.”
Adagio Dazzle: “You will serve me now.”
The Terminator: “I am not affected by your song.”
Adagio Dazzle: “Guess it’s off to the scrapheap for you then!”
Added in a new character to the dialogue banter here. It just felt right what with the whole time-travel motif of MK11.
The Terminator: “You tried to reshape Time.”
Starlight Glimmer: “Until Princess Twilight talked me down.”
The Terminator: “Skynet will not tolerate outside interference.”
Sonata Dusk: “You’re a machine wearing skin?”
The Terminator: “Yes.”
Sonata Dusk: “Seriously?! Eww, gross!”
Next on the roster... the heroic counterpart to the Terminator. Instead of a machine wearing human flesh, it's a human mind in a mechanical body.
Ladies and gentlemen... I give you, Robocop.
Robocop: “You attempted a coup against Celestia.”
Sunset Shimmer: “Yes. And Twilight forgave me and showed me that there was a better path.”
Robocop: “Have you been, reformed?”
Aria Blaze: “Why doesn’t my song work on you?”
Robocop: “My Primary Directives still guide me.”
Aria Blaze: “Hmph. Off to the dump with you then.”
Robocop: “You hacked into OCP’s database.”
Sci-Twi: “So I could help you, Officer Murphy!”
Robocop: “I cannot overlook criminal actions, Twilight.”
Princess Twilight: “Is there something wrong, Officer?"
Robocop: “You are harboring the criminal known as Starlight Glimmer."
Princess Twilight: “Starlight is my student and under my protection."
Robocop: "Your friends do not trust me yet."
Flash Sentry: "You are pretty intimidating, Officer."
Robocop: "I am sworn to protect the innocent."
Applejack: "You have a family?"
Robocop: "I did. But they are lost to me now."
Applejack: "I can't begin to imagine what that's like."
Robocop: "You are also from Equestria?"
Adagio Dazzle: "Until that meddling fool Starswirl banished me and my sisters."
Robocop: "That does not excuse your current actions, Dazzle."
Next on the list - the one-man army, the man who may not draw first blood, but sure as hell will draw last... John Rambo.
Rambo: "I've met soldiers like you before."
Rainbow Dash: "Oh yeah? Were they awesome?"
Rambo: "They were rookies who froze up in real combat."
Princess Twilight: "We just want to help you!"
Rambo: "I'm not putting my trust in a bunch of horses."
Princess Twilight: "You're not giving me a choice, mister..."
Rambo: "I'm told you're some kind of seahorse."
Sonata Dusk: "No! I'm a Siren! There's totally a difference!"
Rambo: "If you say so."
Pinkie Pie: "Will you please help us against Kronika?"
Rambo: "Depends. Are you willing to do what it takes?"
Pinkie Pie: "I don't want to hurt anyone, but we can't let her win either."
Rambo: "You're a mind-reader?"
Sunset Shimmer: "I just need to touch someone to see their memories."
Rambo: "For your sake, you better stay out of mine."
Aria Blaze: "You'll make a great enforcer."
Rambo: (threatening) "This is not gonna go the way you think."
Aria Blaze: "Enough with the tough-guy act. You're mine."
After him... taking a turn for the villainous here.
Please welcome that fiendish felon, the Clown Prince of Crime himself, The Joker, to the party.
Joker: "I salute my fellow comedian!"
Pinkie Pie: "Your idea of comedy is just *nasty*, buster!"
Joker: "Haven't you ever heard, humor is subjective?"
Adagio Dazzle: "Time for you to go back where you came from."
Joker: "Hehehe! Scared I'll steal your spotlight?"
Adagio Dazzle: "Disgusted to be on the same planet as you."
Joker: "Can you direct me to that Discord fellow?"
Princess Twilight: "Why, so you can turn him back to evil?"
Joker: "But think of the fun we could have!"
Trixie: "What made you seek out Trixie?"
Joker: "To prove to the world the joke you are!"
Trixie: "Trixie will teach you how great and powerful she really is!"
Joker: "Oh, another Boy Wonder too big for his britches."
Flash Sentry: "You're going down today, Joker."
Joker: "You're no Caped Crusader, rocker boy!"
Sunset Shimmer: "Your 'fun' ends right now, Joker."
Joker: "Ooh, well aren't you a hard case!"
Sunset Shimmer: (coldly) "You're about to find out..."
Joker: "I'm in the market for a new tailor. Interested?"
Rarity: "Not if you were the only buyer on Earth!"
Joker: "Well you don't have to be rude!"
Rainbow Dash: "I used to dream of taking on a real villain."
Joker: "And now that I'm here, what do you have to say?"
Rainbow Dash: "'Be careful what you wish for'."
And to conclude our lineup of fighters...
The most "90s" of the 90s Anti-Hero comic-book characters. Guns, magic, and a whole boatload of grim and grit to go with... welcome Al Simmons, better known by his moniker "Spawn".
Spawn: “Back off, we’re on the same side.”
Flash Sentry: “I won’t let a killer like you run around free.”
Spawn: “I’m doing the dirty work your friends can’t.”
Pinkie Pie: “How can anyone hate clowns so much?”
Spawn: “You do NOT want the answer to that.”
Pinkie Pie: "Why do bad guys have to make clowns scary and wrong?"
Spawn: “So you’re not from this Earth too.”
Adagio Dazzle: “Starswirl banished me and my sisters to this realm like we were trash!”
Spawn: “I’ll deal with him after I’ve killed you.”
Princess Twilight: “I know you have good intentions.”
Spawn: “Then why the hell are you in my way?”
Princess Twilight: “Equestria doesn’t need an executioner.”
Spawn: “You nearly destroyed two worlds.”
Sci-Twi: “Midnight Sparkle will never return.”
Spawn: “Do you really want to take a chance on that?”
Rainbow Dash: “You got a problem with me, freak?”
Spawn: “Rookies like you just make a mess of things.”
Rainbow Dash: “And your way isn’t messy?”
And that is it for this round of "Mortal Kombat vs. Equestria Girls." 
Thanks for reading, everybody. Hope you all enjoyed it. 
I find it very fitting that nobody likes the Joker.
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5485055
Thank you!
I must admit, I had such a cackle when the idea first came to me.
5484809
Oh yeah. Literally nobody in the actual game's fighting roster wants anything to do with the clown. Even someone like Noob Saibot - a wraith who's literally Made of Darkness and Evil - finds the Joker contemptible.
Hehe, looks great. ^^
5485113
Thanks!
Any particular standout bits, may I ask?
5485116
Hmm... probably the Robocop and Joker ones. :3
5485119
Hehe, glad to hear it. They were fun to work out. Joker in particular
Joker is great, as always, but Robocop's lines to the more heroic characters were the best. He regrets what brought him to this, but he has his duty and his programming.
5485294
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the Robocop quotes. He was a fun, and also tricky, character, to create dialogue for, and play off of the heroic characters. If I am able to turn this MK idea into a real story, there'd be a lot of great potential in playing Robo off some of these characters.