'Sorry': How Readers Write Stories for Themselves and Develop Parasocial Relationships · 8:45pm Mar 12th, 2021
Recently a certain blog has absolutely lit up my dashboard with tons of blog posts and comments about Fimfiction shutting down. To the point where now there's a whole new wave of people/commenters going about the website and quelling the panic that their stories might be wiped from existence.
And don't get me wrong. I'm not going to sit here and say Fimfic is a permanent bastion of stories. I used to think Pastebin was, but recently a large event caused thousands of greentext stories to be wiped from the face of the earth with only a few backup utilities saving many of the greentexts. Luckily for me, I have all my stories backed up on Fimfic -- so a lot of what was there were old first drafts. Not much of value of lost. The same thing -could- happen to Fimfiction in the future. Which is why it's important to back up your stories.
But that's not why I'm blogging today!
Today, I want to talk about one of the major downsides of having a high follower count / horse fame or even the downside of using a blog as a space where you hope you can share your feelings and unadulterated thought as a venting space.
In short -- I want to tackle the idea that the writers -can't- use it as a venting space
Many high followed users on Fimfic are very familiar with the concept of a Parasocial relationship. There are many people out there who have written definitions, made videos, blogs, articles.etc about parasocial relationships. But I'm going to sum up this idea shortly and concisely to get everyone on the same stage as my thesis: -- A parasocial relationship is one where you enjoy a person's content, presence, reputation, or personality so much, that you consider them like a friend in your life - while the other person may not even know that you (the individual) exist.(Citation needed)
This comes as no shock that as Internet personalities rise to greater and greater heights, we invite these content creators into our brain space, televisions and laptop screens. Hell, during covid, their content could be a part of what helped us stay sane. But don't forget -- these people don't even really know you. Not well anyway.
So, today we see an instance where someone who is in a very visible eye in the Fimfiction community come to talk about what's going on in their life and vent. I'm not going to sit here and say that he censored himself in anyway-- but, I can see a story in my head that he was likely even holding things back because it shouldn't have been said on Fimfiction.
And that -right there- is immediately where we need to stop and inspect this parasocial relationship.
We do not know this person. Only what this person has chosen to put on the internet. So when we make this story in our head of what the writer was saying or feeling, we have no way of knowing it's the truth. In this case, Knighty vented about how unhappy he was. Some people made the story he was suicidal. Some people made the story that he was shutting down Fimfiction. And let me ask you this... How plausible now is the 'story' that now everyone reacting to his emotionally charged blog post -- is making him regret saying anything at all? That -- perhaps this isn't what he expected or wanted? Or -- without him specifying -- we may never know the truth. But the point is -- Next time he writes something on Fimfic -- he's likely to be much more aware of what he says -- because he wants people to react in the way that he expects.
And thus -- the parasocial relationship becomes more difficult to navigate.
When you're in a spot where you have a high follower count -- it's very common to feel like you can't share everything that's going on in your life. You want some privacy. But at the same time, when you develop fans -- it's very common to develop a sort of impostors syndrome. Where they don't really like -you-. They like the version of you that you've put on the internet. It's almost like you're a superhero, and you're keeping your hidden identity a secret. Sure, this person loves "Superman" but do they love "Clark Kent?"
It's my personal opinion that it takes a lot of emotional labor to keep a sort of relationship alive. And follower count is not a good measure of how many "parasocial relationships" someone has. But I think it's important to state here that if someone is writing something personal in their blog post, it's important to keep that information in the blog post contained and not begin to panic that the person is going to take some sort of action unless they say so. Because, inadvertently, you're creating a much bigger problem for them.
of course, it's not always cut and dried, for instance, if someone leaves a suicide note on fimfic -- yes. We're going to try and save your life. Because we care.
👏 Segues 👏 are 👏 HARD 👏
This also actually ties into another topic I've wanted to debunk for awhile here, So welcome to a second edition of "Priest soapboxes for way too long"
There is no "High Follower" Fimfiction secret society.
Rather, I should say, I don't think it exists anymore? Abyss had a server where he invited people but I jumped out because I dunno. I wasn't that active and I felt like an outsider so it felt better to slip out the back.
But that said -- It's fairly common to find High Follower count people become friends and recognize one another. And a lot of the topics I touched on in this blog are partially why -- When you have this... platform. Where people speak and listen to you and digest what you create -- There's a certain pressure that comes along with it. Every single high follower member has felt it at least once. Where they feel like they have some sense of 'duty'. This duty becomes even MORE large if they're giving you money via Patreon or something else.
We tend to bunch together and create friendships because we can all relate to that platform. And Cliques form because certain people choose to use the platform differently, hold it in different respects, have fundamental personality clashes, or hell. Just don't have good taste in memes.
I know I don't.
The moral of the story is be kind to the people who you follow and respect. It should be obvious but sometimes it needs to be said that sometimes creators want to just make things for themselves. The audience be damned.
You, be damned.
Wow, great job Priest. You told the reader they're a bad person. But you're not. Probably
Thanks for sharing this, dear friend of mine.
("Who the hay are you?")
🙃
Eh, he already said that won't happen but I can understand people's fear with that. Also, if I get followers and they enjoy my stories more power for them. I am really not here to become famous just to enjoy writing and get to know folks that enjoy stories.
5473779
Well put
5473779
That is a great attitude and mindset to have
5473787
I may not be a brony but I have seen what this horse fame does to people. So it's not something I really want but I still wish to write what makes folks happy and sometimes what I write may not please everyone. But what I write is for me and those that wish to read. Now thank you for this blog of course. You all have a wonderful day eh?
Insightful post, pretty accurate. It applies to almost all of the Internet and public life really, people get to know their image or idea of you rather than the real you. How many people "love" movie stars, whose very existence revolves around being paid to lie to the audience?
No our friendship is REAL
And LOVING
i.pinimg.com/originals/e8/83/6a/e8836a4e2ac618edddee89a0f461e5af.gif
Oh.....*ignites the Flutterpriest daki*
5473779
Incredibly well said and I agree with your viewpoint I’m the same if I end up making friends in here it’s a bonus but I just like to read write and comment on funny blog skits which lead me to making 2 friends with how off the rails our commentary get
5473927
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WAS FLATTERED AND LOVED IT
I live under a rock. What's this about people afraid the site will go down.
The link in the blog is dead.
5474075
Same, what’s going on?
5474143
5474075
If you want to read the blog post it's saved here. Some people believed that this indicated the site was closing down or that Knighty was suicidal, apparently.
5474237
I figured he'd delete it, sooner or later. Depression is a mindfuck.
5474237
Odd, the Archive won’t load for me.
Also why did people think that? It would take an act from Hasbro to shut this site down and so far they have been otherwise supportive of their community.
Also Knighty being Suicidal? What?
Oh, sure there isn't. (In fact, I'll bet that's the motto of the Three Thousand Horse Society...)
"I don’t feel like there’s anything worth living for. I’m grateful for my family and close friend group." "There are 2 days that effectively ended my life as far as I’m concerned and that’s that." These aren't things you can say and not have people worry you're going to hurt yourself. I off-handedly said something along those lines to a teaching assistant in study hall near the end of my senior year. They immediately walked me out of class, had me go the counselor. After talking with her, I couldn't come back to the school after talking to my psychiatrist, who was a nice guy to see me immediately the day after. It turned out, those were conversations I needed to have.
5475377
You have a really good point. And like I said in my blog -- if we feel like someone is going to end their life -- we're going to save you.
I think (in response to the blog) -- worrying about someone ending their own life is something that we are going to to try to help as a community -- but the "we're going to shut down the site" rhetoric is what I was more worried about. that could have been more clear in my blog.