PARODY: Tinder profiles of assorted ponies (and more)

Spoiled Rich, 51*

Looking for a: coltfriend

Interests: Stock trading, fine dining, gold digging

Mature lady with passive income, own home, and a summer home if I get it in the divorce settlement. Go out with me and I will give you stock tips to double your investments in six months, in any market.

Buy my book: The Artifice of the Deal: What Trump Got Wrong

*My profile picture was taken 20 years ago. However, I'm getting Botox and a facelift soon, and the doctor promises I'll look 20 years younger. So no, my photo is not deceptive.

Button Mash, 20

Looking for a: play partner

Interests: Video games, speedrunning

The fastest shooter around. My speedrun record is 4 minutes, 20 seconds. My secret? My specially modded gun, with it's thick and rounded tip. I shoot so fast, you’ll be flat on your back before you can even pull out your piece and cock.

...wait, this isn’t the Steam forum.

Did I accidentally open Tinder...!? Oh god! God, no. Shit. That sounded dirty, didn’t it?

Shitshitshitshit!!! How do I delete this!?

Winter Flame, 23

Looking for a: female kirin, dragon, or other fireproof creature

Interests: Singing, mane styling, sewing

Edit: YES I AM A STRAIGHT MALE. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I’M LYING!? LOOK AT THE CHEVRONS ON MY HORN! DO I NEED TO START A ONLYFANS ACCOUNT JUST SO I CAN PROVE TO Y’ALL I’M A GUY!?

Lonely kirin with a college degree, well-paying job, and my own fireproof apartment in Canterlot. Looking for a down-to-earth girlfriend who loves me for who I am and where I come from (and doesn’t mind a little “hot” sex ).

Cozy Glow, 34*
*Includes 15 years of petrification

Looking for a: coltfriend

Interests: Playing chess, making friends

Former villain, unpetrified and reformed into a Mary Sue by the biggest Mary Sue of all, Starlight Glimmer.

After years of trying to accrue as many friends as possible, today I'm looking to find just one very special friend. I have to see my probation officer on Thursday evenings, but I’m free during the rest of the week.

P.S., Date me if you want to appear on the new hit TV show “Love after Lockup: Equestria Edition”.

Wallflower Blush, 20

Looking for a: girlfriend

Interests: Gardening, Forest walks

I didn’t really want to come here, but my friends said I should try to go out more.

Well, here goes. I’m Wallflower Blush, and you can call me Sedum spectabile, because I’m a late bloomer. (That’s supposed to be a joke.)

I’m new to this whole romance thing (my friend helped me take my profile picture--does it look nice?), so please be gentle. That being said, I may seem shy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions about things.

Sci-Twi, 21

Looking for a: boyfriend

Interests: Astronomy, Data mining, Computer architecture

PhD student at Canterlot University. My recent data mining research shows that my most desirable traits to potential mates are as follows:

I have a 68.5% waist to hip ratio, I will split the bill at dinner, I won’t send you random texts at 2 in the morning while you’re asleep, and I do not have breast implants.

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(Image credits are hyperlinked in the picture.)

This was inspired by LunarRainbow07's story, big thanks to them! Story link here --> https://www.fimfiction.net/story/484607/starlight-glimmer-tries-a-dating-app

Who would you swipe right for...?

Comments

[Autumnblazelover61]

Princess Celestia, 1000+

Looking for a: Boyfriend
Interests: Ruling Equestria, cake, giving ponies wings when not needed, disappearing when IS needed,

I am a princess and the former ruler of Equestria. My sister Luna and I now reside at Silver Shoals where we enjoy surfing, paining, and inhaling and swallowing large quantities of cake.

[Luminous Grace]

Actually, both male and female kirin can have those kinds of chevrons, so no such luck. Poor Winter Flame, cursed to always be mistaken for a girl. Ah well, I bet many people think that's hot, I bet they'd love that OnlyFans account.

[Mica]

5416555

giving ponies wings when not needed, disappearing when IS needed

that's a sick burn
5416737
He is best trap.

[Super Trampoline]

5416791
Hey, a hole’s a hole!

[The Sleepless Beholder]

Sadly I don't possess the necessary gender for the one I love.

Also I think it needs adding:

Princess Luna, 999+

Looking for a: player two

Interests: console gaming (mosty co-op), MMORPGs.

Greeting loyal subject! Your princess wants to double her fun during her retirement, so you have the chance of being my player two.

PS: If you don't possess the necessary consoles I will gladly ship them over to you.