fJd Review: Love Letter by Nailah · 5:09pm Nov 2nd, 2020
Overview:
A letter from a mother to her daughters, detailing a troubled past and a happy ending.
My Thoughts:
Well, this was a sweet read. It didn’t really hold too well to the format of a letter, but I treated it as Melody Heart’s voice producing the narrative, and the reader assuming the letter’s words would fit. From that, it also read a little rough at times, but this just means that it needs a bit of polish to really shine.
The story of Melody Heart and Train Tracks is quite sweet. I don’t have a feel for where the story began, so I don’t know which city the karaoke bar was in. I know that she ended up in Ponyville, and that brought us to the only canon character written into the story: Pinkie Pie.
Happily, she did not outshine the OC cast at all. Melody and Train held center stage firmly and continued their love story, as told from Melody’s point of view, until the moment of the letter’s conclusion.
Characterization:
Original Characters
Melody Heart
Mother to Snow Heart and Frost Heart, with ambitions to sing for Celestia herself, and a somewhat naïve, youthful heart gone into whichever city she was a resident of. A tragic start leads to a lovely chance meeting, and love is in the air.
Train Tracks
The humble earth pony rail worker who helps Melody out when she’s lost and hurting and confused. He’s good to her, it shows clearly in his interactions with her. The romance in general had my thinking of my own grandparents, and that was a warm, fuzzy feeling not to be missed.
Character Development:
Melody goes through some very difficult times, gets very badly hurt, and comes out fairly well and with somepony she’s fallen for hard. Train is Train, he doesn’t really have to evolve, he starts out as the “right guy” for Melody and simply shows more of that as he goes.
Theme:
Love. Rise from the Ashes. Tell the dark secret. Shattered Dreams, and New Dreams. All told through a letter from mother to daughters. The big thing is wondering whether or not her daughters ever knew about their mother’s tragic past, and if they’ll be hunting down some stallions for sport soon. But, aside from that, the romance and charm of this story cannot be overstated.
Logic:
Sneaking out results in a tragic event in the life of Melody Heart, but it also leads to a very happy discovery as well. It sort of rounds out in a way that is fairly unique to places like Equestria, and that’s very charming. All told, the logic in this story is not lacking. It flows well, it is pretty well paced, and so it had a terrific way about being told and making sense.
Rating:
Story Idea: 8.0
(All OCs are not my cup of tea, but this was a good read. I can hardly rate or criticize the ideas for characters I don’t know all that well, but from what I read it was a pretty solid premise.)
Writing Style: 7.0
(A little clunky, a little telly. At times, the writing was harder to process and read, though such times were very far and few between. A little polish, some help from an editor to smooth out the rough edges, and this can really shine.)
Entertainment Factor: 8.0
(Overall a feel-good story with dark elements and tragic bents that rounds out into a sweet, sappy, happy ending for the heroin. It kept me invested all the way through, pulling me in continuously.)
Inner Logic: 9.0
(Not really any complaints to address here. I wasn’t sure how to take the existence of both the Castle of Friendship and the Golden Oaks Library simultaneously, but that’s a negligible issue at best.)
Final: 8.00
Feedback/Final Thoughts:
A very sweet story indeed. It didn’t really seem to stay on track with the idea of being a letter, but it also didn’t lose anything for that. I’d suggest adding some manner of transition between the end of the letter and the last paragraph, for distinction’s sake.
Otherwise, a good read and I’d recommend this to anyone.
