Short Hand: Dashie 2 · 2:14pm Oct 28th, 2020
As Zephyr is licking some frosting out of his mane before putting it back into a man bun...
Zephyr: "Heyyyy! You're that human, right? Sheepherder or something?"
Shepherd: "... Shepherd, and yes. You are?"
Zephyr: "I'm Fluttershy's big brother, Zephyr Breeze! Great to meet you!"
Fluttershy: "He's my younger brother, um, actually."
Zephyr: "Wow! So, do you like to party? Do humans like to party? Because I've got to say man, it would be so cool to go partying with a guy who knows the princesses personally! I mean, you get perks at the nightclubs, right?"
Shepherd: "I've never found out."
Zephyr: "That's cool, we'll find out together! Me and Dashie can go with you and Shy!" low voice "I know she's kind of homely but it would be a major solid for me if you made her happy, huh?"
Fluttershy: "Um, actually, we've been-"
Zephyr: "Super! Anyway, it was a long flight from Cloudsdale to here. I'm chilling out. So Dashie, wanna share this cake with me? We can share the frosting~?"
Dash: twitch "No... Thank you..."
Zephyr: "Come on! It'll be fun! Fluttershy and Shepherd can just head out for a while." Again low voice "Thank you dude, she can be such a pain and I'd appreciate it sooo much."
Dash: "Ah... Shepherd can't! Because my coltfriend is taking me out tonight!" She hugs Shepherd. Zephyr's face goes down in flames
Zephyr: "Wha-What?!"
Dash: "Yes! Shepherd's my coltfriend! We're madly in love! So sorry Zephyr, really, it breaks my heart but hey! Love right?" She hugs Shepherd more tightly
Zephyr: "You... You mean... You're dating... Someone else?"
Dash: Shooting the most desperate look she can at Shepherd
Shepherd: Looks over at Fluttershy
Fluttershy: Nods firmly
Shepherd: "... Yes. She is. So, not to be rude but would you kindly stop hitting on my marefriend?"
Zephyr: "I... It... Yeah... Sure..." He turns and trots off, dejected
Dash: "... Ohhh thank you thank you thank you!" Kisses him "Mm! Fluttershy? You are the best friend I could ever have!" She hugs Fluttershy "Thank you!"
Fluttershy: "It's all right Dash. I completely understand."
Shepherd: "Me too..." Looks at Fluttershy "I mean, no offense, he is your brother-"
Fluttershy: "Yes. And I love him. But I'm hoping that this will help him start getting his life together. I mean, he used the money mom and dad gave him for work supplies for this cake."
Shepherd: "Geez... Well, let's hope it sets him on the right path."
TWO DAYS LATER...
Shepherd was playing with Chewie, Rainbow Dash, the CMCs and the other school fillies and colts in a nearby meadow. The big cat grumbled a bit, but he did like how all the foals thought he was cool and stroked his mane. Rainbow Dash was doing an air show, while Shepherd was teaching some other kids how to tie knots from an old Boy Scout manual.
Soon, there is a clattering, clanking sound as someone trots into the meadow.
Zephyr: "Ahem... SER SHEPHERD!"
Shepherd: "Hm? Oh, hey Zephyr."
The pegasus is decked out in cosplay armor and holding a spear... The wrong way around.
Zephyr: "I challenge you to an epic duel! For the hoof of the beautiful maiden Rainbow Dash! TO THE DEATH!"
Shepherd: "... Can it wait until after snacks?"
Zephyr: "NO!"
PleasepleasePLEASE! pull an Indiana Jones on this moron.
So... does he have a three-foot-long prehensile tongue, or is he combing it out first? I mean, yes, this works for the longer parts of the mane, but near the roots? The mind boggles.
Envying the intelligence of goblins is a bad place to be.
Yeah, Breeze is a dead pony.
5387560
I think his mane was just down and the ends got dragged through the frosting a little bit. Though the mental image of Zephyr with a three-foot tongue does make for some interesting nightmare fuel...
Well, that "rivalry" didn't last long. A shame that he didn't live long enough to get his redemption arc.
Well, this isn't going to end well for the NEET pony.
Alternate ending:
Zephyr: "I challenge you to an epic duel! For the hoof of the beautiful maiden Rainbow Dash! TO THE DEATH!"
Shepherd: "Fine. Chewy, sic em."
Chewy: *Grumbles*
Shepherd: "You don't have to swallow, just chew him up and spit him out...literally."
5387716
Expands on the old crack theory that Fluttershy is part dragon. If she is, he might be.