Beanis: A Retrospective · 5:15pm Oct 17th, 2020
So. It's finally over.
For those who somehow remained blissfully unaware...
Several years ago now, Majin Syeekoh published a short story called 'Beware of Beanis'. The story was nothing more or less than Sunset Shimmer reacting to Sci-Twi making a magical dildo out of beans for their friend Rainbow Dash. And her reaction was the same as most of the audience- horror, revulsion, confusion, and strange fascination.
From those humble- and very stupid- origins, an entire universe blossomed into being. At first, it was just Majin and Fuzzyfurvert trying to out-stupid each other. But then others joined in. And eventually, a group of authors formed, working together to craft the BCU.
Beanis Cinematic Universe has always been a bit of a misnomer, but I suppose BLU doesn't quite roll off the tongue in the same way. Unless you were to pronounce it as 'Blew'. Hmm.
In any case, my involvement in the writing portion of the BCU didn't start for quite a while. Not until after the middle of Steven Universe season 5 aired, and my brain decided to combine Sunset's geode powers with the plot of 'A Single Pale Rose'.
To great success!
A Single Pale Beanis is still one of my best stories. And of the three I've written for the BCU, probably the one that fits the best. When I initially wrote ASPB, I had no plans beyond that. I never expected anything other than vague approval and getting stuffed into the 'fanworks' folder of the BCU group on FimFic. Instead, Majin invited me into the main group.
I have regretted it ever since.
Kidding!
Mostly.
But the other authors were very helpful, very supportive, and very inspiring. Truly, I hope we all get the chance to work on other projects together in the future.
Regarding my other Beanis stories.
Children of the Bean failed to meet my own expectations. I wanted to write a horror-comedy about the cultists, but it never solidified in a satisfying way. What I wrote wasn't terrible, but I wish I'd put more thought into it.
BEANSLAYERS, on the other hand/hoof...
Two years. That's how long I was working on that story. It went through more changes than I can count. By the time I finished writing it, I didn't even know if it was a good idea anymore.
But now that it's finished? I love it. It just... works. In every way. I feel like it has solidified my writing style for the foreseeable future. Obviously I wish I'd finished it sooner. But I turned out a product that- dare I say it?- I am proud of. In a way that I don't think anything can take away from.
Let's step away from my work for a minute, and just acknowledge all the effort put in by Beanis' other authors. Here's a list, for everyone who wants one:
- Majin Syeekoh
- Fuzzyfurvert
- DwarvishPony
- MagnetBolt
- Ebola-chan Gambatte
- Oroboro
- AppleTank
- Mythril Moth
- MrNumbers
- shallow15
- R5h
- FanOfMostEverything
- Cyrano
- Flash Notion [hey, that's me!]
- CapNTilfy
- Undome Tinwe
- Goldenwing
- The Eroticator
- Thought Prism
Beanis was attracting new authors even into its third and final phase. I can't say what the allure was for them. I've written all kinds of things, and when I have an idea I need to get it out of my head. That's all it was. But if I had to guess? Beanis let people write whatever they wanted. It could be dumb, it could be smart, it could be complex, it could be simple. It was a way to experiment, free of real judgment. Beyond giving your stories basic grammar and stuff like that, there were no standards.
If it was anything else, it would have to be the opportunity to have some... unusual character interactions. And I don't mean in a sexual way. I mean in a 'these two characters have never met in any other work' kind of way. Wallflower and Tempest Shadow. Sunset Shimmer and Pharynx. In my own story, Aria Blaze and Juniper Montage. BEANSLAYERS is literally the only story on the site that tags both of those characters. There are a couple that tag Juniper and the Dazzlings, but that doesn't mean Juniper and Aria even interact in those.
At the end of the day, Beanis was weird. Its stories had every tone imaginable, included most of the characters from FiM/Equestria Girls, and were about magic bean dildos. Most people will probably either forget about it or purposefully block the memory of it. And yet it was a good thing that it existed. I hope that, in the future, more stories like Beanis appear. Stories that are so off-the-wall batshit insane that they capture the hearts and minds of the site's users. Stories where anything can- and does- happen.
I hope I can maybe write a couple of them.
P.S. Just because the Main Beanis story is over, doesn't mean you can't write more! Fanworks folder is still open!
I joined the BCU because I thought it was absolutely hilarious, and I wanted to be a part of it.
It was an honor to write with you, and I again thank you for your help on Hole-y Frijoles.
Stay shiny!
Honestly, I started from the title Men are from Mars, Women are from Beanis and worked out a plot to justify it. I didn't expect Flash to go where and do what he did, but it wouldn't be the BCU if it didn't exceed all expectations in the best/worst way possible.
I am sorry I didn't engage with the rest of group afterwards, but this was still a delight to watch.