Short Hand: The Human Archives 6 · 2:19am Sep 27th, 2020
Back in the human archives, Shepherd is once again going around and checking vaults. Twilight Sparkle is trotting alongside him.
Twilight: "Okay... So that ghost was a bit troublesome. But that doesn't mean every human artifact is going to be trouble! That's statistically improbable!"
Shepherd: "I don't know why, but being human might just throw it all off."
Twilight: "Hm? Low level reality and probability warping? That would be fascinating to explore! Perhaps we should go back to my lab-!"
Shepherd: sigh "Fine, let's check out this vault."
Twilight: pouts "Come on! Is being in my lab really that bad?"
Shepherd: "You electrocuted me. Three times."
Twilight: "Two of those times were accidents!"
Shepherd: opens the next vault "Hm... Well... Nothing in here but a gray stuffed animal."
He walks up to it and picks it up.
Shepherd: "Huh! Looks familiar..."
Stuffed Animal: "Begging your pardon, but I'm a donkey. Not that I'd fault you for not being able to tell. Seeing as I'm not a very good example of the breed."
Shepherd: "... Eeyore?!"
Eeyore: "Have we met before? Sorry if I forgot. My memory's not very good, I'm afraid."
Shepherd: "Uh, no. But I'm... Familiar with you. How did you end up here, anyway?"
Eeyore: "Don't rightly know."
Twilight: "Wait wait wait! The records clearly state that you were utterly inanimate and didn't respond to any attempts at communication when you were found and archived!"
Eeyore: "Didn't want to raise a fuss. Besides, the ponies around here were so nice, I didn't want to interrupt them. Gave me my own room and everything. Not much of a view, but why complain? I probably wouldn't be able to appreciate it anyway."
Shepherd: "I am having so many conflicting emotions right now. But... Er, would it be all right if I gave you a hug?"
Eeyore: "Not sure what you'll get out of it, but go ahead."
Shepherd: hugs him "Aw. You were always my favorite, Eeyore."
Twilight: "Your favorite what? Depressed donkey?"
Eeyore: "Would hate to think there were donkeys more depressed than me you'd like."
Oh my heart. The local museum has an exhibit on Winnie the Pooh right now and I'm desperate to go and see it all. Somehow I'm going to carve out some time to go and hang from a blue balloon with Pooh.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_original_Winnie_the_Pooh_toys.jpg
A shame that the original Roo toy was lost in an orchard somewhere in the 1930s. A Library Of Alexandria-tier or Dr. Who serial taped over-tier loss, that was.
Welcome back pal
D'aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww
OKAY
So Eeyore is part of the cast now....RIGHT?!?
Eeyore is in dire need of a Fluttershy, stat.
Welcome back, Eeyore. Glad to have you here.
No one tell Shepherd about the version of Equestria where the donkey nation is literally named Eeyorus. I don't think his heart could take it.
We all wanted to give Eeyore a hug.
...Well, the sociopaths didn't. They probably thought him funny.
5365181
A nation named after him? Wow. He'd just shut down completely, heh. No way he can process that.
I always liked Eeyore too. Dealing with my own depression helps.
(... I connect to Eeyore on a spiritual level and share Shepherd's desire to hug him.)