I may be rambling. · 3:43pm Sep 23rd, 2020
It's funny, as I've always loved siege stories. Helm's Deep, Assault on Precinct 13, Night of the Living Dead, Roarke's Drift, The Alamo-- and so on. Something about a small group of survivors holding out against a numerically larger threat is just compelling. Though it's a little less appealing when you've been living one for the last couple months. Oof.
Honestly, though, I'm lucky. I'm in a position where I can just hunker down-- which, uh, has been what I've been doing since March. It hasn't been full-on siege mode, I suppose, as I make occasional excursions for supply runs. Masked, of course. But I haven't sat down inside a restaurant or a bar since at least March. Which is nothing to say of going on neat trips to cons or whatever. And to think, back in January, I was vaguely considering going to EFNW. Woops.
I'm gonna be mad if the last convention I ever attend is Bronycon 2019. Rassumrfassum.
Still! I've been ... trying to make good use of my time? Kinda? If nothing else, I've learned how to bake a pretty decent pizza crust from scratch, so that's something. I've also been slowly painting the piles o' minis I've accumulated over the years. I've actually got a decent amount of 40k Imperial Guard painted up-- though for variety, I've switched to the big pile of Reaper Bones minis I got off of a kickstarter a few years back. Incidentally, painting a half naked chainmail bikini lady is can be more interesting than yet another guardsman with a lasgun. Who knew?
Also! Speaking of 40k, I went ahead and read a 40k novel. One of the few 40k novels that's actually canon, I might add, as everything else is propaganda. Death or Glory is the 4th Ciaphas Cain book-- a series that's influenced by Fraser's Flashman novels, which (if you've been paying attention) was also the inspiration for the best fanfic series nobody reads, The Flash Sentry Papers.
And, uh. It was kind of interesting, as in reading Death or Glory, I kept thinking "you know, I can do better than this." Though really, the thing about Death or Glory is that it's ... just not as good as the other ones in the series. Oh, sure, it's got Cain being the same entertainingly unreliable narrator he always is. Buuuut, there's no twist to it. It's just a bog-standard "trapped behind enemy lines" Mil-SF story that I've read several times before (and usually published by Baen). Other Cain novels have increasingly nastier things trying to kill him (not to mention the occasional gloriously shameless pun), so they're a bit more entertaining than 'and then we fought more orks.' But hey, guess they all can't be winners.
Still, I found it kind of interesting to compare Death or Glory to my own work, 'cause I'm a shameless hack like that. And instead of the Mil-SF standard, I've used my own hapless hero to dabble in other genres, which has been fun. Though this reminds me, I still need to write Sentry's Last Stand one of these days ... but I'm kind of waiting for S9 to drop on Netflix so it's easier to do research? Or, well, that's my excuse.
Speaking of writing, though, I've been chipping away at ORIGINAL fiction for the last while. Which is going ... alright? Though I'm actually writing this blog post as a form of procrastination, as per the usual. Still, once I hit the 'post' button, I'm gonna go work on it ... any minute now.
Really.
But enough about me-- how are you nerds holding up?
not good, my friend, not good :/
At first, I misread that as "chainsaw bikini lady," and now I'm vaguely disappointed.
And yeah, it is fun to contrast your Flash and Cain. Cousins of sorts, in a very strange sense.
I've been holding up well enough. Been able to work from home since late March, and I've had the chance to actually go play Magic at my local game store in recent months. They have a strict mask policy, mandatory squirts of hand sanitizer between rounds, and other entirely reasonable requirements for getting to play face-to-properly-covered-face.
I've also been playing a lot more on the Switch as a way to inject some variety into my life. Animal Crossing kept me sane through the spring. Right now, I'm working through Octopath Traveler, a nicely thick JRPG with a different plot line for each of the eight playable characters.
I feel very hikikomori right now. Which, to be honest is not that different from how I normally am, but prior to the Pandemic, it was a choice rather than a crippling societal/mental issue unlike the current life or death situation. Basically, I didn't get out much prior, but now I only get out for essentials. When this is over, I feel like there will be culture shock as people begin to reintegrate.
Keeping busy. Desperately keeping busy. Involved in more projects than I can keep track of in an attempt not to think about the plague, the raging fiery death just up the hill, and the impending civil war. Y'know... about the usual.
You shouldn't be surprised at the relative quality of the stories. Yes, it's all too easy to equate professionally published work with quality, but that's just not the case. The vast majority of pro work is selected to fill a niche, not because of quality. And that's because there are people who buy nearly every (insert sub-genre here) novel published. They don't care about quality, they care about scratching an itch.
The publishers know this, and will put out just as many of those books as their customers can afford to buy. This isn't limited to Star Wars, Dragon Lance, 40K, Babysitter's Club, etc. Steven King is a genre. Meaningful Relationship Angst as seen in The New Yorker is just another slot to fill.
So why do so many books fail to achieve the level of craftsmanship you can easily find here on this fanfic site? "Pro" authors need to have two very important qualities. First, they need to be able to crank out the work on a regular schedule, no matter what. Not feeling good today? Too bad. Shit out that next chapter! Second, (and this is the most critically important) they have to have friends in the publishing industry to get them in the door.
Quality? Oh, sure they need to be basically competent, but no more than that. None of the people passing judgement on their work knows what makes a story great rather than just good or barely passable, so they'll concentrate on rules of grammar and punctuation as a touchstone instead. And with the majority of their customers being people who value subject over substance, who's to say they're wrong?
And here we are, (some of us, at any rate) people who love the craft of story-telling and who are working our asses off for little or no reward but the sheer delight of making fun stories. Is it any wonder that stuff you find here can be better on many levels than professionally published work? It's a wonder it doesn't happen more often!
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On the one hand, I get the whole "but my fanfic's better than this!" aspect of a lot fo things. Lord knows there's a mess of actually published authors I will happily throw shade at for various reasons.
On the other, I wouldn't recommend getting TOO much into this mindset. Like, I've seen multiple people on this website and/or at cons who are like "I only read fanfic!" Which, uh ... at least you're reading? But at the same time, while there's a lot of crap out there (as always), there's a LOT of exciting stuff coming out these days. At least, a lot of stuff in the sci-fi/fantasy genre, which I'm most familiar with. Fantasy, in particular, has done a lot to "grow up" as a genre. It's a lot queerer, it's a lot less white, and it's got a lot of really solid ideas, as opposed to the Tolkien-pastiche that dominated the genre for decades.
Likewise, I can see it being easy to fall into the "fanfic is superior!' trap, as if you're following my blog that obviously means you are a reader of the most discerning tastes. And, while it may be true that I'm pretty great, and there are a bunch of fanfic writers who are even better at it than I am ... Sturgeon's Law still applies: "Ninety percent of
FiMFictioneverything is crud." Like, it's not hard to find an insultingly bad anon self-insert crossover clopfic on this website.So yeah. Every genre and medium's gonna have a mix of good and bad, is what I'm saying. Just a matter of focusing on the good, I suppose.
And, in interest of that, I'm theoretically gonna go back to working on this sci-fi wuxia monster that I've been tinkering around with for the last couple months. Whoo.
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Incidentally, Warhammer 40k does feature chainsaw bikini ladies. They're called the Sisters Repentia. Though the current minis are a lot less cheesecakey as the old sculpts. Also I don't play Sisters. Or, well, I don't play much of ANY 40k right now, but at least I've got a bunch of painted up models now?
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Oh, I'm a firm believer in Sturgeon's law,* and as far as fanfic is concerned there has to be some sort of force multiplier involved. Anyone who says they only read fanfic is acknowledging that they are part of the population for whom subject matter always trumps skill.
But... 90% of what is professionally published is still carp. I'm afraid I can't agree with you about the state of modern fantasy/scifi.** Yes, there are a lot of things being published now that are queerer and less white, and hooray for diversity and realistic representation. But Sturgeon's law still applies. A badly written book with a diverse cast, or one that escapes all the old and tired Tolkienesque tropes by slavishly adhering to the new and fashionable tropes is still a badly written book. If I have to wade through the first ten pages and am bored and unengaged, it's a bad book.***
Yes, on the whole, professionally published stuff tends to be a lot better than amature work. What I'm saying is that there's a lot more overlap than people are willing to admit.
So get busy and produce that well-written sci fi monster! You've got a track record of Being Not Boring, and the more you produce, the better off we'll all be!
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* In fact, I think Sturgeon was too optimistic in assigning the estimated percentage.
** Mainly thanks to free samples for kindle, I have not gone broke finding this out for myself.
*** The Subject Trumps Skill crowd are always eager to cry, "It takes a while to get started, but it's worth it." or "It gets a lot better in the third season." This is a sure sign of horrible writing.
Oh hey I finally started painting 40k since quarantine gives you so much time alone, and previously i couldnt justify that when i should be out socializing. It's both easier/harder than i thought, but it's cool to see each mini improve from the last. Going to have to order an airbrush now.
I do remember reading Death or Glory! I remember liking it, but rereading the synopsis yeah it seems uncharacteristically straightforward, especially for the 4th book. Was it ever explained what the dead mechanicus dudes were about? They're my boys so i feel obligated to ask after them. I'm on the latest omnibus but took a bit of a break on it. Likewise, it took me foreeeever to finish the first Gaunts omnibus. Going to have to sleep on those ones.
It is kind of fun to read the original material people base their fics here off of. Mitch's black company pastiche on here is not just better mechanically and more entertaining, but it is far far far more coherent and the world more thought out than it's source material. There's even some kind of cringe clancy inspired ponies with guns stuff on here, that, wouldnt you know it, is in many ways better than his actual books.
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And naturally, I have to take this as something of a challenge. ;)
As again, there's a lot of exciting stuff coming out these days. Such as ...
Steven Brust's The Baron of Magister Valley, which is a follow up to his absolutely wonderful Khaavren Romances. Fantasy. Spot on Dumas pastiche, down to the chapter titles. If you like the Flash Sentry Papers, I bet you'll love these. Honestly Baron isn't quite as good as the earlier books in the series (starting with The Phoenix Guards) but it's still an utterly delicious read.
Another hot writer these days is Tamsyn Muir, starting with her debut novel, Gideon the Ninth. It's a weird mashup of a novel that bounces between a whole bunch of different genres: cynical grimdark, teenage YA snark, Agatha Christie-esque whodunnit, Alien-style horror, and swashbuckling adventure. It's also about Goth Necromancer Sword-Lesbians. The first bit of the book is a bit of a grind, but once it gets going it's a really engrossing read. I haven't read the sequel Harrow the Ninth yet, but I hear it goes into a bunch of weird and metatextual directions.
Or! In a personal fave, Fonda Lee's Jade City and its sequel Jade War are all kinds of fun. They're Asian-inspired fantasy, in which clans of Jade-magic-kung-fu powered gangsters fight over who will rule an island vaguely reminiscent of 70's era Hong Kong. It's like The Godfather, as directed by Tsui Hark. I'm a sucker for Asian fantasy to begin with, but these books are even better than I expected.
Or! October's coming up! So what better time to read a horror novel? In which case I can't recommend Grady Hendrix's We Sold Our Souls enough. It's a brutal heavy-metal horror novel that digs down into just how fucked up modern society is-- but at the same time offers a glimpse of how people can find solace in music. And not just metal, either-- there's an absolutely great sequence late in the book about Dolly Parton. The book's something of a harrowing read, but it still manages to end on a hopeful, triumphant note. I honestly need to read some more Hendrix-- he's got a vampire novel that just came out, which should be fun. Though I will say his non-fiction book, Paperbacks From Hell is an absolutely essential look into the history of schlocky and exploitative horror novels. Or, well, essential if you're into that sorta thing.
Admittedly, this is just a couple of books, but there are plenty more where those came from. It's an exciting time to be a SF/F fan-- so long as you know where to look!
At least you're not as bad as my dad, who keeps re-reading the same old Doc Smith books over and over again ... :)
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What army are you painting?
There are a whole bunch of tutorials to be found on Youtube, which may help, especially if you're just starting out. Myself, I'm only at the level where I'll claim to be half decent, but I'm not quite as intimidated by painting minis as I was before. I've kinda gotten into the habit of pulling up a podcast or some TV show on Netflix and painting at least one mini a day-- gets to be kind of calming to work with one's hands, y'know?
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Admech. I'm kind of combining tutorials. Primarily the warhammer tv how to paint skitari + this one for how to paint them blue and the tips from the decade old how to paint book pdf (sold separately, of course) and another tutorial for blue NMM.
I'm doing the serbrys raiders right now. It's both nerve wracking doing it without a tutorial but freeing that since I'm bound not to be completely happy with my first one on a made up color scheme i can just have fun slapping some paint on and seeing what looks good.
Yes, I too am glad this turned out to be a hobby i do to relax, not one i have to drag myself to maintain, like yoga.
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I adore Steven Brust's work and have been reading him forever!
Fonda Lee's Jade City sounds like a lot of fun! I will check it out.
The Tamsyn Muir book sounds like... everything I hate about modern fantasy, to be honest. Despite the promising "Goth Necromancer Sword-Lesbians," it sounds like an unfocused mish-mash of regurgitated mass media. I will download the sample, but I don't hold out much hope, particularly because you said, "The first bit of the book is a bit of a grind, but once it gets going..." This is exactly the unfortunate hallmark I mentioned earlier.
We Sold Our Souls... well, I don't much care for horror, and I know all too well just how fucked up modern society is, so I'll give this one a miss.
I don't want to leave you with the impression that I'm a cranky old fart who hates everything new. I just hate 90% of it. Of course, I hate 90% of everything, and pretty much always have, so at least I'm consistent.
Doc Smith? Oh, sweet baby Jeebus!
Work, gaming, writing, drawing, family stuff... Rinse repeat, wash hands again for safe measure.
...As opposed to sturgeons law: ninety percent of freshwater fish are carp.