Another Year · 3:51pm Aug 23rd, 2020
First, I want to apologize to everyone for not updating much. Life has been hectic, and I've been attempting to work on as much as I can. Unfortunately yesterday was mostly a non-productive day. Besides having to play exterminator in our home and spray (One of our neighbors had did the same to her home, and basically she chased everything that was crawling around in there to the homes next to hers. So, we retruned the favor) I also had to deal with just a hard day.
Yesterday was my Dad's seventy-third birthday. It would have been a great accomplishment. A fantastic one, knowing that a Vietnam Era Veteran made it to his seventies. The problem was that my Dad passed away in 2013. I always promise myself that I'm not going to fall apart, and I always promise myself that I won't pull out the self destructive tendencies that I fought so hard against when I first lost dad. The problem is that those inner demons sure make those tendencies sound appealing.
Most of the time I know that I'm my own worst enemy. And most of the time I find myself at odds with myself. Luckily I didn't give in, and I didn't submit. "Never give up, never surrender." It's hard because each year, despite promising myself that I won't fall apart, I find myself doing just that. And each year it does an emotional toll on me. I love her, but my wife really doesn't get it. I honestly hope that it's an incredibly long time before she does. Anyway, here I am, going on, carrying on, I want to thank all of you for reading this. It was something that I felt that I needed to get out.
