Unfinished Story: Aftermath of Discord

Oh boy, where do I begin with this one...I wrote this fic during that phase of the fandom's development when everybody and their grandmother were writing grimdark fics. Rereading this fic, I can immediately see a lot of areas where I should have stepped back and asked myself if it was worth writing in the first place. I remember writing this fic because, being a self-absorbed little shit at the time, I somehow took the ponies' behavior in the season 2 opening as a personal insult. This fic is what happens when someone with an underdeveloped emotional maturity decides they know better than a show's creators and tries to address topics that they are in no way qualified to address. and then in the middle of the fic, I decided to make it a pseudo-crossover with the video game adaptation of Dante's Inferno. In the hands of a better author, this story might have worked, but it definitely shows a lack of understanding of the characters I was writing about and how character motivation in general works, and an overall lack of rationality, and I was the wrong person to talk about some of the topics inherent to this fic. Perhaps the worst part is that this story is just depressing to read.

Rated M for emotional abuse, gore, torture, language, and implied non-con and suicide.

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Aftermath of Discord

One week had passed since Twilight Sparkle and her friends had defeated Discord.  The six were celebrated as heroes, and every pony in Equestria looked up to them.  Things had gone back to normal remarkably quickly since the event; AJ had resumed her work on the farm, Pinkie was planning parties at the drop of a hat, Rarity had gone back to making dresses, Fluttershy was caring for her animals, Rainbow Dash practiced her aerobatics, and Twilight Sparkle continued her studies in the magic of friendship with more vigor than ever before.  However, one pony felt that the happiness of the six was undeserved, and her plan would soon come to fruition.  As Derpy Doo approached Sweet Apple Acres, she began to wish that anypony else could take her place that day.
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Applejack was sitting down to lunch when Big Macintosh walked in with the mail.
“Sis, you got a package,” the draft pony muttered as he placed the box before her.  There was a scroll attached to the outside.
“Another one?”  Since the defeat of Discord, more and more ponies had been sending her letters and gifts.  The earth pony had repeatedly stated that she had not expected any reward, but she was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.  “Well, better see who it’s from.”  As she looked at the box, she noticed that there was no return address.  Her curiosity piqued, she unrolled the scroll and began to read.

Applejack, 
Thank you for helping to defeat Discord and save Equestria from certain doom.  You have remained true to yourself and to your friends in the face of crisis…is what I would have said, had it been true.  However, you and I both know what really happened in the labyrinth.  You were told that you could ask any one question, and yet the most obvious query never even occurred to you; “where are the Elements of Harmony and how do we get to them?”  Instead, you questioned the outcome of your mission.  Why would you, of all ponies, have had doubts?  Have you no faith in your friends?  After everything you have been through together, you doubted your success?  I suppose your skepticism was not unfounded, considering that you chose to withhold the truth, when you could have simply told them what you saw and thus taken action to prevent such an outcome.  Instead, your refusal to tell the truth resulted in exactly the future that you saw.  Your lies would have led to the end of your friendship had it not been for Twilight Sparkle’s actions.  The truth hurts, but a deceitful tongue is far more dangerous.  Enclosed in this box is something that I hope will serve as a reminder of the mistakes you have made.
“What the hay?”  Applejack stared at the letter in confusion.  There was no signature, and she did not recognize the sender’s hoof writing.  Who would send something like this?  Who would have even known something like this?  As far as she knew, the only ones who had even been in the labyrinth at the time were herself, her friends, and Discord.  Opening the box only furthered her confusion as she lifted out her Element of Honesty, which she had returned to Princess Celestia with the others after the ceremony.  Did the princess do this?  If that were the case, why was it not adorned with the royal seal?  She then noticed something else in the box.  Picking up the small, somewhat flattened, oblong object, she found that it appeared to be made of stone, and forked at one end, with a sticky, dark brown stain on the opposite end.  “Oh horse apples!”  All color drained from her face as she recoiled; dropping the object back into the box.  She had been holding Discord’s severed tongue.
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Pinkie Pie was busy making cupcakes when the voice of Mr. Cake met her ears.
    “Pinkie, would you please check the mailbox?”
    “Okie Dokie Lokie!”  Happily bouncing outside, she was delighted to find a package, with a scroll attached.  “Yay, another present!  And it’s not even my birthday!  This calls for a party!”  Bouncing back into the sweets shop, she took the box up to her room and read the note.

Pinkie Pie,
Thank you for your help in the fight against Discord.  You can always be counted on to do what is most important in your friends’ time of need…I apologize, but I could not write that sentence with a straight face.  When you were confronted in the labyrinth, you allowed anger to consume you.  You lost sight of your Laughter, and for what; something as petty as being pushed into the mud?  I thought you were better than that.  Worse yet, Discord brought chaos and anarchy to our fair land, and what did you do?  You embraced it.  Celestia called you and the others to Canterlot in the hopes that you would set things right, but you just had to enjoy the chocolate milk raining from cotton candy clouds.  The Elements of Harmony had been stolen, and what was your response?  To abandon your mission and guzzle more chocolate milk.  It mattered not that others were suffering, or that Applejack’s crops were ruined, or that the animals were out of control.  No, why should you care about consequences when a stranger is offering you sweets?  With your eating habits, it is a wonder that you have not succumbed to diabetic shock.  Even when Twilight Sparkle had gathered you and the others and brought you back to your senses, you simply could not bring yourself to finish the job without having one last indulgence, could you?  Mistakes like that can get ponies KILLED, Pinkamena Diane Pie, and you should count yourself fortunate that Discord did not take that opportunity to stop all of you; else the blood of your friends would be on your hooves.  It is clear to me that you have learned nothing from your time spent under Discord’s influence, and I hope for the sake of everypony else in Equestria, that we never have to rely on you to save us again.  Your family would be ashamed of you if they saw what you had done.  I hope the item in this box will ensure that you keep your sweet tooth under control.
    For the first time since Discord got to her, Pinkie did not feel like laughing.  She had almost destroyed their chances of success, over some stupid chocolate milk?  And why had she gotten so angry about being laughed at?  Normally she would just turn it into something she could laugh about herself, so why had she let it bother her then?  Well, she would not let it happen again.  A smile began to return to her lips as she began to open the box.  Never again would she let her friends down.  If she was supposed to represent laughter, then by golly she was going to laugh!  And nothing would stop her from—her hair deflated as the sight of the box’ contents met her eyes.  At that moment, she felt no joy, no laughter, no hope; she could only cry in anguish.  Inside the box, encircled by the Element of Laughter, was a large, petrified fang; a part of the bloodied gum line hanging from its root.
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Rarity was working on her latest masterpiece when her sister walked in with the day’s mail.
    “Sis, you got another package!”
    “Thank you Sweetie Belle.”  There was no return address, but she had been receiving flowers and boxes of chocolate from secret admirers even before the incident, and the number of gifts she received each day had only increased since then.  Chuckling to herself, she began to read the attached note.

Rarity,
Thank you for your aid in the fight against Discord.  Your actions played a pivotal role in the events that took place during his brief return…I do not think you could possibly have been more of a hindrance to the others if you had tried.  You were supposed to be the Element of Generosity, and yet you allowed yourself to be consumed by greed?  Moreover, you succumbed to Discord’s influence more quickly than any of the others.  But of course, who cares about the fate of Equestria when somepony is waving a shiny stone in front of your face?  Even if that rock had been a diamond, the fact remains that you took it from the royal labyrinth; regardless of its nature, it was not yours to take.  You even forced Twilight Sparkle to carry your stolen burden when you yourself could not, and what did she get in return?  Nothing.  You neither thanked her for the help that you extorted from her, nor apologized for damaging her home.  Even before Discord lured you into the labyrinth, you commented on your desire for the box that was supposed to contain the elements.  Make no mistake; it is you alone who are to blame for your greed.  Even when your friends freed you from his control, you could think only of yourself, insisting that they never again speak of your actions in the hopes that you would not have to face them.   What kind of example are you setting for your sister? Perhaps the only reason to condone your actions at all is that you gathered all of the necklaces in one place, if only because you wanted them all to yourself.  Within this box is a demonstration of what happens to those that take more than they give in return.
    The fashionista could only stare at the letter in shock.  How could she have been so selfish?  Why had she not apologized?  Did Twilight still hold a grudge?  What must her friends think of her?
    “Rarity?  Are you alright?”  Blinking at the question, the purple-maned unicorn realized that she had been crying.
    “I…I’m sorry, Sweetie Bell,” she replied, wiping her tears away.  “It’s nothing important.”
    “So, what’s inside the box?”
    “Let’s find out.”  Steeling herself, she opened the package, and gasped in horror.
“What is it?  What’s wrong?”  The elder sister hurriedly turned and embraced her, covering her eyes.
    “Don’t look!  Please, for your own sake, don’t look!”  Inside the package, her Element of Generosity was in the grasp of a stone eagle’s talons; a bloody stump where it had been severed at the wrist.
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Fluttershy removed the cast from the mouse’s leg, and was pleased to find that it had healed.
    “This is wonderful!  Now remember to take it easy for a while, okay?  No running.”  The mouse nodded gratefully before following his family back into their hole in the wall.  At that moment, Angel walked in with a package.  “Thank you Angel.  I wonder who this one is from.”  There was no return address.  It was not the first time she had received an anonymous gift, though she still regretted that she could not properly thank the sender.  Unrolling the scroll, she began to read.

Fluttershy,
I wish to thank you for your help in the recent battle.  Congratulations for remaining true to yourself, and for not succumbing to Discord’s manipulation…However, I wish to bring something important to your attention.  It was not a dream.  Discord could not manipulate you with words, so he corrupted you by force, and you did not even have the presence of mind to defend yourself.  In the past, you have tamed an angry manticore, scolded a dragon into packing its hoard and leaving, you have even stared down a cockatrice as it turned you to stone, yet you could not be counted on to fight back against the one individual that posed a threat to you and everyone you cared about.  You did not even attempt to fight his influence, instead taking pleasure in the misfortune of others, especially those closest to you.  Tell me; was it fun when you hurt Pinkie’s feelings?  Did you enjoy making life difficult for Twilight when she only wanted to set things right? What about Spike, who had done nothing to warrant such treatment?  And where do you get the gall to throw away the Element of Kindness; one of the most critically essential items in the fight against any threat to Equestria?  Discord made a monster of you, Fluttershy, and you allowed him to do so.  And then, just to cement your hypocrisy, you called him a “big dumb meanie”?  For somepony who excels at talking to animals, you certainly have not much skill at taming the beast within.  To that end, I have included a token which I hope will remind you not to bite the hoof that feeds you.
    Fluttershy could only stare, whimpering at the letter, as tears cascaded from her eyes.  Had she really done those things?  Had she actually enjoyed it?  How could she have been so nasty, so horrible, so…mean?  Throwing the note aside, she looked at the box.  Whatever was inside could not possibly be as bad as what she had done.  Tentatively opening the box, she pulled out the Element of Kindness, but there was something staining it.  Looking back into the box, she could only sit there, screaming in horror as she beheld the stone lion’s paw that bled within.
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Rainbow Dash had just finished her quota for the day, and had decided to take a nap at home before she started practicing.  As she nestled into her bed, there was a knock on her door.  Answering the door, she found a certain wall-eyed mail mare staring back at her.
    “Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash.”
    “Hey Derpy, what can I do for ya?”
    “I was told to make sure you received this.”  The grey Pegasus handed her a package.
    “Heh, my public adores me.  So, you wanna stay and chat?  I’ve still got some of those muffins from Sugar Cube Corner.”
    “I’d love to, but I…have more deliveries to make.  Maybe next time, though.”  Dash frowned.  Derpy Doo never turned down muffins.  Shrugging it off, she bid the mail mare farewell and took her box back inside.
    “I got a lot of fan mail, but never a package.  I wonder who sent this one.”  There was no return address, but a scroll was attached to the box.  Unrolling it, she began to read.

Rainbow Dash,
Thank you for your help in defeating Discord and restoring harmony to Equestria.  The others could not have done it without you…and believe me, they tried.  In fact, because of your absence, they failed in their first attempt to use the Elements, and without you and the others to support her, Twilight Sparkle had actually been prepared to give up and leave town.  You had Discord where you wanted him in the labyrinth.  You could have refused to listen to his deception.  You could have demanded that he tell you where the Elements of Harmony were, but instead you fell for the most transparent ruse he could possibly have come up with.  Cloudsdale falling from the sky and taking everypony with it?  Tell me Rainbow, what is Cloudsdale made of?  Did you guess clouds? Very good.  And what do clouds do?  Yes, they float.  Now let us try a harder question, shall we?  What kinds of ponies live in Cloudsdale?  That’s right, Pegasi.  Now, use your brain for this one Rainbow.  What can Pegasus ponies do that unicorns and earth ponies cannot?  Exactly, THEY CAN FLY.  Now I ask you, what made you think that your absence from Cloudsdale would have made any difference, or that your presence could have prevented such a disaster should it have occurred?  And even if that were the case, I doubt it would have taken much longer to rebuild Cloudsdale than it did to rebuild Ponyville after the parasprite infestation.  You were supposed to be the Element of Loyalty, yet you could not be trusted to stay with your friends when they needed you the most.  Because of your treachery, your friends split up, and the most powerful member of your group was ready to pack up and leave town.  However, I will grant you one excuse; having your beloved wings taken from you must have been more traumatic than you were willing to admit.  Discord took that which you prized above all else; should you not be granted the same courtesy?  Enclosed in this package is a token that I hope will make you hesitate before you decide to abandon your friends again.
    Dash unconsciously brought a hoof to her cheek; the words had felt like a slap in the face.  Had she really driven her friends apart?  She had never wanted to do that!  All she had wanted was to make sure her home was safe!  If she had known that leaving the labyrinth would hurt all of her friends she never would have left!  Looking for any possible distraction from the conflicting emotions that arose within her, she tore open the box.  The glint from her Element of Loyalty immediately caught her eye.  Seconds later, the sight of the other object made her bring a hoof to her mouth, before doubling over and retching.  Inside the box, the necklace placed neatly on top of it, was a feathered, stone wing, with dried blood coating exposed bone at the base.
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Twilight Sparkle happily flopped down on her bed.  She had worked almost nonstop for the past four days, but the damage to her library had finally been repaired.  The work had been exhausting, but she could finally get back to the books that she loved so much.  Her respite would have to be put on hold however, as a knock sounded at her new front door.  Too tired to get up, she called out to her housemate.
“Spike, can you answer that please?”
“I’m on it Twilight.”  A few minutes later, he walked into the room with a package.  “Looks like you got another gift.  Should I put it with the others?”
“No, I’ll open it.” Shifting so that she was lying on her stomach, she levitated the package over.  “Hmm, no return address?”
“Ugh, another secret admirer?  Whatever, I’m going to make some lunch.  You want anything?”
“Just a sandwich and some lemonade please.  Thank you, Spike.”  Unrolling the scroll attached to the box, she began to read; and quickly realized that she could not stop.

Twilight Sparkle,
Thank you for single-hoofedly rounding up the Elements of Harmony, and for liberating Equestria from Discord. You have played such a pivotal role in this battle…Words cannot describe my disappointment in you.  You learned what it meant to have friends, you banded together with the others and used the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon, you even spent the better part of a year studying the magic of friendship and growing closer to the others.  So please Twilight, explain to me why it took but one day for all of that to go to waste.  Discord may have manipulated them, but it was because of your failure to think your actions through that your friends were each corrupted in turn.  After all, it was you who led them into the labyrinth without a plan.  Furthermore, you knew that the others were acting unlike themselves, yet you never bothered to question why, nor did you even try to help them.  As they continued to deteriorate, you allowed their corruption to drive you apart.  You did not even bother to find the last member of your party before attempting to use the Elements of Harmony, instead forcing poor Spike to join you on the front lines, and of course, you failed.  Then, when they needed your guidance more than ever, you pushed them away.  You just gave up, Twilight Sparkle, and were planning to abandon the mission that you were given by Celestia herself; you were ready to betray the pony that trusted you more than anyone else.  Had the princess not taken action, everything you had learned in the past year would have been a complete waste of time and effort.  How dare you, Twilight Sparkle?  HOW DARE YOU abandon the friendship that defeated Nightmare Moon?  I have sent you this gift to ensure that you never again forget the importance of the magic of friendship.
    Twilight felt like scum.  What hurt her more than anything else was the realization that every word of the letter was true.  She had failed her responsibility to the Elements of Harmony, but more than that, she had failed her friends, she had failed Celestia, she had failed herself.  Had she really been so willing to give up on the ponies that meant so much to her?  Had she really been so quick to let them go?  Magic was supposed to represent the unity of friendship, so why had she done nothing when they began to drift apart?  Discord’s defeat now seemed like an empty victory.  It was just too much to think about.  Fighting back the tears that threatened to spill forth, she quickly opened the package.  Retrieving the familiar tiara from within, she dropped it when she saw the other item in the box.
    “Oh Celestia…What have I done?!”  She could only stare in anguish at Discord’s severed, petrified horn; the ridge of his brow and eyelid still attached.
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Princess Celestia sat contentedly in her throne room, happy that her subjects were at peace once more.  Satisfied though she was, one thing had been bothering her since the incident one week prior.  Nopony had been able to find Discord’s stone body.  Was he still at large?  If so, why had he not made a move yet?  Her thoughts were interrupted as a servant entered the throne room with the day’s mail.  Among the usual correspondence was a strange letter with no return address.  Curious, she unrolled the scroll and began to read.

Celestia,
Now that Discord is once again frozen in stone, and the celebrations have died down, I believe it is time that we had a heart to heart.  Discord was your first and most powerful enemy.  You barely managed to seal him in his stone prison with the Elements of Harmony over one thousand years ago.  You knew how dangerous he was, and what did you do?  You left him out in the open, where anypony could just walk up to him and free him from his containment; three little school fillies, to be exact.  Had you kept his petrified body under lock and key, and kept a constant watch on him, perhaps he would have stayed imprisoned, but of course, that would have made too much sense, would it not?  You had the power to fight back against him, and yet you enlisted the help of six innocent mares to clean up your mess.  You could have at least kept a watchful eye on them to ensure that nothing bad would happen, but no, you could not even be bothered to get off your royal backside long enough to do that.  Even when they had failed, even when all hope was lost, you still would not get involved.  This whole mess happened because of your irresponsibility and negligence.  When Twilight was ready to abandon her friends, I grew tired of waiting for you to make a move, and took matters into my own hooves.  I sent back every letter that Twilight had written you during her time in Ponyville, and it seems I was just in time, too.  While you sat on your duff and twiddled your hooves, I took the liberty of completing the task that you should have undertaken one thousand years ago.  I have destroyed Discord’s body and scattered his pieces far and wide, to ensure that he will never again pose a threat to the ponies that you claim to care about.  I have sent the Elements of Harmony to their respective bearers, as they have proven far more competent at protecting them than you have.  I have saved a souvenir for you too, in the hopes that you will never again lose sight of what is important.  Perhaps this will remind you to keep a more watchful eye on your loved ones, and your enemies.
    Dropping the scroll, she stood up and galloped into the hall, much to the alarm of her guards.  Insulting though the accusations in the letter had been, her primary concern now was the Elements of Harmony.  Throwing open the doors to the Hall of the Elements, she raced past the various stained-glass windows and thrust her horn into the lock.  As the doors opened, she immediately grabbed the case from its pedestal.  Opening the box, her fears were confirmed; the Elements of Harmony were indeed gone, and staring back at her was a bloody, petrified eyeball, the optic nerve glistening with fluid.
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Her work done for the day, Derpy Doo flew out into the Everfree Forest, to the remains of Castle Everfree.  Landing at the door, she knocked in a pattern that she had practiced for the past week.  As the door opened, she bowed.
“Mission accomplished.”
“All six were delivered to their appropriate recipients?”
“Yes, your highness, each and every one.”
“Thank thee, Derpy.  The task that thou hast undertaken is more important than thou can possibly know.  Thanks to thee, we can now ensure that the bearers of the Elements of Harmony shall be prepared for any threat that may befall Equestria in the future.”
“I don’t mean to question your wisdom, your highness, but was it really the right thing to do?”
“Whatever dost thou mean, my faithful subject?”
“I don’t know.  It just felt…wrong somehow.”  With a sigh, the other mare just closed her eyes and smiled at her.
“Holdeth onto that feeling, Derpy, for it showest that thou hast not forgotten what is important.  Now then, thy reward shall be delivered by morning.  We wish thee safe travels on thy journey home.  Thou art dismissed.”  As the Pegasus flew back in the direction of Ponyville, Princess Luna turned and walked back into the castle ruins.  She had tasked Derpy with delivering the Elements of Harmony to their respective owners, and told her that she had cast a spell on the boxes, so that nopony but their proper recipients could open them.  She had even enchanted the letters so that only the first two sentences would be visible until they were held by their respective owners, at which point they would be forced to read the letters from start to finish.  It was the only way to ensure that the Pegasus’ curiosity would be sated, and thus remain blissfully unaware of what she had truly been asked to deliver.
Tapping a specific sequence of cobblestones, she waited patiently as the floor opened, revealing a stairwell that led beneath the ground.  Not even Celestia knew of its existence, and she intended to keep it that way.  Descending the stairs, she cast a light from her horn to illuminate her path.  In the room at the bottom, she stopped to take in the visage of the broken spirit of chaos before her.  The pieces of Discord’s body had been a last-minute addition to the plan; she had accidentally broken a piece off during an enraged fit of “magic practice”; repeatedly slamming the draconequus into the walls and floor of the chamber.  Removing the pieces had not been easy, and she had been forced to borrow some tools from the palace blacksmith in order to get the job done properly.
His horn was missing, the eyeball below it left permanently exposed.  The other eye had been extracted with a large vice grip, and the antler had been splintered off.  His tongue and every tooth in his mouth had been ripped out, and several of them had been inserted into his other wounds; she had taken a center punch to each of the empty sockets.  Both arms now ended at the wrist, and a spike had been driven deep into each stump.  In removing the appendages, she had discovered that he could still feel them even after they had been completely severed.  One wing was gone, the other hung limp from the break in its shoulder.  Both kneecaps had been smashed in.  His hoof had been sawed in half lengthwise, and the toes on his foot had been crushed one by one.  His tail was broken in several places, and the remains of his reproductive organs had been placed in his ruined mouth.
During the time she had spent torturing him, she had not uttered a single word.  Luna utterly hated herself for what she had done, but if it meant causing him as much pain as he had caused her, and driving home just how close the others had come to failing in their duty, it was a necessary step.
Finally, she spoke to her prisoner, disappointment in her voice.
“Discord…I really had hoped that thy time as a statue would have changed thee.  Thou had thy chance at redemption.  And thou blew it.  Dost thou know why my sister and I rose against thee?  Thou had the power to make Equestria a paradise.  Couldst thee not have used thine abilities to help everypony?  Couldst thee not have been loved by absolutely everypony in Equestria?  Thou had potential for greatness, but thou squandered thine gifts.  Thou took pleasure at the expense of others, thou treated everypony as thine playthings, and never once didst thee stop to consider the misery thou inflicted upon everypony else.  Thou enjoyeth chaos and anarchy, but ‘tis not as much fun when thou art on the receiving end, is it?  For everything thou hath taken from me and my loved ones, I have taken something from thee.  Perhaps now thou shalt understand how painful ‘tis to be taken advantage of; to be preyed upon when thou art weak and helpless.  Thou seeded Nightmare Moon within me, thou turned me against my sister and forced her to imprison me in the moon, but thou made a mistake, Discord.  Thou believed thyself infallible.  Nopony is infallible; not thee, not I, not even my beloved sister.  The bearers of the Elements brought me back to my senses, and they put thee back in thy place.  Although, I suppose I should be thanking thee.  Because of what thou didst to me, my true potential was unlocked.  Because of the abilities that thou helped me learn to use, I was able to watch everything that happened from the shadows.  And when thou canst watch everything as it happens, knowing when and how to act is easy.  Thou gave me the very tools I needed to ensure thy continued imprisonment.”  She turned and trotted back toward the stairwell, but it was not enough.  Perhaps it was simply paranoia, but she could almost feel him laughing at her.  She looked back and spoke once more.  “Funny thing about immortality; we cannot die.  Thou shalt have all the time in the world to reflect upon thine mistakes whilst thou rotteth down here for eternity.  The bearers and my sister believeth that thou hast been shattered, and thine pieces scattered throughout the cosmos.  As far as they are aware, thou no longer exist, and given time, nopony will even remember thy name.”  She trotted halfway up the stairs, before realizing that she still had to return the blacksmith’s tools.  Levitating the large, iron sledgehammer, she knew what she had to do, both to gain closure, and to guarantee his continued suffering.  Approaching Discord once more, she lifted the iron tool and brought it down upon his skull, sending stone fragments and bone chips flying.  “Dost thou enjoy chaos?  I cannot imagine anything more chaotic than the thoughts that course through thy head, while thy exposed brain slowly desiccates.”  And with that, she gathered the tools and exited the castle, sealing the cobblestone floor behind her.  As the last traces of light were extinguished, a fresh tear dripped from the broken, bleeding statue’s remaining eye, to join the others that had dried.
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Applejack awoke to find herself surrounded by a crowd of other ponies; all of them horribly emaciated; their manes and coats faded grey, cutie marks barely visible, with insects biting and stinging them.  She felt alarmingly weak, and looking down at herself, she found that she too was just as malnourished as the rest of them.  Upon closer inspection, she found that her Stetson and both of her hair ties were absent.  She tried to speak, but only succeeded in coughing as her dry throat caught up to her.  As she caught her breath, she heard a familiar voice not so much call her name as croak it.
“Applejack!”  A similarly atrophied Pinkie Pie limped over to her; the other earth pony’s mane and tail were completely straight and somewhat frayed.  Her voice was barely audible, and she managed to mouth the words “where are we?”
“I don’t know,” the farmer responded, mouthing the words as her voice failed her once more.  Upon searching the crowd, the two noticed that there only seemed to be earth ponies.  However, upon closer inspection they were horrified to discover scars where once existed horns and wings.  Another minute of searching reunited them with Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle, all of whom had lost their horns and wings and were as sickly as the crowd around them.  The difference was particularly evident on Rarity; her alabaster coat had faded grey, and her once lustrous mane now resembled the bird’s nest that Twilight had once attempted to build.  None of the friends had any idea where they were, how they had gotten there, or what had happened to them, and the other ponies in the crowd either did not notice them or did not care about their plight.
A ship suddenly broke through the fog, docking at a pier that rose from the murky water.  The vessel was absolutely massive, and though at first glance, it seemed to be crafted of wood, the six quickly noticed that it was in fact flesh and bone, almost as though the vehicle were in fact a living organism.  At the front of the ship was a gigantic skull, and as the crowd looked upon the vessel, the head spoke.
“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here…”
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The six friends huddled together inside the living ship that now carried them across the river, the sound of its heartbeat and wheezing breath surrounding them.  None of them had expected the enormous rowing oars in the side of the vessel to sweep them into the gangway, nor did they have any idea where it was taking them.  Since waking up, their voices had gradually begun to return to them, and they had begun questioning the ponies around them, none of whom knew any more about what was going on than did the six.
Finally, the ship docked once more, and the crowd began to file out.  As they exited, they were accosted by a group of angry-looking creatures that roughly shoved them in the direction of a large citadel.  As they passed through the doors and continued moving forward, they noticed several small creatures scuttling around them, and stopped cold when they realized that the animals resembled twisted newborn foals.  Another sharp jab in the flank from the larger creatures and they resumed moving forward with the crowd.
As they continued further into the citadel, they passed a room where numerous ponies congregated, none of them looking worse for wear.  Though she was unable to confirm her suspicions, Twilight would have bet her tail that she had witnessed Starswirl the Bearded among them.
Passing through another hall, they ultimately approached a large rotunda, resembling a courtroom.  A huge snake-like figure, its eyes covered by a layer of skin, towered over them, and they watched in horror as its tail lashed out to ensnare the pony closest to it and brought the poor stallion to the creature’s face, where it inhaled deeply, briefly muttering to itself before raising its voice.
“ANGER!” the creature cried out, its voice a merciless roar.  It then impaled its victim on a spiked wheel and pressed a pedal beside it, which caused the wheel to spin and fling the hapless pony into the depths below.  It then snagged another pony.  “LUST!”  He too was impaled and flung into the depths.  A third was picked up.  “FRAUD!”  And so the cycle repeated, for several minutes, until the six finally stood before the creature.  Despite its lack of eyes, the creature seemed to be staring right at them, and it regarded them with an expression of unparalleled anger and disgust.  Without warning, the tail snagged Pinkie Pie and yanked her away from the desperate hooves of the other five.  “Unchecked self-indulgence; GLUTTONY!”  Pinkie screamed as she was brought down onto the spiked wheel.  Blood pooled in her mouth and she flailed her arms and legs, as though mindlessly attempting to run away from the pain.  Seconds later, she was launched into the depths.  Before the others could register what had happened, Rarity had been ripped away from them.  “Hoarder; GREED!”  The fashionista began to beg for mercy, but her words were cut short as she too was impaled and sent into the pit.  The others attempted to back away, but their bestial escorts blocked their escape, and the ponies were too weak to fight back.  Twilight was next.  “Acting against one’s god; HERESY!” As the most powerful of their number was sent down, the creature reached for Fluttershy.  AJ and Dash held onto her as best they could, but the creature simply flicked them aside.  “Striking at others; VIOLENCE!”  They could not bear to watch as the Pegasus was similarly impaled and flung into the pit.  It next reached for Applejack.  Rainbow Dash tried to block the earth pony with her own body, but her efforts were for naught, as the farmer was effortlessly grabbed.  “Falsifier; FRAUD!”  Finally, Rainbow Dash was the only one left.  As the creature reached for her, she finally realized that she would never see her friends again, nor would she leave this place alive.  “Betrayal of one’s allies; TREACHERY!”  Before she could blink, the spike had penetrated her torso.  Never in her life had she felt such pain.  So great was the shock to her system that her bladder emptied itself on the spot.  Seconds later, the wheel spun; the centrifugal force ripping her from the spike and sending her careening into the depths below.
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Pinkie landed with a hard splat on something soft and wet.  Torrents of viscous brown fluid rained all around her.  A putrid smell hung in the air and she emptied her stomach as the pungent odor assaulted her nostrils.  During her descent, she had noticed what appeared to be a colossal face with two arms.  As she looked toward the thing, its enormous lower lip fell open, and three worm-like heads emerged from within, each sporting a grotesque, toothy maw and what looked like three or four eye stalks.  More ponies began to rain from the air around her, and the heads began snapping them out of the sky; what she had mistaken for eyes were in fact more mouths.  The creature seemed to exist for the sole purpose of consumption.  The heads would sometimes fight amongst each other for the ponies that rained around them, sometimes one would pause to lap the muck from its grubby digits, and occasionally, one of them would disgorge, only to immediately begin eating again.  Without warning, all three heads turned to face the once-pink mare.  She barely had time to scream as they launched toward her.
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Rarity landed hard on the stone ground.  All around her were other ponies carrying and pushing large boulders up the sides of a steep hill.  Before she knew what was happening, a boulder, looking suspiciously like “Tom,” had been placed upon her own back, and the longer she stood there, the heavier it seemed to become.  She began moving, and the weight seemed to stop increasing, only to begin once more as she stopped.  And so she continued to carry the rock, falling in line with the other ponies around her.  Occasionally, two stones would collide, and their owners would act as though the rocks were precious gemstones that the other was attempting to steal.  She carried her own rock for several hours, but as she reached the peak of the hill, another pony pushed theirs over the peak from the opposite side, colliding with hers.  Too weak to resist, the unicorn lost her footing, and was crushed as it rolled over her exhausted body.
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Twilight immediately noticed the air around her getting hotter as she fell further from the rotunda.  She finally smacked down in what looked to be a burning mockery of cities like Manehattan.  Coughing as the smoke choked her, she struggled back to her hooves, only to feel something grab her mane and yank her backward.  As she struggled to escape her captor, it dragged her across the volcanic stone floor, the abrasive stone cutting into her skin, and threw her into a fire pit, before covering the top with a stone slab.  As the flames licked at her, her fur singed and her skin melted away.  Never had she felt such agony, and as she continued to burn, she began furiously clawing at the stone above her, desperate to escape.  Finally, her muscles, organs, and brain were too cooked to function, and she succumbed to her burns.
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Fluttershy bounced off of several tree branches before hitting the sandy ground.  All around her, she could hear screaming, as though the trees themselves were in pain.  Behind her was a wide river, its bubbling surface a strange shade of red.  A creature whose lower half vaguely resembled a pony seized her by the throat and cast her into the river, and she cried out as it scalded her flesh.  As she attempted to escape, the creature dunked her beneath the surface, forcing her to choke on the coppery-tasting substance as it seared her body to the bone.  Every time she managed to come back up, she would be thrust back under.  Finally, she could struggle no longer, and she stayed beneath the surface.
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Applejack landed in a ditch among several other ponies.  Something seemed off about them, they were groaning as though in pain, patches of fur were missing, pus and fluids were oozing from every orifice, and their skin was riddled with ulcers, lesions, and other blemishes.  As she looked around, several of them began to converge on her, each of them begging for help.  The moment one of them touched her, her skin began to itch.  The more she scratched, the worse it got, until it became an unbearably painful burning sensation.  As the pain worsened, more and more of them started grabbing at her, and every time one of them touched her, her own condition worsened.  She tried in vain to fight them off, but they just kept coming, and the pain was unbearable.  In her panic, she began biting and clawing the flesh from her body, tearing herself apart as numerous diseases consumed her.
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As Rainbow Dash fell, so too did the temperature around her.  Further and further, she fell, her breath visible as it exited her mouth, flailing her limbs wildly as she attempted to flap her nonexistent wings.  Finally, she landed hard in the coldest water she had ever felt; daggers of pain stabbing into every inch of her body.  As she attempted to turn herself upright and swim to the surface, she felt the water around her becoming colder and more viscous.  Before she could break the surface, the water completely solidified into ice, trapping her in place.  She could neither move, nor breathe as the cold bit into her body.
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That night in Ponyville, six mares awoke screaming, each of them too distraught to notice the miasma that had been hovering over them.
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Hyperventilating, the sweat-soaked orange mare whipped her head around for several seconds before realizing she was in her bed.  Finding her body intact and free of necrotizing fasciitis did little to console her.  Everything had felt too real; the pain, the fear, the loneliness, it had all hurt so much.  She yelped as a knock turned her attention toward the bedroom door, which opened to reveal her elder brother.
“Sis, are y’all alright?”   As he took in her visage, his expression changed to one of deep concern.  Applejack was the strongest, most confident pony he knew, and now she sat before him; her body shivering, her breathing ragged, her mane plastered to her skull, her eyes bloodshot and terrified.  She looked utterly broken.  Walking over to her, he placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder.  Seconds later, she buried her face in his shoulder and cried harder than when she had lost her parents.  At that moment, Apple Bloom entered the room.
“AJ?  What happe—?!”  The young filly’s words died in her throat as she beheld AJ’s condition.  The mare that she looked up to more than anypony else, the pony that had always given her strength and resolve, her beloved big sister was sobbing in despair.  Rushing over to her elder siblings, she climbed onto the bed.  “Sis, yer scarin’ me.  What’s wrong?”  The orange mare did not respond, but hugged her little sister close to her and continued to cry as their brother did his best to comfort her.
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Spike had done what he could to console Twilight, but she had ultimately cried herself to sleep.  Later that night, he had come to the bedroom to find her violently thrashing in her bed, and then she had screamed.  He had not looked in the box that she had received the previous afternoon, not wanting to know what could have upset her to such a degree.
As the unicorn lay curled upon her bed, a knock sounded at the library’s new door.  Spike opened the door to find five pairs of puffy, red eyes staring back at him.  Each of them walked solemnly into the main room; even Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, normally so full of energy, seemed ready to give up on life itself.  Running up the stairs, he burst into the bedroom and told Twilight of her friends’ arrival.  She was past him before he had even finished his sentence.  When the disheveled Twilight Sparkle entered the library’s main room, she and each of the others looked at each other, realizing for the first time that each of them had undergone a similar experience.  Ultimately, they simply embraced each other; no words were necessary, and none of them could find it in themselves to speak.  They all simply sat there, silently comforting each other, each taking solace in the others’ company.
As the six mares finally began to calm down, Spike ran in with a scroll in hand.
“Guys!  The princess sent us a letter!”  Holding each other tighter, the six tentatively turned to face the baby dragon, dreading what their beloved ruler would have to say.  Unrolling the scroll, Spike began to read.

My Faithful Student,
    I must consult you on a matter of grave importance.  What you are about to read must not be revealed to anypony else.  The Elements of Harmony have been stolen, and I fear the perpetrator may pose a greater threat than even Discord.  I received an anonymous message which claimed that the elements had been distributed to their respective bearers.  If any of you have received any suspicious parcels, I must insist that you disclose their contents immediately.  Please respond at your earliest convenience.

Your loving mentor,

Princess Celestia of Equestria

    The six had cringed upon hearing the news.  Realizing what needed to be done, Twilight wordlessly levitated a quill and parchment over to the group, opting to write the letter herself, rather than subject Spike to the horrors that they had seen.  As she finished writing and motioned to sign the letter, Rainbow Dash put a hoof over it, before picking up the quill and adding her own part.  One by one, the others got their two bits in.  Finally, they rolled and sealed the letter, handing it to Spike.  Downtrodden by his friends’ depression, Spike sent the letter.
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Dear Princess Celestia,
    I’m afraid we did receive the parcels you mentioned.  Each box contained one of the elements, and…something else.  I don’t know who sent them, but they were right.  As the Element of Magic, it was my responsibility to keep everyone together, and yet I couldn’t protect my friends from Discord.  I couldn’t even help them when they needed me.  I had the opportunity to fix everything, and instead I just gave up.  I was going to abandon Ponyville to that monster. If your majesty hadn’t sent my letters back to me, Discord would have destroyed Equestria.  And I would have let him.  I’ve failed you, your majesty, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness.  I’m sorry for everything.
   
    You’ve given me a lot to think about.  I said that I would never leave my friends hanging, and yet the moment I heard that Cloudsdale would fall, I selfishly took back my wings and left them.  The pegasi of Cloudsdale have been through crises before, so why didn’t I trust them to take care of themselves?  isn’t loyalty as much knowing when to believe in your friends’ abilities as it is to be there for them when they need you the most?  I know now that I’m not good enough to join the Wonderbolts, and I certainly don’t deserve such good friends after I abandoned them.  What right do I have to call myself the bearer of loyalty under these circumstances?  I thought I was destined for greatness, but now I see myself for the failure that I really am.  If my closest friends can’t trust me, then why should anypony else?  I’m sorry.

    I’ve been selfish.  You told me how dangerous Discord could be, and all I cared about was having fun.  Since reading your letter, I haven’t been able to touch or look at anything sweet.  I can’t enjoy candy or cake anymore because I’m afraid of what might happen if I do.  What if something even worse comes along and I’m too busy stuffing my face to notice?  But that’s a good thing, right?  If I don’t have sweets to distract me, then I can be focused on helping my friends, right?  All I have to do is keep laughing and...I’m sorry your highness, I know it’s my job to keep everypony’s spirits up, but I just can’t laugh anymore.  What do I have left to laugh about?  I don’t deserve the element of laughter, and I’m sorry I let everypony down.

    I could have prevented all of this.  All I had to do was tell the truth, and I couldn’t even do that.  What would have happened if I had?  Could we have prevented ourselves from drifting apart?  Could we have saved the bonds we shared?  Or would our failure have been inevitable?  Could I have prevented him from reaching Ponyville?  My family had it bad when Discord was messing around, but what if he had done something worse to them; something irreversible?  I can’t bear to think what would happen if I lost them.  And who am I to tell my little sister about honesty after the way I acted?  I failed the ponies closest to me when they needed me, and I would do anything to take it all back.  I’m sorry.

    I too owe you an apology, for both the property that I stole, and for my actions during Discord’s rampage.  I should have resisted the temptation, should have continued my search for the elements, but those diamonds in the wall...but alas, they did not truly exist, nor were they mine to take.  And now I have paid the price for my obsession.  I shudder to think what would happen if my actions had influenced dear Sweetie Belle, I’m only thankful that I was brought back to my senses before I had fallen any further.  I shudder to even look at gems now, for what will happen if I should get greedy again?  I’m sorry, your majesty, for every wrong I have committed.

    I can still remember what I did after he turned me.  I still have trouble believing that I could be so heartless to everypony.  I hurt them, I encouraged my animals to hurt them, and above all, I enjoyed it.  That’s what frightens me more than anything else; that I took pleasure in what I was doing to them.  What if Discord didn’t turn me into that mean pony?  What if that was really just me all along?  I don’t want to be a monster, and I will do anything I can to make up for what I have done.  But the truth is that any kindness I show to others just doesn’t feel sincere anymore.  I no longer know if I’ve ever been sincere about anything I’ve ever done for anypony else.  I’ve let down all of my friends, pony and animal alike, and I just don’t know what else to do anymore.  I’m supposed to be the bearer of kindness, but have I ever truly been kind?  I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.

Your unworthy subjects,

Twilight Sparkle.

Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie.

Applejack.

Rarity.

Fluttershy.

    Celestia stared at the letter in stunned silence.  Even with the knowledge that the elements were indeed safe with their respective bearers, she had only become more concerned about the situation.  Her student’s normally neat and pristine writing was absent; the ink was smudged in some places, and the parchment stained with tears.  And the things that Twilight and the others had said only furthered her confusion.  Though it did confirm the strange letter’s claim that her friendship reports had been sent back, the Element bearers spoke as though they had failed.  Steeling herself, Celestia rose from her throne, called for the cancellation of her appointments for that day, and sent for her carriage.

    “Where are you going, sister?”
    “Something’s happened to Twilight and the others.  I intend to find out what.”
    “I’m surprised that you care—!”  Luna caught herself mid-sentence, but not before Celestia turned to regard her with a look of suspicion.
    “What do you mean by that?” The younger sister looked for any possible escape as the elder advanced on her.  “Luna, what have you done?”  Realizing that the cat was out of the bag, the moon princess spoke her mind.
    “I did what you failed to do, Celestia.  I made them learn from their mistakes, and finished the job that you could not.”
    “Finished the—where is Discord?!”
    “You’ll never know, dear sister.  Considering how you dealt with him last time, one would believe you wanted him to return.  I simply ensured that he would never be found, and that he would suffer for eternity.”
    “So the eyeball was—”
    “Horns, wings, teeth, claws; as I have told you Celestia, I made certain he could never hurt us again.”  Celestia could not believe what she was hearing.  She had witnessed many atrocities in her time, but what Luna was suggesting was unheard of.
    “How could you do something so barbaric?!” 
“I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO, CELESTIA!”  The elder sister flinched as the younger alicorn rounded on her.  “You think I don’t hate myself already?  You think it didn’t occur to me that I was just as bad as him?!  Well, dear sister, PERHAPS YOU WERE CONTENT TO SIT AROUND DIDDLING YOUR ANUS, BUT I COULDN’T REST UNTIL I HURT HIM AS HE...” The moon princess turned away, wrapping her wings around herself.  “You have no idea what he did to me; what he made them do to me.”
“‘Them?’”
“The royal guards!  He made them do such horrible things.  On some nights, I can still feel them touching me in places.  Because of him, I can never marry.”
“Luna…I had no idea.  You never told me—”
“You never asked either!  Didn’t you wonder why they resigned after we defeated him?”  Indeed she had; several of the guards that had resigned following their first battle with Discord had taken their own lives as well, and only now did she realize what motivated their actions.  “He brought them back to their senses during the act.  And some of them didn’t stop...”
“But why now?  Why do this now and not one thousand years ago?”
“Because I was scared, Celestia!”  Luna had begun to cry.  Celestia walked to her sister and wrapped her wings around the smaller alicorn.
“Come, there’s something we both need to do.”

• To be added:

  • Refining the characters’ introductions and the reactions to their letters
  • Refining the conversation between Celestia and Luna; perhaps mention that Discord brought the guards back to their senses just as they reached their climax, or that some of the guards that resigned also took their own lives, so disgusted were they with what they had done.  This would also explain Nightmare Moon’s reaction to the Pegasus guards, or her choice of escort to Ponyville, or why we don’t ever see her
  • Explain what happened after they opened the boxes; perhaps add a scene for the other five in the same vein as Applejack’s bedroom scene
  • Add a scene in which Celestia confronts the mane six, and apologizes to each of them in turn for her own failure to act.  Might also be wise to mention that she didn’t help because she was busy getting the rest of Equestria under control, and assumed that Twilight and the others were handling things without a problem.
  • Have Luna herself confront the mane six.  When they rush to Fluttershy’s defense, and claim that she was corrupted by Discord, Luna counters that Discord cannot make any changes to a pony’s behavior that said pony wasn’t already capable of.