Short Hand: The Dark Emperor Shepherd · 2:25am Jul 29th, 2020
Andrew Shepherd, the only human in Equestria, and a Knight of said kingdom, had been invited to tea with the Princesses of Equestria to help them with a private project. Shepherd is a bit surprised as to what they're asking him to help them with.
Shepherd: "Let me get this straight: You want me... To pretend to be an evil villain."
Celestia: *nods* "That's right."
Shepherd: "Take over Canterlot."
Celestia: "Mmhm."
Shepherd: "Banish you two."
Luna: "Quite."
Shepherd: "Take over Equestria."
Luna: "Yes."
Shepherd: "And do this for a few weeks while you two take a vacation?"
Luna: "That is indeed the gist of our proposal, Ser Shepherd."
Celestia: "This wouldn't be the first time we've done this."
Shepherd: "You two are terrible rulers!"
Celestia: "Thousands of years of societal stability would suggest otherwise."
Shepherd: "And what incentive do I have to do this, anyway?"
Luna: "You would be aiding us immensely, as is your duty as our knight."
Shepherd: "... Give me more incentive!"
Celestia: *Sighs* "I will teach Twilight and her friends the human transformation spell?"
Shepherd: "You have one of those?!"
Luna: "Verily, we have several of those."
Shepherd: "A call to duty to help you skive off and avoid work, and a bribe? Come on! That's hardly enough for me to participate in this crazy scheme of yours!"
Celestia: "It would really mess with Twilight Sparkle."
Luna: "And would be very fun."
Shepherd: "..."
One week later...
Shepherd: "I hereby declare myself the Dark Emperor of All Equestria! My first decree: I shall be reforming the financial and taxation system of my new empire to provide more funding for local education and services, as well as improving our infrastructure!"
Royal Guard: "Er, your Evil Majesty, sir, that doesn't sound very evil."
Shepherd: "I haven't even laughed evilly yet! Wait for that part! Wait!"
Royal Guard: "Y-Yes, My Dread Lord!"
Shepherd: "Now, where was I? Oh yes. With this new funding, I shall provide more dams, more electricity, roads, clean water, and affordable public schooling! And there is nothing you can do about it! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
*GASP* Socialism! Does his evil know no bounds?
Not affordable public schooling!! Have you gone MAD?!
Meanwhile, just out of sight, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow are furiously taking notes.
After all, someone with such a magnificently evil laugh can't be anything but the most diabolical mastermind the world has ever seen, right?
Given the stability of their monarchy it would make sense that the ponies being a herd mentality species would be able to partake in a more socialist excitel structure than most people would give credit for. Now forgetting me any kind of spelling and grammar I'm using voice to text and it cannot always tell the difference between then and than when I start to talk too quickly.
And then it turns out that nopony actually wants Celestia back.
Unfortunately for the Sisters, they didn't realize that Shepard's "evil" plan to actually use the kingdom's money towards helping the common people would result in the Canterlot nobility rising up and overthrowing him within a week.
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Reminds me of my high school drama class the one week we had a substitute teacher.
As a joke we put together a "lab" on "Villainous Applications of Dramatic Laughter" as a video documentary.
We scared the football team, got a lecture on the ethics of leadership from the Principle, generally had a lot of fun and got an A+ grade on the "Lab" from the teacher.
Yeaaaah, can't argue with that. We humans can't seem to go a week without fucking something up. Lucky if we make it that far.