Flash Sentry's Inappropriately Hot Mom · 3:04am Jul 27th, 2020
So, I've been talking to Shortskirtsandexplosions for a bit now over Discord and whatnot, and the other day we started kicking around ideas and he suggested the concept of Flash Sentry having a ridiculously hot mom and the humor to be mined from such a situation.1
My brain ran with it and so...
Meet Azure Flame.
So, as you can tell by the above and the title of this blog, Azure is hot. Ridiculously hot. Also inappropriately hot.
What does "inappropriately hot" mean?
Well, let's talk about what she is first.
Azure Flame is a divorced single mom. Things with Flash's dad started off okay, but got complicated over time. The main issue being Flash's dad was extremely straightlaced. Emphasis on straight. Azure is not. She is bisexual and while she was strictly monogamous with him, well... after one night at a friend's bachlorette party, some photos of Azure snogging a couple of the party guests made it to MyStable and Flash's dad kinda hit the roof. Things deteriorated quickly after that.
Flash elected to live with his mom, although he's extremely embarrassed by her. Not because she does anything goofy or cringeworthy. It's just that, well...
While Azure is a gifted writer (she has a regular column with the Canterlot Times, has had two novels published, and contributes to a dozen different websites), well read, very intelligent, charming, and generally a positive, upbeat person... she has absolutely zero clue how hot she actually is.
Just about everything the woman does makes her look like sex on legs. It seems like every move is calculated to make her look like a Maxim cover model, but it isn't. She genuinely has no idea that she's causing every temperature in a ten foot radius to rise like crazy.
How hot is Azure Flame? If Adagio Dazzle ever met her, the first thing she'd think is: I want that on my face yesterday.
This causes great embarrassment for Flash andis the reason he never has friends over at his place. He knows it's going to end with everyone staring, if not outright drooling, at his mom. Azure thinks Flash is just being silly.
Will we see Azure Flame in a story someday. Mmmmmmmaybe...
1 I'm aware the idea of Flash having a hot mom isn't really a new concept and there seems to be several images floating out there of varying degrees of smuttiness testifying to that fact. Azure is my own take on the concept.
Yep, she's hot, I'll give her that.
Brilliance all around. Azure Flame sounds like a really cool person to meet, even if one is blind. A shame she lost both ankles in the war, though.
I like to believe that the reason Flash stuck around with Sunset Shimmer for so long is that having the hottest mom in the galaxy has ruined any chances of him easily engaging in a positive relationship. In my head, it's because if Flash finds someone who is legit sexy, positive, and happy--she'll remind him of his mom and he can't settle for that. So--tragically--Flash settles for bad!girls, to his detriment. This is why he allowed Sunset to lord over for him for so long. It was a *different* kind of female presence in his life, even if it was less-than-desirable.
I dun think Flash hates his mother or has some weird Oedipus complex. I just think it's a silly, sitcomish thing for a paragon of sexy feminine perfection to be a thorn in his side, and I like to imagine a lot of blush-inducing situations where his oblivious matriarch does stuff to embarrassment him on a regular occasion.
But such are my two cents. All credits go to Shallow here. Sexy glasses forever.
Yeah, I could but it. Though I feel like the first usage of the character will be rather bean-ish.
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And?
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The interesting thing is to contrast Azure with pony Twilight. The thing is, both times Flash has actually seen Twilight, she hasn't been all that positive and happy. (Sexiness is more subjective.) She's been barely keeping herself from going mad by the impossible dimension of simian abominations or desperately trying to develop countermagic without a horn. And when human Twilight showed up, she was in a similar boat, surrounded by strangers who knew her by name.
The Purplesmarts represent a third option for Flash: They're neither confident bombshells nor demons in disguise, but victims he can save. Again, a different kind of female presence. To his credit, he realized how skeezy that was as he accepted that one Twilight wasn't coming back and the other was never interested in him. And by that point, Sunset was developing into someone not unlike his mother...
This works quite well indeed, Shallow. Very nice work.
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Now I think Azure Flame should have been kicked by a horse as a child, just so that she has a general phobia towards equines.
Okay, I know I’m a little late to this, but I am really starting to love Azure Flame. Not (just) because she’s very good looking, mind you. She’s also a loving mother to Flash, plus she comes off as very intelligent and a real go-getter woman, while also remaining very sweet, friendly, and upbeat. She kind of strikes me as a more mature, less hyperactive version of Pinkie. Does anyone else feel that, or is it just me?