The Lord of Ragnarok new chapter

So good news everyone! I've finished the first draft of my novel, and while my beta readers are going over it, letting me know what they think, pointing out little errors, and the like, I thought that I would go ahead and post a little update. It might be a couple of days before it's done, being that I have an interview tomorrow, and then if I get the job I'll likely start the day after tomorrow.

Regardless, I wanted to hit this up as soon as possible. So, here it is. Chapter 28, what's done if it, and let me know what you guys think.

The Lord of Ragnarok

Chapter 28: Twisted

New Appleoosa - Rainbow Dash’s P.O.V.

Standing there, looking at my creator I heard the words, and then I shook my head.  My loyalties were to both him and my husband, Lord Mannulus, but what he was asking for made sense.  It would be a chance to make sure that every servant here, and his queen, could live forever.  But what he said was true as well.  Lord Mannulus wasn’t going to simply turn over the black book.  It was too powerful, and if what Obitus said was even a little true then it would be inviting powers that even my creator wouldn’t be able to handle.

“Are you sure?” I asked, “Couldn’t we see if there is another way?”

He breathed out, “There are other ways, all of which would destroy their physical bodies,” he said softly, “Rainbow, I ask you because you are my creation, because you are loyalty given a body.”

He stood from his throne and walked to me, “I ask you because I am one of your fathers, and I know that you understand that it is your place to answer a request, especially one as simple as this.”

I looked at him, and it hurt because he was right, but then I thought of what Obitus said, “Obitus said that it contains a twisted Zebra’s soul, that it is bound to it, and that the soul wants to correct anything it comes into contact with it.  She said that Lord Mannulus is withstanding it only due to his great will power.”

He laughed, “Yes, Mannulus’ legendary willpower.  His will might even be as powerful as Doom’s,” hes said before he touched my cheek, “but do you doubt that I have less will than Mannulus?”

I shook my head, “No King Sombra the Magnificent,” I said, “But what if attacks you differently?”

He looked up from me, “You’re stalling,” he said, “And I grow weary of it.”

I sighed and looked a the ground, “Please, you’re asking me to steal from my husband,” I said, “Please, don’t make me have to choose which of you to obey.”

He growled, “Rainbow, who gave you life?”

I flinched, “Y...You created me,” I said, “You made me, but Lord Mannulus has made me more than what I was.”

He studied me, “Yes, he has made you a wife, a lover, and a fine addition to his harem,” he said, “But what else has he done?” he asked, “Has he given you a new purpose?  Do you find yourself full of free will, or are you, as you always were, a mere puppet.”

I looked at him, “I am not a puppet,” I growled, “And this conversation is over!”

I started to lift into the air before I felt something hit me.  I fell to the ground, and I felt an intense pressure inside of my head.  I looked at my creator, at King Sombra the Magnificent in horror as he began to invade my mind.  I felt him bending me to his will, my every single thought becoming more and more pliable.

“No, please,” I begged, “Please…”

I felt something else.  A warm tingle from my hand, where my ring was, and a moment later I heard the portal open.  I felt the violation end, and I watched as King Sombra the Magnificent backed up.  I felt a tender hand on my shoulder, “Rainbow, are you alright?”

I looked into the caring eye of Lord Mannulus and I smiled, “Yes, I am now.”

“No!” 

I turned my head to see King Sombra the Magnificent’s horn glowing, “I will have the book!”