burnout · 1:06am Apr 19th, 2020
not happening yet but it's creeping in. idk. i feel like i operate pretty functionally when i have something to do, and commissions are something to do, but sometimes you really just want to wait for inspiration to hit you like a lightning bolt in your stomach, and the numbers won't go up if you're sitting around waiting~
we really want to write more personal stuff, but it feels like most of our ideas are just running in circles around the same topics over and over again. same references. same cultural standpoints that will be irrelevant in a hundred years. will anyone believe that quoting the simpsons was ever an academic exercise, or was it always crass and masturbatory and reducing us to consequential dust?
don't do drugs, kids.
we wish we had some means of attracting attention more meaningful than anything currently at our access. you can go to a discord server and type a message into the chat and chances are most people won't read or respond to it. and if they do you'll talk to them for about five minutes and then that's it.
when the quarantine is over, will bars still exist? should we go to one?
we wish we were in a band. making music by yourself is 90% editing and 10% composition, and it really isn't our jam at all.
big thank you to our two Patreon supporters so far, Sorden and carinoGeneticist. we were really surprised to go check and find an actual number there, and it made us very happy and probably capable of a decent chunk of the writing we did yesterday.
we have been thinking about buying Iceborne for over a month now but still don't really want to do it. what's the chance that any avenue of interactivity could be worth that much money? will it enrich our lives? will it give us something to do? will it make us feel competent in a way that will never transfer to real life activities? if we've spent twenty+ years coming up with metaphors, why does it feel like there are so few meaningful ones left?
please talk to us. we're not going insane. we've been insane for a while, and it's the type that flares up and then flares back down if someone douses it in water, aka attention.
i get the feeling most of our blogs and stories are kind of seen as transitory shitposts that are meant to be swallowed up under a torrent of displaced anger. they're not really that. they're just us miming into the sunset. echolalia is a real thing. most of what we feel is meaningful we repeat, and by virtue of repeating it, make it meaningful. The unstoppable, unrelenting song that plays is called "I Love Beijing Tianamen", also known as "I Love Peking Tianamen"—and Peking Duck is a famous duck dish from Beijing. And Scrooge McDuck had his fiftieth anniversary in—yep—ninety-seven.
Densetsu no setchi tachi yo.
Help.
That all reads like you've got so much congestion in your head that's just begging to be expressed and words are the best way you've found for it.
I feel like I remember a famous poet/writer or two that suffered from that.
I hope sharing your words here helps.
I'm grateful you're sharing your stories again, certainly.
I'm overcome by this sudden urge to give you a big, warm hug.
You could always work on an older story if you still have notes.
Tomorrow, when I’m really high, I want to write a shitfic with you. Next week, when I’m sober, I’d love to do a collab or musical sorts.
5245371
yes please. this would make us feel cared about and important.
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Awesome. Also check your PMs; I sent you a story I think you’ll deeply appreciate.
I'm happy to talk to you anytime. Juat send me a DM.
I went fishing today. I was catching pods of freshwater shellfish, and nothing else.
I also learned today that cutting nails using a dremel is more time consuming than it's worth, although it makes sparks reminiscent of 4th of July sparklers.
A doberman pinscher was sighted near my residence, and that is of course the highlight. It would be nice if my range of discussion could move beyond recent history, but that's all I've got at the moment.
The current isolation is making ppl do wacky things.
On another note, free Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals in YouTube every weekend. Phantom of the Opera this weekend: https://youtube.com/watch?v=nINQjT7Zr9w
I understand the burnout, my dude. Been on this site almost as long as you and have taken almost as long a break between updates, haha. Burnout happens. Taking a break is ok :)