TWithout You
MLP: FiM
Resident Evil
Romance
Dark
Adventure
Without him, she'd be lost to the dead. Without her, he'd be lost to insanity. Together, a human and pony will come together to survive this monster filled hell known as Raccoon City.
Crossover
Human
Rainbow Dash
Self Insert
Dustchu · 111k words · 256 14 · 6.2k views

Sometimes · 3:20am Apr 10th, 2020

it's hard to focus, like, really hard.

_ID:2317512

One of my problems as a writer is the incomprehensibly large vacuum of space in my head, where endless ideas pop up from my strange strange mind. I'll see something from afar, maybe a series of things my mind puts together, and an idea will form within my mind like a planet; all these bits of rock being drawn in, smashing together and slowly growing out of control, before they become a giant floating rock that has its own gravitational force, which just draws in more things.

I have too many ideas, and it's really hard to focus on any one of them for very much longer, before I get another idea I want to write or I go back to an older story to try and write up another chapter for.

I have almost fifty stories up, and there are a fair amount of them that I had a massive drive and inspiration for at one point in time. I had made it a goal of mine that when I moved to a new writing platform, I'd do my best to not post random shit I'll never finish; sadly, it seems I was unable to attain that goal. Most of the stories I have posted now are ones that I've long lost inspiration for, I don't feel anything when I look at them except 'meh'. I know there are a lot of people who want to see these ideas reborn, come back to life and be updated until they finish.

But to tell you the truth, a fair bit of these ideas I went into not knowing what the ending was going to be.

Let's talk about a few of them, for example; City of the Damned: The Lost Ones, a really ambitious story of mine that was this... weird sort of humans getting displaced from dozens of walks of life into Equestria, from a small American suburban neighborhood, to a joint military base in Iraq, a group of fuel injected adrenaline junkies, and so on. That was a fun idea that came to mind and I forgot why.

To this day, I still don't remember what the end-goal of this story was, or why I wrote it. It was fun, yeah, but in the end the story just died on me because I couldn't keep track of everything I had going on in the stories; so many character arcs, things to connect, and plots to wrap up with no clear ending in sight.

_id:2317332

So I had to quit, because of the overwhelming storylines I had made.

That was just one story though.

What A Wonderful Life is another story of mine that I had written, with no clear ending in sight. I can't lie when I say it'll be something I could finish if I tried, because while I know how it could end and what roads it may take, I don't have the energy or drive to finish it, because the idea doesn't interest me anymore.

A lot of ideas are like that, the ones posted anyone, and the few that I had started writing and teased in blogposts but never posted to the site for people to read.

It's one of the stories I struggled with for a good while, but it's not a story I struggled with as much as my magnum opus.

Without You

A lot may remember this story, maybe some recall me talking about it in Discord servers or just in general. It's a story that was close to me, close to my heart because of what it was supposed to represent; a decently written self insert. Not gonna try for 'all time great self insert', naw, even though a part of me kind of hoped to reach that point.

My writing is subpar, and I've been given tips on how to improve, but I don't care enough to improve my writing. What started out as me writing for shits and giggles started to take a more serious route, until it started to trouble me, keep me awake,. and stress me out as I struggled day after day to bring out the words that were inside of my mind, but refused to come forth.

I know where the whole damn story will go, from start to finish, but getting it out? It's so fucking difficult, and this whole story isn't even done yet. Without You was just one story in a series, ones I haven't been able to get to for almost six years now because of a whole slew of reasons; real life, stress, suicidal thoughts, my job, just... irl in general eating away at my drive.

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It's just one of those things, I guess.

I still do my best to update what I can, every day, I struggle against the odds because I want to finish this story, but I guess I don't want to finish it too badly, considering even now, I'm writing non-pony fanfiction and experiencing more joy in it then I do for Pony at the moment.

I'm not leaving the site, nor will I quit writing pony, but non-pony stuff has been a breath of fresh air. I think once I manage to finish some things, maybe I'll be able to focus more... or not, it just depends.

Thanks for reading, friends.