The Things The CMC Are Not Allowed To Do got taken down so

The Things The CMC Are Not Allowed To Do In School got deleted by admins so I had to remake the list as a blog.

1. The official CMC motto may be whatever you want it to be, but you may not shout it out in class if it includes the words:

   • Necrophiliac
   • Genocide
   • Bukakke
   • Femdom
2. Ferris Bueller is not a role model.

3. Neither is Edward Elric.

   • Alphonse Elric, however, is.
4. You may not yell "Move it, Background Ponies!" in order to get to classes faster.
5. You may not throw other students through the mirror portal to 'See what they turn into'.

6. When running for student president, your posters may not depict:

   • Other students in any form or situation
   • Meat grinders
   • Claims that you are endorsed by the princesses
   • Claims that you are endorsed by Faust
   • Claims that those who say you are not endorsed by the princesses or Faust are class traitors
   • Claims that this list is 'More what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules'
   • Closeups of anybodies plot, but especially the princesses.
7. None of you are allowed to run for student president.
8. Countering detention slips by giving the teacher your own handmade detention slips will no longer work.
9. Neither will Uno reverse cards or Go To Jail cards.
10. You may not slowly do the Macarena during moments of silence, nor may you ask why this is a rule.
11. You may not toss a sword at students in the library and attempt to duel them.
12. You may not refer to Discord in person OR in any artistic depiction as 'Dr Moreau's dildo'

13. The following may not be brought to show and tell:

    • Chimeras
    • The corpses of your parents
    • Stuffed rabbits
    • Jesus vs. Santa
    • Watership Down
    • A tape of the music video for Born Free
    • A tape of the music video for Come To Daddy
14. You may not encourage Communism in students.

15. CMC can stand for whatever you like, but you may not shout it out in class if it stands for:

    • Cheerilee Must Croak
    • Capitalism Must Crumble
    • Crush My Clitoris
    • Clap My Calami, with the Cs pronounced as S's
    • Circumcise Me Cap'n
16. When Sex Ed is announced to be in session, you may not give bedroom eyes to any students named Edward.
17. You may not accuse teachers of war crimes.
18. You may not trick students or faculty into asking who Joe is.
19. You may not attempt to convince students or faculty that they were born humans and mysteriously teleported to this dimension, and they need to find their parents through the mirror portal.
20. You may not run casinos in class.

21. You may not refuse classwork under the pretense that:

    • You had your brain drained by aliens
    • You're gay
    • You have dumb bitch disease
    • You are not a smart pony
    • You died years ago, and the teacher needs to let go and be at peace
    • You're a changeling
    • You've resolved to cut toxic influences out of your life
    • It violates your religious beliefs

22. You may not dress up as Persona characters and assault students.

    • Shin Megami Tensei characters are still Persona characters.
23. You may not beyblade battle your teacher for a better grade.
24. When confronted with CCTV evidence that you violated a school rule, you may not attempt to get them arrested for possession of child pornography on the pretense that you were naked when it happened.

25. You may not airdrop the music video for Mr. Blue Sky to epileptic students.

    • Or Baby I'm Yours
26. You may not ship students or faculty.

27. While there is technically no rule against it in dress code, the following still may not be worn:

    • Fursuits
    • Fleshsuits
    • Plague Doctor Masks
    • Model Gundam Suits
    • Mannequin faces
    • Ball gags
    • Diamond Tiara face paint
28. You may not use throwing stars in class.

29. You may not adopt students or faculty and insist that 'Mother knows best'

    • Please give up custody of me, Sweetie Belle.
30. You may not adopt random changelings off the street.
31. You may not scribble out every instance of 'CMC' in this list and replace it with 'Diamond Tiara'
32. You may not ask yourself 'What would Rainbow Dash do?' when faced with any situation.
33. The Safety Dance is not a fire safety protocol.
34. When writing book reports, you may not refer to anything as 'Old as balls' unless you can back that claim up.
35. 'Trust me on this one bro' is not a cited source.
36. You may not play Megalovania over the school intercom.
37. 'I was purposefully going the wrong way to find better items' is not an excuse for being late.
38. 'I've learned it's better living in the moment, enjoy youth because it doesn't last' is not an excuse for violating these rules.
39. You may not feed smaller students to carnivorous students.

40. You may not refer to faculty as any of the following:

    • Mom
    • Dad
    • Cumslut
    • Dat Boi
    • Bruh
    • Bofa
    • Comrade
    • Mortal
    • Honey
    • Government Spy
    • Shrek
41. You may not sell Poison Joke as 'Lovely Jubbely Love Love Petals'
42. You may not put Oreo cream in a toothpaste tube and eat it in front of students or faculty.
43. You may not paint sleeping Zebra students to be one color.
44. You may not declare random students to be your arch nemesis and/or rival.
45. You may not use Nirik students as flamethrowers to kill spiders.

46. You may not give Diamond Dog students copies of Fallout: Equestria.

    • Or Griffin The Griffin
    • Didn't think I had to clarify this one, but the same goes for letting them listen to Diamond Dogs.
47. Dodgeballs are the ONLY acceptable projectiles during Dodgeball.
48. You may not attempt to convince students that there are 'forbidden cutie marks' you can unlock by doing inane tasks.

49. You may not convince the entire school to paint themselves to look like one single student.

    • I thought it was funny.
50. You may not do Mr. Mackey impressions when reading morning announcements.
51. You may not attempt to convince lunch ladies to let you put your feet in the lettuce.

52. You may not defend wrong answers with 'I know more about American Girl dolls than you'

    • Even if you do.

53. You may not attempt to fight the principal for better teacher pay.

    • Even if we are underpaid.

54. The following may not be used as payments for schoolyard bets:

    • Souls
    • Houses
    • Sandwiches of those not involved in the bet
    • Kidneys
    • Your place in class when negotiating with changeling students
55. You may not attempt to replicate moves seen in Dragon Ball Z on students or faculty.

56. You may not floss during class.

    • The dance. Please go back to flossing your teeth.
57. You may not teach students tax evasion.
58. You may not attempt to convince students that there is a school rule that forbids leaving the building during fires.

59. You may not claim any figures from history class are 'Dummy Thicc', especially if they are still alive and live in this town.

    • Twilight was on the floor laughing.
60. You may not begin book reports with '>be me'
61. You may not attempt to recreate episodes of Totally Spies or Powerpuff Girls in class.

62. You may not call other students gay for telling teachers when you break a rule.

    • You may, however, call them snitches.

63. You may not perform the following songs at school talent shows:

    • Milkshake
    • I Sit Down When I Pee
    • Words, Words, Words
    • Little Girls
    • The Bad Touch
    • Any song you sing in a Goofy impression
64. You may only write your own name on papers. You are not Diana, Princess of Wales.
65. You may not announce your arrival in class with the Team Rocket Motto.
66. You may no longer pay marching bands to follow students or faculty.
67. You may not play air ride sirens in class.

68. You may not bring chickens to parent teacher conferences and claim you are their child.

    • SCOOTALOO
69. You may not threaten to build another, better school next door with 'blackjack and hookers'
70. You may not try to convince other students that there is a secret 19th story. This school is one story tall. I really don't know where you three were going with that one, but I was afraid.
71. You may not start Warriors roleplaying sessions during recess. There are still students hospitalized from Twist's betrayal of Thunderclan.
72. You may not cross out 'Succeed' on motivational posters and replace them with 'Suck Seed'.
73. You may not replace motivational posters with Soviet propaganda.
74. You may not unionize the lunch ladies.

75. You may not tamper with student or faculty files in any way. This includes:

    • Changing your own names (ex: Scootalewd)
    • Writing that two students or staff members are married
    • Changing anyone's species to 'Simp'
    • Writing down 'Schoolwork' as an allergy
    • Writing down 'Yes' in the sex blank
    • Changing anybody's grades to spell 'BAZINGA'
    • Writing down 'chonk' in the weight blank
76. You may not declare yourself nonbinary to stand up first when classes are being dismissed by gender.

77. You may not convince other students to break these rules in your place 'For the Vine'

    • Or at all.

78. You may not flush anything down the toilet that is not waste.

    • Diamond Tiara does not count as waste, although I respect your reasoning.

79. You may not refer to Chrysalis as your 'Waifu' in book reports.

    • Nor Sombra as your 'Husbando', although I agree.
80. 'Nice cock bro' is not a formal greeting.
81. You may not hide Bluetooth speakers in the classroom to play bass boosted 'Hewwo' sounds.
82. You may not play 'Pumped Up Kicks' in school under any circumstances.
83. You may not attempt to convince students that kissing each other is a germ-free substitute to shaking hooves.
84. You may not refer to changeling students as 'Vriskakin'
85. You may not refer to any black-furred students as 'Mary Sues' or 'Edgelords'
86. You may not try to convince other students that pegasi are ground up for lunch food.
87. You may not tell other students that 'Fetish' is a fancy word for crush. Three student have come up to me and admitted they had a fetish for me.

88. You may not substitute the word 'SUCKMYTOE' for 'SOHCAHTOA' when showing your work on math equations.

    • Or 'SCOOTALOO'
89. You may not sell Scootaloo's feathers as 'Phoenix Downs'
90. You may not claim that teachers are 'flirting with you' when confronted about late work.
91. You may not attempt to convince other students that 'peanut butter' is a bad word and the proper term is 'busted nut cream'.
92. You may not attempt to film your own episodes of Jackass with other students.
93. When guiding new students, you may not refer to them as 'D-Classes'.
94. Lord Of The Flies breakdowns and betrayals traditionally happen after days separated from society, not twenty seconds after the teacher leaves.

95. You may not convince the entire class to put in lines to Fuck Shit Stack as Kahoot nicknames and purposefully fail questions so the final leaderboard has the song in order.

    • Although I was very impressed.
96. You may not send any memes you deem 'spicy' to your teachers.
97. You may not remind staff members that their designation consists of two synonyms for male genitalia.

98. While I agree that it is very condescending for a teacher to refer to any of you as 'son', that still does not give you the right to call him 'daddy'.

    • You may also not tell him to 'be gentle daddy' when he hands back failed assignments, or 'dominate me daddy' when he's reprimanding you.
99. Apples are not a religion. You may not declare anything that inconveniences you 'Blasphemous to the Almighty Apple'.
100. You may not write book reports in the first person as the antagonist.
101. 'We require more minerals' is not an excuse for not doing your homework.

-Cheerilee

Comments

[Natedogg2006]

Looks like they nailed ya huh. Oh well, I'll repost my lost comment here.
97 took me a few moments, then I snorted so hard it hurt. Bravo.
Any idea why it got pulled?

[Str8aura]

5227597
lists arent allowed as stories apparently.

[Natedogg2006]

5227629
Lame. There was a story element, even if it was just a framing device. And that got featured too. Hope it wasn't like your first or something like that because then that would be sad.

[jaime_lion]

Yep I have had a couple of these

No mater how bland your food is you may not ask a police officer for his pepper spray.

You can not be made a sergeant in the military just because you have logged in over 5000 hours in call of duty.

[A_Bloodthirsty_Unicorn56]

Do I know you from reddit? I'm the guy that does the Celestia photoshop series.

[Str8aura]

5231512
indeed I am. Nice to see you here.

[reader238]

i am seriously disappointed in my self that I never thought of doing a good number of these when i was in school

[publiq]

The members against the staff.

[SoulstringsReburn]

They got into meme culture, I don’t know wether to be proud or terrified

[Golden Tassel]

I don't know how I ended up here, but I wish I could +fav and upvote a blog.

[pterrorgrine]

Hi it's that guy from Reddit. Does this still count as reading one of your stories? Because it was a very good choice, even if I am angry and/or confused about some of these.

[Radu Nightshade]

Les goo!!! I saw a reading of this and I’m glad it’s back!