Someone needs to have a long talk with the writers of 2020 · 6:43am Mar 19th, 2020
If you had told me last year that one of my fanfictions would legitimately predict the future, I would never have guessed it would have been Watch! Watch!
ART:
"Your dream isn't arrests, Miss Rainbow. It's making a difference."
"How are we going to stop crime with gently phrased requests?"
"You'll never know," Carrot said brightly, "until you try."
LIFE:
BALTIMORE (WJZ) — Baltimore Mayor Jack Young urged residents to put down their guns and heed orders to stay home after multiple people were shot Tuesday night amidst the coronavirus pandemic.
Young said hospital beds are needed to treat positive COVID-19 patients and not for senseless violence. Seven people were shot Tuesday night in the Madison Park neighborhood, as Baltimore reported its fifth positive coronavirus case Wednesday.
“I want to reiterate how completely unacceptable the level of violence is that we have seen recently,” Young said.
Time to sue!
I mean, I guess 2020 has already worked its way through all of its original material in the first few months, so it's not a huge surprise that it's had to start cribbing others' notes to keep things interesting.
Please stop doing bad things.
I love it, I hate it, it makes no sense. But I don't blame him for trying. Keep us in the loop if any correlations appear!
A sticker I once saw in San Francisco: "Prevent theft: Don't steal anything!"
"we don't like this story anymore- it's getting too confusing and stupid. whoever is in charge of this season doesn't know what he is doing."
And here I thought "Please tell us if you don't receive this message" would be the most ridiculous thing I'd encounter this week...
But, y'know, just recently. All that violence that happened before this whole Coronavirus thing? Perfectly acceptable. So please, all you gangsters and violent thugs, just keep it in your pants (or wherever else you hide your weapons) until this whole Coronavirus thing is over, m'kay?
5223457 Illiterate? Write for free help.
Well I suppose the hands-off approach is slightly better than:
https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/public-global-health/487984-police-nationwide-ask-criminals-to-halt-activity
Oddly enough, this is similar to how my current front-burner fic starts too.
Keep bleeding into real life, ponies!
To be fair, you based it on Discworld and that series was already mostly based on reality...
Somewhere, there's a 60ish mob boss having the newspaper read to him (that's why he has people), who decides that now is a great time for business because everyone is away from work, all those empty buildings and the cops are busy elsewhere... On the other hand, he's smoked all his life and is probably at a very high risk, maybe he should have the boys see if any hand sanitizer fell off the back of the truck at Sam's? Upon further reflection, most of his cappos and soldati are as old as him or thereabouts, maybe he should should declare a lie low order. No sense dieing from something you can't even see.
And somewhere else a 20 something gang boss says,"F*ck 'em. I'm gonna live forever, it's everyone else that's gonna die."
Well, maybe.
That story won the contest because it was so funny. It was not meant to be so funny because it's true. Two years before something happens is far too soon to tell a joke in good taste. I might have to revoke my recommendation...
5223558
Too soon.
WAY too soon.
edit: Now I want to write a story about a subconscious psychic who only jokes about tragedies before they happen.
We live in the weirdest timeline
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As weird as this is, it is not as weird as the events in unsong.
5223657
"I wanted some California beachfront property, so I bought a house in Nevada. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it!"
"The worst thing about the war with Brazil is you can already see all the 'nuts' headlines! A real mixed bag of these Brazil nuts! Making me hungry. Well, I can already see the headlines, you nice folk are going to have to wait a bit."
"I just flew in from London, and boy am I glad it was a one way ticket. You thought I was going to say 'boy are my arms tired'? Folks, these aren't the kind of arms you ought to be worrying about-"
Wow.