Honest Trailers: The Pony of Vengeance · 5:53am Jan 20th, 2020
From BradyBunch, the author of such depressing stories such as Scorpan's Confession, The Cult of Faust, and... Rainbow Dash Confesses Her Love To You? (Huh. The guy really writes around a lot) comes a feature-length novel based on the MLP franchise that might be his most-acclaimed story to date... if you don't count his cuddly ASMR stuff.
The Pony of Vengeance
Prepare for a dark vigilante take on the innocent pony world, where the crime is up, the blood is flowing, and the police force is full of idiots.
Entering the crime scene, whooping and yelling war cheers, were twenty sloppily dressed, tough-looking ponies. The cops guarding the scene were lying facedown in their own blood.
The city of Manehattan has fallen under the cruel shadow of a Night Terror hell-bent on revenge against the alternate-universe Donald Trump.
Senator Count Privilege was a unicorn with an upturned nose and an aristocratic bearing... His coat was the color of gold, with his mane a silvery color. His eyes were the color of diamonds, a light grey that sparkled and shone like the precious stone.
His image was one of disgust by the ponies of Manehatten. He had expressed a public distaste of the ponies who did not have it as good as he did. He ignored corner street beggars. He had called the ponies who had given to charity "self-righteous ponies who donated because they wanted to make themselves look good"- even though that was exactly what he did behind everyone's back. And to top it all off, he was now on his third marriage, divorced twice because his wives before had been pressuring him to buy more and more things for them, while Count Privilege wanted the money more for himself.
And to achieve his revenge and beat him into a pony meatball, he'll pull off every edgy antihero trait in the book, like: a vindictive catchphrase...
"The unrepentant are the unforgiven," he uttered with pure malice in every drop.
...Standing in front of a bunch of flames...
He was silhouetted against the tall forest of fire behind him, his image distorted by the heat waves emanating off of the fire. They could see nothing of his dark figure, other than that he was a pony who was standing upright, pointing something at the burning corpse.
...Stating his goals for the reader to absorb...
“No, I’ve only been getting rid of the ponies that are contributing to making the world dirty! I’m the sanitizer! Not the one that’s made it dirty in the first place!”
... and still end up becoming the reader's favorite character by the end. Because, you know, antiheroes!
Do you like the Mane Six? Yes? Well, too bad. Because they're there, but they mostly just react to whatever the Night Terror's doing. Where there were once developed, deep, complex characters, now there are mostly representations of them in their bare-bones element, where the author had to struggle to even give each of them a line of dialogue in each scene they appeared in, and the most that's done is a temptation for Rainbow Dash and Twilight to think like the Night Terror. Heck, I don't think Spike did anything. He could have literally been cut out from the story, and nothing would have changed.
Instead, prepare to get emotionally invested in... the leader of organized crime--aaaand he's dead after three chapters. Uh, how about this griffon Kevin that we see, like, twice--Oh? No? Huh. How about the Police Commissioner? No? Dang. His assistant? No?! Oh, come on! You have all these great characters that could have been further exploited! But nooo, we need to read about the Night Terror having an internal monologue about injustice and his vision of the world!
Would the Mane Six agree with his logic? They had to, wouldn't they? He was doing what was right. It was better that a few bad ponies die than to allow them to continue to corrupt the natural order of good, innocent ponies, the way life was supposed to be organized! The plainly obvious structure of How Society Ought To Be!
Prepare for action scenes that entertain and delight, but would be more in place in a comic book...
He grabbed the missile as it came close, spun around, and hurled the missile back at the griffon like he was throwing a ball. It detonated upon impact with the street, and the pony had disappeared in the smoke that followed.
But (he) didn't notice the grenades being rolled at his feet from the other side.
SHBOOM!
And as the story sprints to the finish line, prepare to have your heart ripped out of you in a hauntingly, beautifully tragic rooftop scene, then have your butt on the edge of your seat for the movie's explosive, MCU-style climax that ends in one of the most drawn-out (EIGHT PARAGRAPHS!!) death reactions ever created.
I'm not crying. You're crying. This is for the better, isn't it? I didn't even... *sniff* like this story in the first place!
So prepare for an action-packed, fun, chilling, but ultimately amateurish dramatic gorefic, full of purple prose...
The device itself looked like a bizarre wedding of a TV monitor, a radio transmitter, a security camera, and a satellite dish, with cables, wooden bases, and antennae sticking out of it in seemingly random places. The device, with a bit of cutting-edge help from Ironheart himself, was connected wirelessly into every radio and every TV and every method of electrical communication in the city.
...melodrama...
“I will take him,” Celestia groaned, blood running into her mouth from the three scars on her cheek. “You must find some way to stop this, Twilight.”
“No!” Twilight refused, ignoring the burning in her flank and on the top of her horn. “Celestia, I can do this! I can stop him on my own--”
...and an anti-bully message with a high school tormentor that would make Biff from Back To The Future look like an upstanding citizen.
"That whorse of a mother you had should have aborted you when she had the chance," he hissed, and he spat on me.
But hey, if it means we get a great story and an awesome villain, I can put up with a bit of childish choices, right?
"May it be," he started to murmur gently, harmoniously, "an evening star shines down upon you."
D-ah-what?! A power ballad?! Uh... most of the childish choices.
STARRING:
The Police Commissioner: Carl Winslow
Count Privilege: Joe Biden
Dr. Brainstem: The Guy in Disaster Movies Who Tries To Warn People, But Nobody Listens To Him Because He Keeps Dropping His Papers
Case File: HE HAS RED EYES! HE HAS RED EYES! HE'S EVIL!
Bright Mind: The Professor Made A Lie Detector Out Of Coconuts!
Bright Mind's Journal: The Black Book: The More You Know
Amadeus: 🎶Stabbed Through The Heart, And You're To Blame~🎶
A bunch of random criminals whose names were provided, but we don't care about
Rainbow Dash: 🎶A Bleeding Rainbow~🎶
Slowly, slowly, she rose up on trembling, torn legs. Transparent glass shards, some of them as small as a grain of sand, were lodged in her face and in her forehead.
Fluttershy: Fluttercry
SMACK
Fluttershy flew backwards, a bright red mark on her cheek where Amadeus had slapped her. She thudded on the ground, making a pitiful sound. She curled up in a ball, took a few short ragged inhales, and cried.
Twilight and Pinkie Pie: Pinky and The Brain
Rarity, Spike, and Applejack: Wait, we're in this?
And The Night Terror: Inspector General Grievous Gadget T-800
My Little Pony: Under The Red Hood
You know what's even better than this fic? The HISHE!
Wow Brady! This is so incredible. The fine details and imagery really captivated me and as I read the great details, I can picture the scene within my mind. I love it!
5189754
Wait a sec. You read the entire story?!
5189760
No! The blog is what I meant to say! I will read the story! Don't worry!
5189763
Oh. Heh. For a second, I thought... Wow. I jumped to conclusions really quickly. Sorry.
5189767
It's alright Brady! It happens to everyone sweetie!