A review: Fallout: Equestria - Scoundrels by Scaramouche · 2:20am Nov 15th, 2019
Story:
[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]
Author: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/113667/Scaramouche
Now first of all I want thank Scaramouche for his glowing review he gave me. Which has made me hesitant to write this review. As agreed I read the first 5 chapters and it may not be entirely complete without reading more of his story.
The writing style is different for the narrator compared to my own. It is written how you would expect a griffin to speak. Harsh, to the point, little description, and definitely a jaded waste-lander / raider.
Which is the next thing: The definition of Raider used here is certainly not the same as the one I would use. They are much more wastelanders than raiders to me. They just don't really have a settlement to call home. It was something that irked me a bit till I realized that they live in Manhattan.
What they call a raider to them is less what we do. To them a Wastelander lives in like Ten Pony Tower not a scrap settlement they built themselves.
The thing about this was I enjoyed reading it. The way the story played out was something of a fascination with Elm / Deadwood acting as more the Captain Jack Sparrow of Raiders, the Griffin's way of rough talking, and the general tone of the story being: "We're already screwed, let's just try to just not screw ourselves more."
I feel there is a deeper mystery here but it is very slow to build.
The action scenes are done okay, there were parts I had to re-read to figure out what exactly had happened and the descriptions are sparse. I get that it is the style of the griffin but there is ALOT left for my brain to fill in when it comes to the descriptions of combat, where exactly someone's wing was cut and how, the falling of a building, how someone died from getting shot, etc.
I may be a little nitpicky here but this is a story I could read to the end and get enjoyment out of but it is not something that draws me in and I would read constantly over the course of a day. Rather something I would casually read for an hour to turn my brain off. There isn't a whole lot to ponder, the characters are somewhat interesting, the story has a thorough plot to it, but they lack any form of sympathy or empathy from me as a pony (person).
Saramouche doesn't shy from violence, drug use, or sex. He let's you see the wasteland through a character that calls themselves a raider and likes the life they have. Well not necessarily likes but certainly has the PTSD to back it up mixed with the 'Whelp, get what I can while I can and just enjoy it.' Crow isn't a character who has any long term goals beyond get food today, get more bullets, fuck some creature (male or female doesn't matter to her!) and get drunk.
Deadwood feels a bit too, out there. If there were done a bit better with more description and detail about Deadwood he would be a perfect fit for Jack Sparrow. As it stands it leaves me wanting more information about how he acts and certainly how he looks.
This is that sort of story, where the visual details are left a bit too far to the imagination but not so far left out you can't get every single part of it in your head.
I genuinely feel bad about leaving a review that is mixed, not glowing. But I hope Saramouche takes this and becomes a better author or even possibly re-writes these parts in order to get the details that are missing.
I was entertained, I wasn't completely captivated by Scoundrels. But it is worth a read to see if you like the more harsh and direct style of listening to a griffin narrator, Crow in this case. It is worth reading in my opinion for no other reason than to see a completely different writing style and read the perspective of a "Raider" in the wasteland who doesn't want to be a raider anymore.
Not to mention the secrets of a Stable labelled T-Thirty instead of 30 or 33 makes for a interesting conundrum. The group is living up to their name and I think that is part of the issue for me.
My real complaint and biggest one is: after 5 chapters, I don't want Crow and Deadwood to succeed.
I don't know why they are the way they are from their past. I don't understand how they can just take things and not feel bad about it. Hell, Crow spares a foal and his mother. When asked why, she has three possible answers and replies with "I don't know." Then leaves them there. She doesn't give a reason why she answered that way instead of the first three thoughts. All of which make more sense than the answer she gives them!
I want to know what molded these characters less than the adventure into Stable T-Thirty. I want to know why this Stable is so, Normal and willing to help? And I want to know why Crow is so messed up? Why Deadwood is Nutz? And why Gypsy is well Gypsy?
These are questions I am left with at the end of the five chapters. I like the Narration style if I wanted something less engrossing and more turn my brain off and just enjoy the ride. Where this goes I will see, I'm going to give it two (2) more chapters.
Despite all my complaints and issues, I'm going to give it two more and see if I amend this review.
I really enjoyed the song numbers. The fact that Gypsy sings while getting eaten out is priceless! Yes the sex is sparse in description but trust me when I say: Crow doesn’t leave a ton to the imagination. The entire chapter devoted to a music number, was worth reading. Deadwood in that moment shines the most! But leaves me wondering what, if anything, means anything to him! His other actions: Discarding *****, and pretending ***** is dead are just too sociopathic for me to want him to succeed. Yes, here we are, in a stable that I honestly am surprised they got this far.
I know not what waits for them ahead yet and I wanna see what T-Thirty is about. Oh and honestly, by chapter 5, I want Deadwood to die, Crow to find a heart and a reason to live, and Gypsy to just get into Crow’s bed already.
There said my piece, What are you thoughts?
Interesting, I read his review of your story and found it pretty on point with my own opinions. I haven't had a chance to get to his story yet due to my giant reading list, but I should take a look after your review
Thank you for an honest and constructive review! Gives me some good things to work on, fix, and you are asking the right questions. Thanks for taking the time to do this.
All good things,
Scara
5155769
I umm... thought you were not reading me anymore or didn't actually like where the story. But if you found his review on point I guess damn; that makes me feel even better knowing that.
5155773
I hope it helps you become better and I look forward to what you do next or where Scoundrels goes (finishing Chapter 6 now)
5155785
I guess I fell off on comments to be fair, I'll Be Better 
Whaaat? I'm in the middle of the most recent chapter right now
5155791
Thank you very much then! I'm glad you are still here for the thing that is gonna happen in 44 is gonna hammer everyone!
Sounds interesting. Better Watch out for climamity
5155829
watch out for what?
5155830
Dead shot calamity. You know, little pip's Pegasus Friend with his shoot First ask later Policy towards Raiders?
5155831
OH damn.
5155834
Indeed. Except, they Made a name on the Radio with good deeds, that could save them from him