State of the author · 7:18am Oct 16th, 2019
So it's been one hell of a month... so far. Adult commentary below.
The month started out good. I was and still am writing, work is still going great even if I've been there a year and don't have a passion for it like I did when I was cooking, but the stress tends to be so much less and I'm healthier by far.
Now for the heavy stuff. First of all, I'm alive, well, and have no idea or plan or anything of hurting myself or anyone else, even though the thought of covering my ex's van window with axle grease has been planned and formulated in my mind. >:c)
I found out my eldest son attempted suicide a week after the fact, because my ex didn't want me to blame her and hurt her feelings for leaving him home alone for months with no supervision or rules while she spent all her time with her polygamous family.
I say polygamous because he's married to her best friend and at first my ex wanted to leave me so he'd leave her, and fulfill all the promises he'd been making beyond rocking the $18,000 truck she bought him. Eventually, they told the wife/best friend and she accepted my ex into the marriage without being able to legally marry him.
They now share the guy... and he's not exactly a step up, mind you. Anyway, back on track!
He had a girl over and they were fooling around, he bit her hard because she claimed to be a masochist, then told her friends as school who then meme'd him and he reacted as many emotionally unstable kids without supervision tend to do and took two bottles of his Rx. If he hadn't done it so late in the evening his mother wouldn't have seen him pass out shortly after her hook up.
She called the police and her poly-family, spent a day with him, and then they talked with him about how it was mostly my fault for telling him he was worthless, which I absolutely did not.
So, that happens and I find out, freak out on her lying, selfish, whore ass and lo and behold, the next week when my kids are to come over, they don't show up. I call her and ask why, she doesn't answer and an hour later a police detective calls me. My kids told social services that I'm touching them inappropriately so I can't see them until I prove my innocence.
In the middle of these events, I get commissions and while I can write here and there, I spent the better part of a week sleeping and bumming out, meds be damned. She also used my bank to pay her credit card so I'm overdrawn and have to fight that, too.
Karma is gonna spank her so hard, but until then she's gonna feel like she's winning. I'm just waiting for the call that says everything has crumbled around her and I can't wait to laugh at her.
OH yeah, lastly, I have a call recording where she begs me and offers to bribe me with $200 to lie to her poly-family over some disagreement she said was my fault. I flatly deny her and she begs me for several minutes offering to increase the payment before I hang up on her.
I won't sell my morals and dignity in the first place, why would I for her? lol
Who she left *me* for. What a looker, huh? He was 25 with 3 kids we were **born**.
She found her man in a married guy who openly admits that only wants her for her body and won't leave his wife for her. That she's literally just his 'girlfriend'. But, she's waiting and hoping he'll choose her and leave his wife.
Proof of madness, right there. 
Now, to add on to her whole issue; she also pines to be back with me for sexual reasons because in her own words, "...you're bigger than he is, you last longer, and you loved me for me and not only my body..."
There isn't an emoji worthy of how that makes me feel.
Well DAMN! That's....that's just fucked up.....
My friend...
1)You need to lawyer up, NOW
2)You need to close any joint bank accounts and cards you still hold with her
3)You need to end ALL direct contact with her for now, all communication is thru your Lawyer (see #1)
4)GET A LAWYER, NOW (See #1)
5140613
What he said.
Or a paralegal who can at least advise you (they in most places cannot represent you in family court or such but that doesnt mean they cant advise you and you representing yourself). Thats assuming this is some "get more money out of you in family court scheme" might also be a simple "she fucked up and deflecting to get someone else in trouble". Please be careful either way, depending on the age of the kids and the laws she as their "guardian" or whatever holds all the cards and can mess you up badly since they might not be able to question the kids without her around.
If you have to communicate, check if your state (i assume your american?) is a two or one party consent state. And even then check the details. And record all to hell and back. If no consent is required or simply a "i am recording this" then your golden. If not then if you must go through some form of communication that is recorded by default like emails or such.
Also please be careful with that recording, again depending on what laws you have, you might be in trouble for it.
And i do hope you wont even think of going back together, she would just use you until she can jump on to a new one.
Edit: Also, what court granted her the kids with her living as a "side hoe" to a married guy... well i answer it myself, a family "court"...
Saw your review on QC, read your blog, and let me just say, I'm really sorry she done you wrong, Mocha. I'm sure you've been told this by other folks, but you can do sooo much better, your ex is, frankly, pathetic. I sincerely hope you don't get involved with her more than you absolutely have to, since there are kids involved you have to be involved somewhat, I get that, but she sounds, to coin an SJW phrase, toxic as fuck. At the very least, she's not to be trusted.
That is not to say that you HAVE to do better, just that she set the bar very low. This is all my opinion, and I know sometimes people get odd about their baby mama, but I hope you protect yourself going forward. She is going to use any social interaction you have from this point forward to get an advantage in the things she thinks she wants. Her comments about wanting "pines to be back with me for sexual reasons because in her own words, "...you're bigger than he is, you last longer, and you loved me for me and not only my body..." that's her trying to keep you around as a fallback option. She doesn't DESERVE a fallback option. You don't do something to someone like that and then expect them to just take it. You just don't DO that.
Save your text messages, all these comments she's sending you, they may protect your ass going forward. It is decidedly odd in the eyes of the law, that a woman would be pining for you to love her, when she is saying that you may have abused or molested her kids. Cover your ass man.
I don't normally comment to folks who review, but your situation really hit me, and I feel so much empathy for you, man. Stay strong, it's not your fault, you are only responsible for your happiness, not anyone else's. You make anyone else responsible for your happiness, you set yourself up for disappointment.