end of an era · 5:37pm Oct 13th, 2019
my little pony is over.
and i dont know what to say.
I keep rewriting these words over and over again like a elegy, but i realize its no longer for the show, but instead my youth.
Youth drenched in darkness, in depression, bullying, apathy, anxiety, nihilism and crippling loneliness. youth that left a shell of a person stumbling blindly into the unknown
I dont know how or why but it was that goddamn horse show and every brony involved that handed me a light before i even knew i needed one
It spurred me to draw, to write, to take back that creative spark i’d lost somewhere along the way. it lead me to meeting my best friend, the only person ive ever found myself on the same page with. it gave me the want to pursue creative dreams i didnt know i even had
inadvertently it set the course of my life. I never realized that.
it didnt keep the dark at bay forever
I dropped the show halfway though when life started spiraling down down down. I havent touched it since, not because i dont want to but because im scared. i dont know of what. maybe a part of me that doesnt want to let go of the one thing that accidentally kept me alive.
maybe im saving it for the day the darkness is gone
i can hope. maybe.
i dont know.
i feel so old now. like ive lived lifetimes. im tired
but.
for the first time in a long time, i think i found a light again. my light. its dim but i made it myself. and maybe i can pull though. get up. start marching. the darkness ends somewhere.
find it
but for now, i guess im just reminding myself that ponies and everything they brought will forever stay a part of me. and im better for it
/)
I hope you find that light at the end of the journey.
And if ponies helped you find that first hidden path, all the better. They certainly made my life a little bit brighter.
Take care, and thanks for your writing. I wish you all the best.
5138480
I never did say it before but thank you as well. for sticking with me and my nihilistic ramblings through the years. it meant a lot.
so take care yourself, yeah?
5139834
Well, your ramblings brightened my day every now and then... weird how that goes.
Will do! Or at least try to. ;)