Something rather than nothing. · 12:01am Oct 8th, 2019
Hey.
I'm sure those who see this blog post and actually give a damn will be excited for news of some kind after I pretty much went dark in June after posting Fixing Cadence's Cavern.
"Does this mean an update is coming soon?"
No.
At least not yet. I'm not entirely sure what happened other than I stumbled, tripped, and wound up becoming; what I imagine, is a big beautiful bout of depression.
There's no modivation, every other day I look at myself and think, "it's about time I pulled the fuckin' plug in this" and just give up. The people that are/were/who knows, around me noticed how back and forth I've been. Honestly, I'm really sure it's a huge annoyance to listen to me bitch and complain and throw little tantrums all because on the inside I don't know how to feel.
At least if I was sad all the time, I could fix it. If I could pinpoint exactly what my issue was I'd fix it in a heart beat. If only I could understand why the hell I feel the way I do.
I'd fix it.
But I can't, not yet at least.
What does this mean for my stories? They will still be here, and I'll continue to work towards finishing things that I want done. The Cadence story, a sequel to Drilling the Captain, and even some new stuff like a Pinkie Pie story I was working on when I felt better a little bit ago.
I will say if I ever end up retiring from writing, all my work will continue to be posted so don't worry that one day I'll just wake up and nuke everything.
So yeah, I guess that's really all I've got to say. It's not much bit at least it's something. In the meantime, I've got a lot of work to do on my mental well being. I hope to have some new content before the end of the year if things go well.
Until then, see you in the next update.
~Synesisbassist
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I'm sorry that I push you too far sometimes. You have the talent and a lot of potentials, but you also have to take your own path and do the things you want to do. You're going about in circles and you need to ask why without self-loathing and blame on yourself. Spoiler alert? You're allowed to blame others. Your friends and family can be dicks. I know, I'm one of them.
Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything that doesn't pay bills or keeps Mrs. Syn happy. That isn't making you happy and in the long run that is making things harder for you. Focus on yourself for a bit, it's not selfish, trust me. if you want to write, then write, but don't force yourself to do it like Teacher told you to write 'I will not forget to write today' two-thousand times on a board. If it doesn't make you happy, why is it in your life?
It's not as simple as that with a mental illness, I know. I'm not telling you this like it's the magic pill to fix you. Captain Dickhead time; there isn't one. What this advice is aimed to offer is to make the pain a little more manageable, if only a little.
I wish you success, brother, but only if it's what you really want. If it is, I know you'll do it. If it isn't, you've not lost this guy. That's a terrible prize and I apologize, but you're stuck with me.
All good things,
Dusk.
if you manage to find a way to get through this, let me know please. kinda dealing with the same thing myself.
I get where you're coming from as I too struggle with depression and motivation. Take as much time as you need and come back when you can. I'd love to read more of your work and I hope you feel better soon. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
Squirrel. That is all