EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!! (Hardest version ever) · 3:58pm Sep 29th, 2019
Freedom Fighter!
Vs!
Ironheeeaaaaart!
Begin!
FREEDOM FIGHTER: Show me the adversary, and I'll cut him down to bits.
It's Freedom Fighter, baby! And with every single hit,
I'll bruise you even worse than Alpha ever did,
In less than three seconds, you'll be just another microchip.
Ironheart, is it? Good Faust, what a waste.
I’ll report this murder and call in a special case!
I know that we’re the same at our deep, essential core.
We’re existential ponies with robot parts, but before,
We were chosen! But then we were broken!
And pulled ourselves out of a hole and let our deeds be spoken!
But I'm a master duelist--with the staff and on the mic.
You've lost every single battle ever since you were a tyke!
Try to take down an evil politician? That's cool.
If it weren't for the fact that your abuse took place in high school!
Get over it! Like my patience with the rebels of the throne,
It's already over. Pack up your pea shooters and go home!
IRONHEART: What a grand yet pitiful notion you think you have.
You think you can stop me when you couldn't save your dad?
A cracker-white centipede squashed your whole tribe!
And the power I have caused my story's whole drive!
I'll attack with a pack of rockets on my back and a furious glare in my gaze
That makes foes go, "oh, no," and they run, off they go, 'till I shoot them headfirst in the face!
I'll cut through you! And all your friends too! ‘Cause I'm the strongest of all in the streets!
You're a crippled orphan with an arm you stole from me!
There’s nothing you have that could make me wish
I could have your life, but I’ll take it anyway with a swipe, swish!
You’re getting more burns, all in the third degree!
Want mercy? Don’t you see? That’s a luxury not even sheep
Would get when a sacrifice needs to be made--
An Element no one asked for but you think it makes you great!
Weak little pony! Scared little pony! I can’t say it enough, little pony!
Oh, you think you’re so tough, little pony?
Take some time off and get buff, little pony!
Don’t think you’re a good character just because you think you’re a gruff little pony!
I can rip your arm off and take your dead body and make it stuffed, little pony!
The Night Terror’s comin’ after ya, and he’s gonna call your bluff, little pony!
You’ll be pumped full of lead, with a lump for your head, ‘cause you wanted me to get rough, little pony!
FREEDOM FIGHTER: (After a shocked pause) All right, let's get nasty! Like your porn stash in the past!
I wish I could have seen the part when Alpha smacked your a**!
Let’s go back five years, when your back was overpacked
With crap piled on you from the lack black pack
Of humanity, and the one time you attacked,
You got a crack in your head as wide and wack
As the streak of insults you allowed to get on your mind
And drive you to the point of suicide!
You couldn’t take the pressure, so you run and hide!
I should have expected as much from a pussy boy who cried
At every little thing that hurt you! What a guy!
Move over, Alpha. He’s got the most amount of pride!
I never even tried before, but now I’ll decide
To really crack a whip on your sorry metal hide!
Success ain’t about the number that died under your misapplied
Notions of justice and fratricide!
It’s about the friends at your side, who will always stand beside
And when the time comes, when you need room, to step aside
And let you swing at a b**** who tried,
In his puffed-up arrogance and pride,
To roast you! Roast who? Me?
It was so faint, I need to ask, seriously?
Obviously! See, I can’t decide if you always were like this, ever since mitosis
Or if you grew your whiny self ever since the death of your mom and sis!
And they died from the force when I screwed ‘em both! They came to me
And fawned on my chest and deez!
I’m a demigod with the hottest bod!
Scars and muscles and smoldering eyes that ain’t got
No hesitation when it comes to protection
Of the ponies you love from your pint-sized erection!
I’m harder than you, and I don’t have balls!
Is it Hearth’s Warming, and are you the halls?
‘Cause I’m decking you! All that effort was small.
I’ll report your burns to the hospital. Let me take this call!
IRONHEART: Good! A challenge for me! But don’t you see?
No matter what you do, all rebellious life shall bow to me!
I’m the greatest of all life, and none can stay alive,
And the ones that try to stand up get a free pile-drive!
Noble Blade thinks, “Stronger, faster, braver,”
But the fastest of ‘em all is me! I never waver!
The inevitable victory is mine, so let me savor
This taste of your salty tears, the best flavor!
But it tastes best with your ashes when I roast you, so listen, friend.
Let me take a second and prepare for your end.
*record scratch*
Think I was fast before, well, I’m four score more
Hardcore than anypony’s seen before!
I’m made of ore from the core of the earth, and I roar
While exploring for the door that leads me to floor whores
And restore the gore of war (war) and the horrors now in store (store)
For you, and the other three fillies in your corps who’s suddenly not so big anymore!
I’m the hardest, farthest artist, and the power I harness
Is the largest and darkest--I ain’t being modest!
I’m a mean machine, and my hands aren’t clean!
You’ve been on the same routine since you were six or seventeen,
Like a dog, just a cog, not a pimp, just a hog,
Getting bogged and slowed down while you’re trapped in the fog!
Living lies! Forgiving dies, what’s it got to take to let you know that, guys?
You’re dirt! Alert! This is gonna hurt! This isn’t gonna be a big surprise!
Got your balls to the wall, Freedom Fighter. Let me call
You small, without gall, and disappointing in a verbal brawl!
All you are is a speck in a kingdom matriarchal.
You’re as hopeless as your romance with Twilight Sparkle!
noice
5130063
Who won?
5130066
I don't know I'm not a great judge when it comes to rapping
IIIIIIIIIIIIIII think its safe to say that Ironheart one that one, sorry Freedom Fighter
.