Free sci-fi tech... ideas.

I'm in bed after a Big Bang Theory marathon and I was thinking about teleportation technology à la Star Trek (which is more akin to excessively destructive cloning technology without any long-term memory) and thought of more conservative transportation. I then quickly thought of a joke with it.

"Step into this cryogenic sleep pod," said Engineer Bud Boffo. "We'll shrink it down to the size of a quark, attach it to an electron and fire you to Pluto at the speed of light through the medium of highly-focused laser."
"Whoa!" gasped Private Percy Perkins. "That sounds radical! Why do I have to sleep through it?"
"Because it's TOO awesome," Bud replied. "When we were testing this technology with chimps in regular old transparent titanium pods, they'd always come out the other end with dislocated jaws, cartoonishly popped eyeballs and giant bleeding craters where their brains should have been."
"Ouch. Sounds harsh, dude."

But since I have no intent on writing a sci-fi fic any time soon, I'm making the joke, and the technology that comes with it, open source and free. Consider it an apology gift for Chapter 2's freakishly long delay.