A Lunar Review · 4:34am Jul 4th, 2019
I know I haven't written much lately, but offline life has been busy, and I've been trying to write several abortive original-fic novels. Still, I'm lurking around Fimfiction, and I've recently been attacking the backlog in my Read It Later list. And, when I recently finished Chengar Qordath's "The Lunar Rebellion," I was moved to write a review. More precisely, I was moved to write an in-character review by the Luna from my "Brave Nocturne" - a number of years in the future along the plot arc I've mapped out.
OFFICE OF THE ROYAL RESEARCH MAGES,
CRYSTAL CITY CAMP,
YEAR 2 OF THE NEW ERA
With great discoveries comes fame, and with fame comes stories about oneself - including, apparently, some far-removed fiction. I was recently gifted an proof copy of "The Lunar Rebellion," a story where Celestia and I are Alicorns, I have been possessed by evil spirits, and (a hundred years later) Celestia is struggling to hold Equestria together.
Or, more accurately, she is holding together the Three Tribes - for with us on the throne rather than Twilight and Shining, the Tribes have not yet been unified into one Equestria. The story follows one Shadow Kicker, head of a Pegasus war-Clan. As the highly-militarized Pegasi depose Celestia from being their ruler, interfere in the Earth Pony elections, and then go to war against Queen Celestia of Unicornia; Shadow holds loyal to Celestia and flees to Unicornia. In the end, every surviving pony is exhausted from war, and Celestia's vizier - with Shadow Kicker's reluctant agreement - forcibly dissolves all pegasus Clans save Shadow Kicker's, exterminates the pegasus warriors unwilling to accept those terms of surrender, and tears down the Pegasopolis flag from the halls of Cloudsdale.
I do not say this narrative has insulted me. My reputation is public property; I trust my friends, and I will let my deeds defend me to others. Nor do I say it has abused my own character - after what I have seen from ponies ensorcelled by mere changelings, would I think myself too strong to be brought low by more powerful spirits? For sure, I did not feel lonely ere I discovered friendship, let alone lonely enough to call on evil spirits for aid - but over centuries of life as an immortal Alicorn, with Celestia by implication distracted by cares of rulership, it could happen. My one surprise was how I had before my possession spent several centuries among Pegasi - but perhaps, being an Alicorn, I had chosen to spend those centuries studying flight magic?
Nor do I object to the broad outlines of the setting. In our history, Twilight and Shining wrote a pre-thought plan to build a better society from the top down; when they brought us out of the chaos of Discord, they unified the Three Tribes at once in accordance with their plan. Such a plan would never have crossed my mind, and Celestia would rather spend her time helping individual ponies rather than working through all the details to make it practicable. So, by default, I believe we well might have gone with the previous organization Three Tribes' organization. This author has indeed hit upon Celestia's character when he shows her letting the Earth Ponies reelect her as Chancellor each year rather than working to change their government.
But still, I say this narrative has underestimated Celestia. Yes, she might have withdrawn in sorrow after my possession and banishment. Yes, a still-militaristic Pegasopolis might have escaped her attention till her too-late caring moves were taken as attacks. I give the author credit for a plausible war. But at the end - when Celestia has finally been pushed to take an active interest in her realms again, after personally re-banishing me from my "Avatar" - she would not have dissolved the Clans at the cost of killing pegasi who were willing to surrender on less-dragonlike terms. The author has again hit upon Celestia's character when he shows her appointing the effective sociopath Sunbeam Sparkle as chamberlain so as to nudge her over years into decency. (I will pass over the implications this Sunbeam is ancestor to our Princess Twilight Sparkle; the Princess's deeds will likewise defend her.) Why would she view the pegasus Clans as less deserving her gentle nudges?
True, as the story puts in Shadow's mouth, it would be a difficult project taking at least a generation. But immortal Alicorns have generations, and after the war Celestia is willing to spend time amending her faults. True, it would require a full reformation of pegasus culture - and it would be far more difficult than the real-life disbanding of Prince Shining's Trained Bands since they were never as embedded in our culture as the military was in this story's Pegasopolis. But I cannot see Celestia - even a Celestia still mourning my own possession - choosing such a harsh and bloody reformation as the story shows her choosing, at least while she was still true to her own character enough to reform Sunbeam. And were she no longer so true - I would tremble for all Equestria.
I pass in silence over the story itself (grippingly written), the loose sexual ethics but strict honor code of the pegasi (plausible enough, having come out of Discord's chaos without Prince Shining's example, and I myself am not offended), and the narrator Shadow and original characters (well painted, especially young Midnight whom Sunbeam is raising by herself - a unique pony concealing surprising secrets). I would not have read this had it used other names, but I would have missed a fair story.
DONE AT CRYSTAL CITY CAMP,
LUNA
(NOTE - My dear Rarity: I trust you didn't have any inkling of this when you urged me to try reading some novels? Regardless, I recognized something of your talk of Fabulosity in the Ephors' reasoning when they appoint my still-banished self as their nominal Commander, and again - from a biased perspective - in Sunbeam's lecture to Shadow about dealing with fame. Please don't be harsh; I really don't mind... but you may want to check on just what your little sister's been writing?)
Sweetie Belle was Chengar Qordath the whole time? My God...
In all seriousness, good to hear from you. Best of luck with the original fiction.
Likewise! Glad to see you back!
Sounds like a fun read! Though I must say I'm a little intimidated by its length...
5084631 I was too, but shortening the tale would've changed it. Especially at the beginning, the atmosphere of things going ever-so-gradually wrong is a very good part of it.
I think I've got everything ready to finish my original novel this year... but that's what I said last year too, and the year before that. Oh well; I'll keep working on something.
5084847
Awesome! Which novel is this? It's not a rework of Brave Nocturne, is it? Either way, good luck! Let me know if you need anything read/edited!
And, um... If you need some more time to get your
seawriting legs back, I still have a story or two that needs some TLC from a reader!5084864 No... the sequel for that has gone through several drafts and still stuck. It's a rework of the novel I was talking about in my last blog post (grumble grumble at my slowness.)
I might take you up on that offer; hopefully I'll have something soon?