Not Just Ponies (Conversion Bureau) Notes to whoever wants them

These are notes for Not Just Ponies. They are free for anyone to take. I've realized I'm falling into the same trap that snagged me with the pony pov series. Not again. Never again. So I'm leaving these here for anyone to use.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/TheConversionBureauNotJustPonies

Conversion Yeti

Twilight realizes where the illegal potions (Black Hive Changeling, Sirens, Yeti, Umbra, etc)

have been coming from, they were made by one of the factories they set up in the storm empire. The storm empire had the industrialization like Equestria has to make more of the potion.
She hadn't counted on the corruption there in.

Twilight is also made to see that the storm empire is not like the changeling hive where everyone changed a tune as soon as the storm king was dead except for some naughty changelings who had to be shown the light.

"So what humans did they offer species membership to?"

"Oh, ex-soldiers with dishonorable discharges, bitter veterans, mob enforces who wanted to 'disappear' instead of be liquidated. Anyone who had experience in applying 'force'. They've been scrambling to modernize their army the moment they heard about the technological gap between Equus and Earth, since magic was the one thing the Yetis and their allies never had in massive supply."

The Yeti spoke through the miracle of science, not magic. A speech-to-text program combined with real time translation software, the microphone, speaker, and tiny computer built right into his helmet.

While the dragons scoffed at the new technology, ponies and demi-ponies were left in awe like children, the griffins had tried to charm anyone with engineering know-how to their domain with titles and land (the only things they had left), the Yetis had been shocked everyone by diving right into learn anything and everything they could, offering wealth and status to any who joined the Storm Empire. And the New-Yetis were absorbed with open arms into their ranks as teachers and instructors... The speed they sought to modernize themselves was blinding. Then investigative reporters found out the Yetis were using their gold and jewels to buy modern weapons, equipment, ammunition, everything need to support a modern army.

With the Storm Empire's invasion of the Hippogriffs and Equestria fresh in Equus' minds, production of more of the Yeti potion were suspended indefinitely, and the remainder had been put in storage... though it wasn't wrong before it had 'mysteriously' vanished. Tariffs and sanctions were an unknown of concept on Equus, and mass communication was unheard of, newspapers only spreading so far as neighboring cities. And unlike some other former enemies of Equestria, the Storm Empire had never really been 'liberated' since the entire horde was mobile, and the Empire had for a time splintered off into multiple factions, and Celestia had never placed a puppet ruler to replace the Storm King.

"You were like us," the Yeti said through his helmet. "Your ancestors, they understood, the right of conquest. But over time, they were corrupted, and lost their way, as the ponies seek to corrupt all creatures with their way of thinking."

"It's easy to come around to someone else's way of thinking when they vaporize you out of existence in a giant fireball... ask the Japanese."

"How much power Celesia wields is not the point... the point is what the Obsidian Orbs proved."

"She's vulnerable. You don't have to be a 1000 year old bug queen or a chaos god or a relative of hers."

"Exactly. Many feared her before... But for all her might, even if she can bring the sun down on top of her enemies... she's proven she is not invincible. Even dragons aren't quite as indestructible as they like to boast. Nothing lives that the right weapon can't make not-live."

--

"Ponies... they think when someone gets used one or is destroyed, they never question if there is anything to keep someone from making a new one, or improving on the old one!"

"This beauty could turn a whole town of ponies to stone.

"Actually, it's a slew of smaller explosions on the outside, that triggers an implosion, that triggers the real explosion."

"... you created a statue nuke."

"Heh, nice nickname. Yes, that was the inspiration."

"Keep it secret? HA! We've sent copies of the blue prints to every Yeti tribe in existence! And to the Fishmen, the Storm Elementals, and the Moles just to be on the safe side!"

"You're not planning to do something stupid like invade Earth are you? Have you heard of something called mutually assured destruction?"

"Depends on which country you invade. You think the great empires of your world would unleash the final flame over the invasion of a country its citizens can't even point to on a map? But no, for Earth this is just to put us on equal footing with the creatures of Earth. For Equus, this is to deal with any creatures that want to fancy they're no longer part of the Storm Empire. Unlike your world. There are no laws against using such weapons, because they've never existed until now!"

"We are fishmen!"

"The Storm King promised you to the hippogriff's lands when they were conquered! Complain to his shattered remains over his failure if you wish!"

The mole Engineer in Chief pushed up on his glasses. "This opens whole new markets for the slave trade. With the potion, the creature traffickers of Earth will be able to ferry their merchandise to us with none able to track them down! It is a goldmine gentlemen!

"The Storm King was more than a leader, he was a symbol, his branding not only made us rich, it also united those under the Empire. We must crown a new Storm King if the treasure and our power is to keep flowing."

"And just WHO would that be? Everyone here would just vote for themselves!"

"What if we had a Storm QUEEN instead?"

"Tempest? Bah! She's a traitor. Which normally wouldn't be so bad, but she didn't even have the honor to betray the Storm King to take his place! Never trust ponies to stay true to a cause of strength, they're wusses who are too craven to lose their so called 'moral high ground'. She can hold the sun itself hostage and doesn't even try!"

"She does have some admirable traits. Celestia has made a policy of creating puppet rulers of toppled kingdoms, like Thorax. And the current Dragon Lord owes her position to one of Celestia's little pawns. I'd cower before her to curry her favor if I wasn't so disgusted with her."

+++++

The moles, fishmen, and other southern tribes, being farther away from Equestria, hadn't been high on the list of a potion being created for... and that suited the moles just fine, they didn't need a buncha outsider wearing their skin going around. The fishmen were interested only until they learned those changed were under no obligation to join their tribe. As for the parrots, with hippogriffs, griffins, dragon, and pegasi potions being a thing... they weren't a priority. Only one or two prototype batches had even been made.

---

"We're fishmen!"

"We're aware the desert used to be your ocean, you only bring it up every meeting."

"We-are-fishmen."

"No need to bring my mother into this."

"We are fishmen!"

"You can conquer the merponies on your own time."

---

----

"We are fiiishmeeen!"

"You know, I'd enjoy this opera more if I didn't know that was a fishman in a wig."

"We are fishmen," said the Fishman King.

"I know fishwomen are good for nothing but breeding the next spawn of egg clusters that cannibalize each other on hatching so only the strong survive. But this makes me uncomfortable."

"We are fishmen."

"When Discord calls you the most handsome of all species, you need to take it with a grain of salt." Fishman backhand int the flat nose.

"Ow! Sorry! You did have a female performer here once I recall."

-

"We are fishwomen!" The female blob of scales said defiantly in a high pitched voice before being punched in the face.

"We are fishmen," said the Fishman King.

-

Many diamond dogs had tried to open new operations in the southern lands only to find the moles viciously defended their contracts."

-

"Mole classes are never given enough material for their final projects, this ensures only the most efficient, greedy, and grasping are able to graduate with top honors."

-

Abyssinian claws a man in self defense after he tries to rape her
typical arguments ensue

-

human traffickers
blood red changeling with yellow splotches

Lammergeier/tiger griffin (wife)

son and daughter name species as parent

No restriction on changelings beyond having a love partner, a mistake?

Too much fear on dragons.

---

People who are desperate or are in need are lured with some 'under the counter' potions. End up up mares. And are pony trafficked into the storm empire.

prototype potion created only mares, were supposed to be all disposed of,
mare sells more than stallions
-
anti-unicorn magic gate
-

"You won't have that horn for long." (show horn collection in jacket)

former Human tracffiker, "So you see, the key is to make the slavery not look like slavery to outside observers, and to the product before it's too late."

(Flash back to before Tempest changed sides)

Slave pony, "Please! Save me!"

Tempest, "... No."

The slave pony saw the symbol on the other unicorn's barding.

"You're... one of them?!" Slave pony.

"I"m among the mighty."

Action Movie Movie Parody

The story starts with Princess Twilight Sparkle giving a condescending speech towards humans about how they're helping them ascend to a superior state that makes the Nuremberg Speech look subtle.

zombie eyes "new foals"

“My life's fight has not been in vain"

-forbidding mixes of pure pony blood and new foals
-and saying new foals are to be state subjects with no rights rather than state citizens
- up to 90% of their wealth as a tax to the Equestrian state

There is no sign of any non-ponies anywhere (not even zebras), in spite of this no longer making sense.

Then Twilight's head explodes.

The Lead swinging from helicopter with guns blazing

massacre with heroic trumpet music

Equestria is being invaded. Talks, planes, and explosions suddenly happen everywhere. Ponies panic as pathetic weaklings.

This invasion includes,

-A fast talking latino sniper.
-A big blond guy who seems only able to shout catch phrases.
-An amazon who swear like a sailor.
-A British medic with glasses who CARRIES A GUN, since he's performing "acts of mercy" of on the New Foal.
-A big bald black guy who manages to have even less depth than the others and seems to just be there.
-A super intelligent Japanese man who carries a samurai sword with him into battle along with his other weapons.

action movie cliche list (look)

What follows is nearly every big named pony in the show getting slaughtered like mooks in a FPS with the difficulty turned down to the level the game would mock you for playing at. With the humans engaging in friendly casual banter between each other, as they kill ponies left and right through Ponyville, and then Canterlot. (though some finer details of both places are off).

And the named ponies are killed off in ways that normally reserved for hate sinks, or mooks whose reason to exist in an action movie is to die to make the heroes look cool.

Shining Armor, acting like a big fat target, is killed by the sniper with the sniper's friends praising him as a hero (this is a direct shout out to Negotiation verse where this happened). Flurry Heart doesn't seem to exist.

Oh, and Lyra is a traitor to Equestria which is treated as a completely heroic thing.

Flash Sentry and Soarin' talk about a heroic last stand for the glory of the Mother Land, and are instead gun down without pause (this is again from the Negotiation verse where it happened to AJ and RD).

The hero and the amazon engage in a deep french kiss after she'd just insulted him and maybe threatening to kill him for his reckless moves (in spite of her actions being just as reckless) showing she really wanted him as he grabs her and kisses her. And they continue to causally kill ponies around them who come in trying to interrupt their deep embrace and french kiss, WHILE THEIR EYES ARE CLOSED as they make out, shooting Rainbow Dash in the head without ceremony as she zooms in, and shooting Applejack in the head as she charges dumbly.

Luna is killed by the hero riding a motor cycle riding through a stain glass window landing right on top of her. The hero shooting guards with duel pistols in the head as his bike explodes behind him.

Celestia, not acting like she'd just seen her sister die at all, demands to know how they got past HER Veil that SHE created to be impossible for humans to get through without dying. The response is "GOOD OLD FASHIONED AMERICAN FIREPOWER!"

Celestia blasts away at the hero, and is the worst shot in history as she blows away everything EXCEPT the hero, who slices her throat, shoots her up, smash her horn, and her crown dramatically fall off her, epically signaling the end of her reign. And Equestria now occupied by humans.

Rarity faints before seeing more of the movie

And THEN we discover the whole thing is a movie put together by the HLF, and the mane six, in human form thank to Twilight's magic, are in the audience, and gasp and are in shocked when the people around them are cheering for it.

- Sunset gives the girls pointers about humans

After the movie is over the audience praise the movie for its quality of production, its writing, the romantic subplot, the action, the explosions, the intensity of it all, etc.

The ponies in the movie were either New Foal actors, or practical special effects, or CGI.

Twilight wonders if they're under magical brainwashing like the sirens... Maybe Rainbow Dash ends up cheering through part of the mindless violence in spite of just seeing herself get slaughters on screen. Applejack looks ready to explode into a tirade. Pinkie is not smiling, and looks pale. Rarity might have fainted (or gone quasi-catatonic). Fluttershy's expression is disturbingly neutral.

This is meant to be a remark how people will praise a fictional work regardless of its content as long as the quality is high enough... or if the appeal is base enough. And a chance for the mane six to see the HLF after the veil has made landfall in the US of A.

The mane six in human form talk to the other audience members about how the SUBJECT MATTER was demonizing and INCREDIBLY misleading, and are ignored, brushed off, or brow beaten for being 'stuck-up' 'elitist' or 'unable to appreciate a good popcorn flick.'

A dude calls the lead carrying Celly's screaming head as a trophy 'Awesome.'

Applejack snapped, "Awesome for a psychopath ya' mean!"

Princess Twilight desperately tries to defuse the situation

And putting Discord's statue through a gravel grinder. They call that awesome

Fluttershy reactively call them a monster

Twilight is EVEN MORE trying to stop a fight!

Twilight fears a diplomatic disaster over piny 'spies' if they're arrested for starting a brawl

Twilight decides to rent out some disney movies that Sunset Shimmer recommended.
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