Lies, Darned lies, and Bronycon Bookstore publication · 5:14am Mar 6th, 2019
Ok, I’ve got a couple of questions for the Bronycon Bookstore setup, and the One Who Got Away/Drifting Down the Lazy River book I’m putting together for it.
First, should I use a real picture of myself or find something on the internet like a computer-generated face? Because I’ve got a face that was made for radio, and a voice destined for print media.
Second, I need a reader’s blurb or two for the back cover. (It seems to be a ‘thing’ in real books) Anybody want to volunteer one and give permission? Something like ‘Best book of the year!’ or ‘Fantastic read.’ will humbly do. Alondro had a nice one: “I have already bestowed a Holy Like upon this fic, for it has earned my divine approval. You may now read in awe.” (but I haven’t gotten his permission to use it)
Below the cut is a draft of what the back cover will look like. I must warn you, I get frivolous after the sun goes down.
The River Fen
A place where the most unlikely ponies discover who they really are inside
The One Who Got Away - When Gaberdine is awarded a noble title by Princess Celestia, he soon finds out that his new lands contain several surprises. For starters, there is no land in his new barony. Secondly, his new castle turns out to be a broken-down riverboat. And third is… seaponies.
Baron Gaberdine has a lot to learn about his new barony. And himself.
Fortunately, he has a very young teacher.
Drifting Down the Lazy River - A frustrated young orphan with a talent for painting attempts to run away from his rural village and escape to Baltimare on a raft, only to find out that the river Fen holds an unexpected answer to his problem: Seaponies
“Oh my god, that bio is fantastic.” — Level Dasher
“Second book blurb here” — Another Author
<- Really Georg, in 1990
Georg Felis (1972-present) was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands. Growing up in the Empire of Kansas, he was raised by ducks to conquer and rule over all of the planet, but decided on a career in computer technology instead. Rather than become rich and famous as all the advertisements promised, he instead lived his life to the present in modest middle-class anonymity, raising four children with his wife, who bears a striking resemblance to a certain royal alicorn of the bookish persuasion. On weekends that he is not fencing sharks or skydiving out of SR-71 jets, he likes to take a few minutes to type out a few quirky pony stories, two of which live inside this cover, just waiting for you to read them. And if after enjoying them, you should feel the urge to take over the world for the Duck Empire, just imagine the mess.
His other stories include such thoughtful literary classics as Twilight Sparkle Lays an Egg, Twilight Sparkle Makes a Coltfriend… Literally, and The Adultery of Princess Twilight Sparkle (It’s about tea, honest).
When not writing stories to embarrass our favorite lavender alicorn, he has been known to write stories such as The Lazy Dragon of Dragonvale, Monster in the Twilight, and There Goes the Neighborhood just to mention a few.
KittyKat Fictional Press
georgfelis@gmail.com
Design by Iisaw, Pen Mightier, and Manifest Harmony
Oh my god, that bio is fantastic.
I don't know if you were looking for something more comedic, but if you like that, you have my permission to use it.
5023711 Well, I tried to be modest. Sometimes, it's rather difficult.
5023711 How's it look now?
Real face. Play it up maybe, like Hugh Hefner. Or do like Peter David and pose with a long sword (or pony related item). Basically, have fun with it. Worse comes to worse, sub in your avatar.
5023715
I personally don't see a difference (maybe something's wrong with my cache), but I still think it's great. By the way, I edited my first comment. Take a look.
5023725 I found a computer generated image of the way Ben Needham would look as an adult, but not sure (it's in there at the moment) Elvis might work.
I should probably actually read those two particular stories if I'm to leave a potential blurb but...
"You know that soul crushing pit of despair that permeates every aspect of your existence? It's nothing like that."
There’s true excellence up in here.
So, I’m going to BronyCon! Like actually going!
But now all my souvenirs are going to end up being books by my fellow FimFiction writers, aren’t they? 
Two words: Pumpernickel cosplay.
5023740 Two words: Oh, God.
5023734 Cool. That's in the running for sure.
5023725 Ok, I put up my real face. Only very small, and from thirty years ago, back when most of the fandom was G1.
You're only as old as you feel.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/1/27/1945676.jpeg
I quite liked that bio and those story descriptors.
Do your real face. your WAR FACE!!!!
I VOLUNTEER MY READER quote for "The one who got away" AS TRIBUTE. Feel free to use it for your book. It's actually from a review I did of "The One Who Got Away" years ago...
"I love this story to bits as its so remarkably simple, but Georg lays it out so lovingly that you can't help but feel sucked into the world."
"Worth re-reading again"
5023807
The Late Sir Christopher Lee made a point of re-reading the entire canon of his cousin, Professor Tolkien, every few years.
The basic Silmarillion, Hobbit, and Lord of the Rings is easy enough. Maybe include the Adventures of Tom Bombadi poems and the standalone Children of Hurin and Beren and Luthien, (though I prefer the more concise versions from the Lay of Leithian and Narn i Chin Hurin).
The more in-depth History of Middle Earth is quite the undertaking. Even for dedicated scholars of IRL Old- and Middle-English.
Mayhaps in a generation or two, some wordsmith shall relate the tale of Grassy and the conquest of the Literata Magna in proper heroic couplets or tetrameter. (Is that Magna or Magnae for feminine singular noun?)
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/37858/the-six-deeds-of-harmony
Oi, I've got two reviews you can steal quotes from whenever you want.
Of One Who Got Away, I said (edited for quotability):
Try putting on a cowboy hat and suede denim style cowboy jacket with the white fleece on the inside. Between the shade and distracting accoutrements, no one will notice your face.
If you feel the need for a fake face, you can always refresh This Person Does Not Exist until you get one of those weird reptile-alien faces that almost but not quite looks human.
"I've re-read these stories so many times, I thought I saw Bill Murray"
5023857 5023849 It's official. I'm using you two. Thanks!
“This is a perfectly fantastic story ... the feel-good hit of the year.” — PresentPerfect
“A gem of a tale, and easily the best I’ve read by this author so far.” — PaulAsaran