Prophecy (1979) · 5:17am Feb 9th, 2019
So Love Dependence Day is just around the corner. For those of you who have are in relationships enjoy it for what it's worth. Personally I think you should express such things more than one day a year but, what do I know. For those out there who aren't with someone don't worry about it. There's no reason to be jealous. Have fun with it. I know I will.
I'm figuring that I will treat myself to some fine dollar menu fare and maybe a movie. Maybe I'll pick up some King Cobra and relive the good old days when it was just me, 40 oz. of King and a dream... to finish it as fast as I could while eating chili, and chatting with friends. Loudly.
Maybe I'll put those lights back up in my kitchen. After all it's been a month since they were taken out. It would be nice to see what I'm cooking from time to time. Cereal is getting a bit old.
I could write a story or two. Clean the house. Maybe I'll do the freddy and send an in appropriate message to someone then follow it up with, "Oops wrong number."
Whatever it is I do I'll enjoy it. That's the main thing. You should do it too you're worth it.
You know how a couple of reviews back I was talking about how you should avoid getting into Stephen King movies or books? Let's expand that and say avoid the entire state of Maine. Seriously, I don't know what's going on up there but if the small town life won't kill you the great outdoors will.
In the movie Prophecy we get a pregnant Cellist played by Talia Shire who is worried about letting her husband a public health/doctor type guy played by Robert Foxworth know. Foxworth's character doesn't feel he makes much of a difference. After a call to a ghetto he is asked to head to the place where nightmares dwell, and help settle a dispute between the local American Indian population and a logging company. He's told that here he can make a difference one way or another by writing a report for the EPA.
Once up there he runs into the locals, some interesting casting decisions and mutant creatures. At first it's no big deal. Extras get killed, a fish eats a duck, a raccoon spazzes out. You know, normal Maine stuff. However, when one of the slimy mutant creatures attacks them well ... that's a problem.
Prophecy is one of those movies where you look at the cast and director (John Frankenheimer) and you wonder why it was you hadn't seen this one before. Then you watch it and go, "Oh right. Gotcha." Now to be fair this isn't a terrible movie. Some of the creature effects are pretty good. The acting is fine and some of the camera shots are pretty cool. In a lot of ways this is sort of an updated version of those 1950s B-movies that everyone points at and chuckles.
On the downside it's pretty much a by the books big monster in the woods movie with, in a lot of ways, not enough of the big monster. A little too much time is spent moralizing over stuff when really what we're here for is to watch people get whacked by the creature. Also, the gore effects aren't that good often leading to some rather hilarious death scenes where the monster just launches characters like a pro wrestler doing one of his signature moves.
All that said I didn't ever feel bored with the movie. It's reasonably entertaining if not great. I think that it might be more fondly remembered if it hadn't come out around the same time as Alien. Then again most of the sequels to that movie don't live up to the original either.
The stats:
16 dead bodies
0 Breasts
1 dead duck
1 dead dog
1 dead raccoon
decapitation
paw swiping
neck biting
exploding sleeping bag
people and animals burn
gratuitous scientific mumbo jumbo
gratuitous mutant thing crying
explosion fu
gun fu
arrow fu
bear fu
Shout Outs:
Robert Foxworth as Rob the doctor with a cause, a beard and eventually a gun.
Talia Shire as Maggie who I'm not sure should have gone on the trip but she does and maybe should stick with the chicken instead of fish.
Armand Assante as John Hawks leader of the American Indians who are fighting the logging company and who gets in an axe vs. chainsaw fight.
Richard Dysart as Isely who runs the mill and maybe should ask more questions as to just how the wood is treated.
What no review of Piranha?
I lived in Maine for over 15 years... all the Stephen King books... are not fiction. Going to Maine is like signing your own death sentence. I’m only glad I got out before my neighbor’s resurrected child cut my Achilles’ tendon and killed me. Don’t get me started on the rabid St Bernard problem, or the whole “Running Man” reality show they do up there. Also, F clowns. F them in the rear with cacti, because F clowns. The steam press OSHA violations are totally out of control, as are the stupid invisible domes that randomly cover towns. Plus the self driving cars tend to turn murderous up there, right before the CDC up there releases some cray virus that wipes out the planet. Except for Gary Sines for some reason, and Bowler from Coach. The planes also take you back in time like 3 seconds so that you're stuck in a dead world waiting to be eaten by the damned langoliers. I guess the overlook hotel is nice, when the caretaker isn’t knocking doors down and killing the neighbors with a croquet mallet. On the plus side Salem’s lot is nice this time of year, if you’re fond of hanging upside down and drinking red stuff.
That’s all I can think of atm, lol.
5010315
Hmm I seem to recall the werewolves in church, the murderous bands of children, the incest cat people and the little girl who can start fires with her mind.
Welcome to Maine .... God help you. Lol.
5010298
I could but that would be like a Valentine or something. My Bloody Fish Valentine.
5010552
Maine, where the taxes are the only thing scarier than the monsters.
5010670
I think I could stay out of the northeast, Illinois and West coast and be good as far as taxes go. Oh I admit some other places might be weird about them but ... yeah.