Story Reviews: With a Spark · 9:00pm Jan 19th, 2019
You know, originally for my next fic review, I was going to go find something really bad and then rip it to shreds. But no, then I stumbled across a hidden gem. A story of love, loss, and what happens next. Interested? More after the break.
Spitfire’s face slowly changed to a grin. “Let me make it up to you. How would you like to hang out with the Wonderbolts tomorrow instead? Then we can get to know each other better.”
The pegasus blinked. “Yeah, sure, that sounds... cool.” She barely managed to maintain her composure.
“Great! Are you familiar with ‘The Night Divine’?”
“THE Night Divine!? No way!” Rainbow was stunned; the prestige of the club too much for her to handle as her excitement seeped into her voice.
Spitfire chuckled. “That’s just one of the perks of being a Wonderbolt. So, you in?”
“Definitely!” There was no attempt to hide her eagerness.
“Sweet! Drop by around 8, we’ll be inside.” And with that, just as suddenly as she arrived, she lifted off again, flying off in her original direction.
Rainbow Dash watched the Wonderbolt disappear into the distance. When she finally lost sight of Spitfire, she shot into the sky, filled to the brim with glee and the realization of what just happened to prepare for the outburst she knew was coming. When she could no longer contain it, it burst forth in an all too familiar way: “Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh...”
Rainbow Dash, in her excitement, rocketed all over Canterlot, performing various tricks, dives, and flips. She was aware of how ridiculous she looked performing such maneuvers in formal attire, but there were so few pegasi around it hardly mattered; she felt like her dream was finally within her grasp. If the Wonderbolts were asking her to go out clubbing with them, how long before she starts hanging out with them? Practicing with them? And then eventually joining them...
Better yet, Spitfire would be there too. One of the fastest members in the group, she had always been Rainbow Dash’s favorite. She marveled at the yellow pegasus’ confidence in leadership while maintaining a cool, collected attitude. She was a pony Rainbow Dash respected. A pony Rainbow Dash admired. The pegasus let out a quiet, inward squeal of excitement. I’m finally going to meet her!
And so Rainbow ends up at the nightclub, and ends up dancing with Spitfire as you’d expect right? I love it how the author goes through Rainbow’s flipflop of emotions all through the night, her nervousness, her anxiety and all that. He never lets you forget that Rainbow has a crush, possibly even more on Spitfire and is so frantic on not letting her down and making a fool of herself all leading up to this one moment.
Spitfire released slowly as she gave the cyan mare a look of unmistakable desire. This time they both moved forward, lips locking, their tongues dancing over each other’s mouths. They brought their hooves around each other as they continued, caressing each other, lost in the heat of the moment, the blaring music and beams of multi-chromatic light both hiding their passion from the patrons while going completely unnoticed by the two pegasi. Their mouths parted, took deep breaths, closed in once again. Spitfire’s movements were focused and strong, guiding Rainbow Dash as if a routine had been prepared for each of them, yet only one knew of it.
They stayed next to each other, in their own corner of the club, made private only by the other patron’s indifference. Rainbow Dash sat herself on a bench, giving her legs the break they needed. She laid her head against Spitfire’s neck, nuzzling her, comfort and joy the only emotions she could feel as the Wonderbolt sat next to her, her head resting right on top of the Rainbow Dash’s. She didn’t see any flashing lights or hear any music. All she felt was Spitfire against her, a comfort that was indefinable by words. Oh Luna, let this night never end...
So, Spitfire and Rainbow Dash go back to their room, kissing frantically and I suppose I don’t need to explain what happens next. They wake up, and Rainbow and Spitfire realize that there’s something between them and all’s well and good right? ...Uh, yeah, about that. This is where the real genius of the story sets in, completely throwing your expectations out the window.
“Spitfire checked out of this room two hours ago... so did all the other Wonderbolts from their rooms.” Rainbow Dash felt like something had fallen from her chest. Stray thoughts had developed about Spitfire while the lonely pegasus was sitting alone in the room, but they were buried deep in hope: a hope that those thoughts were unwieldy manifestations of her baseless fears; but the maid’s words brought those wild conclusions to the forefront of her mind, and she then knew that they were an inescapable truth. Spitfire had left her.
Oh, but it gets even better for our dear Dash. Oh yes. While the author could have touched upon nobody falling in love at first sight and just have the two bounce around their feelings for the next couple of days like a bundle of idiots, he went one better, and one far more heartbreakingly tragic.
She looped around in front of them, stopping them instantly. Even through their goggles and navy-blue flight suits, they were obviously confused. Rainbow Dash quickly scanned them for Spitfire’s mane, and found her near the middle of the group. “What’s going on, Spitfire!?” Rainbow Dash tried to speak in anger, but her words came out cracked, her tone obviously reflecting her injured heart.
The Wonderbolts all flew a bit outward from Spitfire, leaving her in the middle of them all. Some chuckled, others oohed, teasing the fiery-maned mare as she shooed them off with her hoof.
The cyan pegasus was trembling as Spitfire sighed. “What are you doing here, Rainbow Dash?”
“What am I doing here? Why didn’t you wake me up? Why did you leave me there?” Her tone, desperate, changed to pure sadness as she spoke. “I-I thought we had something... you said...”
Spitfire shook her head. “Don’t you get it, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash could hardly speak. “I... I...” her tears were slowly falling again.
“There’s nothing between us,” Spitfire remarked with utter indifference.
“But... last night...”
“Was just that. One night. Enjoy it for what it was.” She gazed right back into the sobbing pegasus’s eyes. All Rainbow Dash saw was apathy. “I don’t think we’ll ever be seeing each other anytime soon, Rainbow Dash. Goodbye.” With that last line, Spitfire floated off to re-gather the other Wonderbolts, leaving the teary-eyed pegasus alone in the sky.
She looked on as Spitfire summoned the other Wonderbolts from the various clouds they had perched on, who watched the fiasco whilst stifling laughs, and silencing them with a wave of her hoof before they started to form up their loose non-formation to fly off once again. She stared as they finally left, their black cloud trails hanging solemnly in the air behind them. She’s... she’s going... Rainbow Dash darted forward when she lost sight of the Wonderbolts, but stopped herself, unsure of what she would even do if she caught up with them. She’s gone. She’s really gone.
You know what? Believe it or not, this is the part of the story I really honest to god genuinely like. And before you go all screaming at me on how “Canon Spitfire isn't such a meanie and she would never do this to poor Dashie!” let me stop you there. Yes, Spitfire is a bitch in this story and there's no getting away from that but take a look at the date in which this story was published. This story was published long before canon Spitfire's personality was set in stone. So for all we all knew back then, Spitfire could have been like this really. And here's my point. Any author can write a romance one shot with a happy fluffy ending, but it takes a really great author to subvert your expectations, tug at your heartstrings and get you raging at characters and not just as a knee-jerk reaction like certain Anon-A-Miss stories do. You get my point yet? Life isn't always happy endings, and yes Rainbow got used, but the author was bold enough to not just go for the never meet your heroes Aesop but to pull this which takes brass balls and some ingenuity. So, hats off to him.
But this is not the end of the story, oh no. Of course, it’s not. Rainbow goes through all the motions, dealing with the aftermath of being a simple one night stand, just a toy to be thrown away by a celebrity who doesn’t care one jot about her. I think some of us have been there, maybe not with the celebrity bit but the fact that we’ve been used by people who we thought we loved us. I haven’t, and I hope to god me nor none of you ever get into this sorta situation, but I get the feeling the author, maybe just maybe has been here, and is pouring his or her emotions all out on the page as a form of therapeutic writing. Or maybe they’re just trying to tell a good story. Nothing wrong with it either way. And it all builds up to this beautifully elegant and heartbreaking/heartwarming moment with Applejack.
“What are you gonna do now?”
“Hmm?” Rainbow Dash got out through her friend’s tear-soaked mane.
“Ah asked you, what are you gonna do now?” Applejack said again.
Rainbow Dash pulled back finally, almost losing her balance, being so used to the support her friend had become in such a short time. She was still tearing but confusion was painted over her face. “I... What?”
“In Ponyville. With us. With the rest of your life, Rainbow. What are you going to do now?” Applejack enunciated every word, both for emphasis, and hoping to not have to repeat it all again.
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “What am I supposed to do now? Spitfire didn’t even care about me, and how could I join the Wonderbolts now? Every time I’d see the uniforms, them, and her... I’d think about-“
“Damnit, you aren’t the Rainbow Dash I know,” Applejack said. “Yeah, it’s mighty sad that she didn’t care about you, and she used you like that. I can’t say I’d know that feeling.” She sighed. “But the Rainbow Dash I know wouldn’t be giving up like this. She’d be angry, she’d be wanting to get back at her, get better at flyin’ than that son of a-“
Rainbow Dash quietly raised a hoof to stop her friend from ranting on. “I just... I just need time to think about this...”
“Rainbow, you’ve had a week and it’s hurtin’ your job, and makin’ us all worried sick about you. It’s time you faced this. You decide right now: either yer gonna be worried and obsessed with yer lyin’ celebrities and that pony that took advantage of you, for the rest of yer life,” she brought a hoof against her own chest. “Or you can come back to the world of the living, with your friends. The ones who care about you and miss you, and a town that needs you.”
Rainbow Dash looked on, stunned. “Applejack... is it really that simple? To just move on? How do I just... forget her? How can I forget about the Wonderbolts when all I can think of is how much she hurt me...?”
“It’s gonna hurt for a long time, Dash. But we can all help you deal with it. Face it. You don’t have to do things alone.” Applejack smiled despite her friend. “I learned that the hard way.”
You know what, any other author would probably have the two fall in love or something just to make this ending a little less bittersweet, but you know what, I’m glad Nines didn’t. It would have ruined the whole story completely. And you know what else I'm impressed by, I'm impressed that Nines was allowing Rainbow to show some vulnerability, to weep and to cry like anyone would in this situation. Nines isn't having Rainbow play the tough girl, put on a mask and say it never hurt and only have her thoughts show it.
This… this ending was much better than any half-cocked come out of nowhere Appledash romance.
Rainbow Dash nodded, only to herself. “I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and now... now I have no idea.” She shuddered, but her tears finally seemed to slow. She looked back to her friend. “If I can’t join the Wonderbolts... what am I supposed to be doing?”
“Ah don’t know Dash, but we’ll be here for ya every step of the way.”
Rainbow Dash scratched at her eyes, clearing away the last of her tears. “You… you promise?”
“Ah promise.”
See what I mean? In the final tally, there’s only one way to rate this story. The author went above and beyond, the full nine yards and told us a story of love and loss. 9/10. I’d rate this a full perfect ten, but there’s those little things like grammar errors, minor ones sure, that keep me from doing so. Nitpicky, I know, but I’m a bit of a Nazi for things like that as sometimes grammar problems like non-proper usage of commas can ruin certain things. Shout at me if you will, but that’s what I think.
Next time, Snarky Brick, back on schedule.
(Oh, if it gives you any pleasure, friend of the author's did draw an alternate ending to the story.)
Ok looking through all this at a minimal to keep myself spoil free, this look like a good read gonna bookmark this story for a later read.