The Cynical Brony reveals the horrors of Overwatch's Balancing. · 2:59pm Jan 9th, 2019
So last night, I had an interesting conversation with The Cynical Brony about Overwatch, a game I don't play anymore and don't have any interest in, due in part to lack of versatility in the characters resulting in characters tactics being easy to predict (which is probably the main reason I prefer TF2 from a gameplay perspective), and partly to a toxic fanbase that made any match quickly dissolve into a screaming match over the tiniest of errors. However, many people I talk to play a lot of it, including my friend the Cynical Brony (check him out, by the way. He's a really cool dude.), so I decided to dive in and see how his life there is going. What followed was an interesting dissection of just how bad Blizzard is at balancing, which I found interesting enough to place here. If you're curious, then enjoy, I guess.
CS: I think so? I'll get back to you on that. How's Hovercrotch going?
CS: That's totally the name of some piece of Overwatch R34, I swear
TCB: Haven't played it since the beginning of December
TCB: They ruined one of my mains and made the other an undefeatable eldritch demon of death.
CS: ?
CS: I don't know your mains, and as such I have no clue what you're talking about.
TCB: Brigitte got nerfed again
TCB: Reaper gets 50% of all his damage back as health
CS: 1: How do you nerf something that was already considered awful further? Doesn't that require you to know nothing about your community?
CS: 2: Jesus Christ. How much health does Reaper start with again?
CS: Because if it's anything more than 150, that sounds impossible, especially if that buff applies to his Ult.
TCB: 250 health, and yeah, it applies to his Ult as well.
CS: Okay... while that makes sense given what I've seen from the lore of OW... that's literally the dumbest fucking idea.
TCB: I know, right?
TCB: It was strong at 20%
TCB: It was a little OP at 30%
TCB: And now he is basically immortal
TCB: I main Reaper. I should find this exciting, but all it makes me feel is dread for his eventual canning
CS: 6 player Reaper now new meta. “That’s great! More of coolest character!” Says little Timmy
TCB: If only Blizzard knew how to balance
CS: From what I can tell, it's the equivalent of taking a pyro, and giving him a flamethrower that fully heals him with every kill. If he gets close to you, your entire team will get slaughtered nine times out of ten, unless they all focus him.
TCB: Basically, yeah. And now that Brig, one of his biggest counters, is useless...
CS: Explain?
TCB: She has a shield that blocks damage and can stun people
TCB: Used to be she could stun him, and with the right combo, set him down to 100 health in about 1 second
TCB: But her bash now does 1/10th of its old damage
TCB: So she can no lpnger fight him
CS: Wait, what? Are you seriously saying it only does fifteen damage now?
TCB: Worse
TCB: It does 5 damage
CS: five? FIVE?? That would be pathetic in TF2 where 200 is considered a high amount of health, but in f**king Overwatch, where enemies can have up to 1000 health?? I'm pretty sure you could do more damage then that by just calling them mean names! Hell, a freaking baseball in TF2 that also serves as simply a stun mechanic (or at least it used to) does more damage than that!
TCB: As I said, she's basically a meme now. RIP Briggeteh, she was the meta, now she is deada
CS: If you really do like Brig, then I suggest you call social services right now, because that is nothing short of abuse.
CS: Then again, when you have about 30 children at once, I guess it's only natural for some of them to get less love then others.
CS: But seriously, FIVE???
TCB: I wish I were bullshitting you
TCB: Literally the only healer I can still bear to play is Zenyatta
TCB: Everyone else has been horribly nerfed
CS: I don't like Overwatch, but I find these patch notes bizarrely fascinating. Maybe it's just because I'm going into game design myself, and I find them decent notes on what you should avoid, but this is actually hilarious, and I have trouble imagining what Blizzard must've been thinking when they implemented some of these.
TCB: They were thinking that they are tired of this game and want the community to be too
TCB: Literally the only thing keeping Overwatch installed on my Xbox is my pride for Comp Seasons of the past
CS: So I guess that idea that Ember spouted about you two becoming relatively high ranking comp players together is shot, eh?
TCB:
So I guess that idea that Ember spouted about you two becoming relatively high ranking comp players together is shot, eh?
I'll try to do it to help him, but it is rapidly becoming a less and less interesting prospect
CS: Totally understandable. I'm glad that as of right now, there aren't any particularly broken weapons in TF2. Sure, underpowered weapons are still a thing, but at least each class has enough viable options for me to just ignore the weapons I hate. Sorry to hear it ain't the same thing for you.
TCB: Maybe someday Blizzard will realize their mistakes
TCB: Otherwise, the greatest legacy Overwatch will have is on sites you hide from your search history
CS: 
TCB: I dunno. The new season has started I think. I might place as Reaper for the hell of it
TCB: Delet dis
CS: I dunno, that was just the first thing I got when I typed in Widowtracer, which is the only ship I'm aware of in OW.
CS: Plus, you know, you were going on about hiding from search history, so I decided to go with a middle ground.
TCB:
I dunno, that was just the first thing I got when I typed in Widowtracer, which is the only ship I'm aware of in OW.
The basis for Widowtracer is that they are both women that have big asses in skintight spandex
CS: Is that really it? I'll admit, I was a bit confused by that ship given that cinematic I saw where time lord fought against alien sniper woman, but I didn't think it was just because they both had similar tastes in asses and things that cover said asses.
TCB: It's also because of the rivalry set up by that short
TCB: The internet confuses wanting to shoot each other with genuine affection
CS: It's like if two yanderes had mutual feelings for each other, I guess. How strange.
TCB: I should point out the ship started on Tumblr
TCB: So that explains itself
CS: Of course it did
CS: I can't believe I'm doing this, but I want to see how deep this goes. When was the most recent patch of OW?
CS: I wanna see the notes.
TCB: https://comicbook.com/gaming/2019/01/08/overwatch-ptr-update-reaper-buffed-brigitte-dva/
TCB: https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/overwatch/t/overwatch-ptr-patch-notes-january-7-2019/281458
CS: Wow. 50 to 5. Fucking hell. Also, they didn't mention the whole 50% healthsteal thing. I wonder why.
TCB: Might be because that patch hasn't officially happened yet
TCB: They just announced that it will happen
TCB: oh, did I mention they also ruined tanks in this same patch by reducing all Armor health by 40%?
CS: Oh jeez... so basically, when combined with Reaper’s 50% health drain, it basically means that a Reaper with good aim will eat a tank whole 100% of the time in a 1v1, due to tanks lower average DPS making them unable to outdamage Reaper's lifesteal?
TCB: Yes
CS: So if I’ve got this right, the only way a Reaper with good aim can be stopped is by having one person stunning him and another finishing him off, meaning the rest of the team is fighting 4v5.
TCB: Or a sniper headshot, Reinhardt charge, or getting booped off a cliff
TCB: But yeah, a straight up fight is basically impossible now
TCB: Reaper v Reaper duels will be fucking retarded
CS:
Or a sniper headshot, Reinhardt charge, or getting booped off a cliff
So if you don’t have a good sniper (which is entirely possible given the small team size in OW), it’s down to two heroes, one who can only situationally win in very specific spots, and another who’ll have to choose between shielding his team or slaying the Reaper as the rest of his team has to either scatter or be turned into swiss cheese by the other enemies. Rip the meta.
TCB: Indeed
CS: Amusingly, the first option on Skype’s auto responses to this is ‘What’s your name?’. Lol.
TCB: Main. Reaper Main.
CS: Cancer. Actual Cancer.
TCB: I've been called that before Reaper was my main, funny enough
TCB: Ususlly back in my Tracer days (RIP Cynical's spelling)
CS: That’s perfectly understandable and an entirely reasonable response to give to a Tracer main.
TCB: RIP
CS: 😜 Hope this talk was at least mildly therapuetic
TCB: It was. Fun, too
About an hour later, after I came across something else OW related that I found interesting:
CS: https://twitter.com/radicalbytes/status/811313848112283648 Ending our Overwatch talk on an interesting note, we have this little (somewhat old) tweet from someone who I'm fairly certain suffers from schizophrenia, basically saying that it's good that there's now gay characters in Overwatch (referring to actual cancer, ie Tracer. As I said, a bit old), but it's bad because straight dudes find said gays attractive, and the gays should be made to instead make straight guys uncomfortable. Not only does that show a surprisingly blatant level of hatred towards straight guys, but it also has the extremely unfortunate implication that he thinks that the gay characters should be portrayed as ugly, if for no other reason than to own straight-y. One would think there's a lot more damage in portraying your first gay couple as ugly to look at (I'm sure lesbians would have a bone to pick with that), but ok, whatever you say.
CS: I just read that comic for the first time myself, btw, and I thought it was... okay. It was fine. It told a simple and cute Christmas story, and while I as always would've preferred it if it took a little more time fleshing some things out (That's just the kind of writer I am), I think what was here was perfectly serviceable without coming across as forced. Very nice art, nice enough story, probably not something I'll ever return to, but I don't regret giving it a read.
CS: I'd say it's a good 6 out of 10 or so.
CS: You know what I'm talking about?
TCB: Yeah
TCB: The Tracer Christmas comic
TCB: I actually remember that dude's tweets making news in the community a while back
CS: What were your thoughts on those (both the comic and the tweets)?
TCB: Tweet: Obvious stupid and dickish
TCB: Comic: a fun if kinda shallow Christmas special that realized that lesbians don't have to be a big deal, even if the community didn't.
CS: So basically, the same thoughts as me?
TCB: Yep
CS: Amazing how our thoughts are so similar in so many aspects, ain't it?
TCB: It really is
And just when I thought I was out, Blizzard announces a limited edition skin you can o,ly get by winning 10 matches. Fuck.
4993939
Like an abusive relationship, you keep getting drawn in even if you know it’d be better to opt out :p. Though I find it strange how all it takes is a simple skin that changes nothing and can be viewed online just as easily.
4993945
It's more of this urge to have a full collection, you know?
4993950
Ah, the Pokémon paradox. Tasteful. Considering I just played Emerald Randomizer, I get that.
wow....reaper sounds really, really unbalanced. I haven't played in so long because I have no mates to play with anymore,
I see way too much of people like that twit on twitter. I sometimes wonder if they ever stop to just listen to themselves.