An Abridged Guide to Writing · 2:08pm Jan 2nd, 2019
Hey, guys. How you doing?
I’m going to try something a little different in this blog, which is attempt instruction on a thing. That thing in question in this thing is writing a thing.
Thing.
Thing.
Anywho, let’s get this show on the road.
IDEAS
“You can’t instruct someone on how to get an idea,” you might say.
And you’re probably right. But if no one tried the impossible, we wouldn’t be flying around in metal tubes, talking to people on hand-held computers, or having premarital sex with low risk of pregnancy. So let’s get this show on the road.
To get an idea, think about something.
Now throw that out the window. Do that a few more times, and you should have a fun idea. Now keep doing this over the course of a few days. The most important part is to not write any of your ideas down.
After the days, see which ideas you remember. Don’t try to recall anything on the tip of your memory that you thought was a good idea. Because if you didn’t remember it, the idea wasn’t good enough.
Let’s pretend it’s been a few days. Okay, you have your idea. What do you do now?
WRITING
Okay, so, how do you write your idea? Well, if this is your first time writing, you’re going to suck at it. If this is your 100th time writing, you’re going to think you suck at it. Writing is kind of like the inverse of shooting heroin in that way where the first time you think this is awful and the 100th time you know this is awful.
That feeling is fine. Just do it. (The writing, not the heroin. To be clear.)
But yes, the most important part of writing is to write — you’re not going to get good at writing by trying to out-clever yourself with new ideas. That’s called a thought loop, and it’s a common indicator of a bad LSD trip.
Don’t turn your creative process into a bad LSD trip.
How does one avoid a thought loop, you ask? Normally I’d recommend antipsychotics, but a lot of those put you to sleep, and sleeping is not conducive to writing. Luckily, I have another tactic.
You’re going to have to accept that you can’t write perfection. But what you can write is the best you can. I usually shoot for moderately readable. Yeah, shoot for moderately readable.
WRITING 2
Okay, now that we’re shooting for moderately readable, we actually have to write. So, you know, put one letter in front of the other and crap out a story.
“But I thought this was going to tell me how to write well,” you say.
…I guess I could give you some pointers.
Well, the first thing is to write stuff. Even if you don’t publish it. Maybe write vignettes (or about Vignette (or vignettes about Vignette)). Like in Notepad, or Word, or GDocs, or even on paper. I used to write a lot in my binder in school. I may not have had paper to take notes for Zoology, but you bet your ass I had shitty detective stories.
Also read. You can read fanfiction if you want. I mean, I wouldn’t be writing fanfiction had I not read fanfiction. But also expand your palate. Go onto Amazon or Google or Apple’s book thing and look for interesting titles. Buy them (or ask your parents to buy them; if they’re anything like mine, they’ll do it in a heartbeat because reading is a good thing for teens to do) and read them. You could even go to the library. They have free books. School library, local library, doesn’t matter. Obtain books and read them. Fiction, nonfiction, doesn’t matter. Read, read, read.
This next tip only helps after you’ve published a story. Read over your story and see what parts you want to improve on in your next story. Do research on the Google or Bing or DuckDuckGo on what you can do to improve. You know, you could even do that before you start writing. I must have read like ten articles on second person storytelling before I wrote my second person fic. Which leads to my fourth point.
Do not be afraid to ask questions or access online resources if you feel stuck on something. I never would have gotten as far as I did without Googling the shit out of everything. Even if your question is stupid, someone will at the very least sacrifice the sanctity of their search history to help you out.
CONCLUSION
So this is an abridged guide on writing. I hope it helps as motivation at the very least. If I can motivate someone to write by highlighting that I don’t know much more than you do, I consider that a success.
I hope your future story threatens someone on the front page with a good time. Preferably at knifepoint.
P.S. If people like this generalized guide and there’s enough demand, I may do more focused guides in the future.
I think its hilarious that the notion if writing on paper is considered odd nowadays.
True words.
Ok I'll be honest I haven't been able focus lately so I get interupted every second I try to read this. I got up to idea so... A story ( slice of life) where starlight interacts with all the background characters (fucks up a mind spell and has mind communication with gummy... Only gummy and you like things dark so have her if you want in a coma in that one.) Add some classic starlight humor.
P.s. Have her first mind talk with gummy to be somewhat like everyone's reaction to that episode.
P.p.s. I'll try and focus later to read this.
What the hell exactly is wrong with you people?
How exactly are you comparing LSD to writing?
Thanks for the guide. I'll take it into account.
beanis
This was both hilarious and genuinely helpful, thank you for blessing us with your wisdom.
...
Now back to beans and sex jokes, I suppose.
4989952
Considering Majin, experience.
I enjoyed reading this and would definitely not mind if you did more focused guides
I get in a lot of trouble by doing this so I don't think this is a problem
Another thing. If you don't have any money (because who does?) and the library is too far away from your caffeine dispenser (it always is), then you can always use Project Gutenberg. Free (old) books. Did I mention free?
Reading fanfiction is that delicious candy your doctor warns you is definitely going to kill you one day. You need the bread and butter, and I can promise you there is a TON to learn by reading older books and looking at the different writing styles of authors who probably made more money than you making words.
4989938
Every success one has just hammers home the magnitude of how much everything else one writes in the future is going to suck.
Personally, I need to find someone who can kick me in the ass when I whine about how much writing sucks until I do it. If I shit out enough blobs of 1-5k words and then edit it, eventually I’ll have something resembling a story.
One important thing about writing (for me at least) is writing down those little idea fragments. My long-term memory sucks.
The second bit is the ability to get a fuzzy idea of what an idea will look like on paper/web, before or after you dive in by gluing parts together. Example in point, when I had this idea "Hey, what if Twilight is such a failure at dating that she creates her own date just to figure out what she's doing wrong?" That's a good 'Start' but it lacks 'Middle' and 'End' so I made the middle 'It goes really well' right up to 'until it goes horribly badly' and the end 'And he dies' which left Funny Premise, Dramatic Feel Good Rise of Emotions, Plunge Into Horrible... Darnit, the readers will be miffed because I gave them this heart-touching and funny beginning and end with blech. So I added an End-End that brought it back into Funny/Emotionally Lifting and I was good.
_/^^\../
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4990169
That’s why I honestly feel bad for ROBCakeran sometimes. His first fic was a grand slam, and there’s no way he could ever repeat that success on another one. And it wasn’t because of technical prowess or anything like that a person could learn from and hopefully replicate; it was just a case of the right story at exactly the right time.