Just Wrote This essay for a driving class, figured I'd share it to anyone who'll look at this. . .

The Real Reason why not to Drink and Drive

--A Cost-Benefit Analysis--

-- --

So here it is.  Yet another essay on drinking and driving.  And why do I need to do it? Because people still drink and drive, obviously.  And when people are asked why they did it, even though they knew the consequences, they say the iconic line of, “I never thought it could happen to me.”  
Now, what you may be wondering is why this is called in its subtitle a cost benefit analysis.  Afterall, in what statical report have you read wherein the writer was actually addressing you, the reader, directly?  Almost never; and the reason this essay does so is because it is an essay, and I like to joke, and thus the subtitle, “A Cost Benefit Analysis”

But enough with reasons for names and the writing style of the author.  On with the essay!

To start off the essay, let’s talk about that famous line.  “I never thought it could happen to me.” And that is after they have learned and have acknowledged the fact the fact that they have learned, the many safety and health issues with drinking and driving as well as the casualties per year.  CASUALTIES. THOSE ARE DEAD PEOPLE. D-E-A-D. Those are people who are gone and are never coming back.  AND PEOPLE STILL BLOW OFF THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL UPON THE DRIVING TASK.
Afterall, humans are cats, right?  We have nine lives, same as them, and thus losing one is not much of a big deal.  Except it is. Because the thing about cats having nine lives is not true. Also, even if that was true, humans are well known for their limited, SINGULAR (ONLY ONE OF THEM), Lifespans.  
But that does not matter to you or anyone really.  Afterall, the iconic phrase is, “It will never happen to me” is it not?  
So I have a solution, an alternative if you will.  A new phrase to replace the current one as the icon of drunk driving.  However, let us also make this phrase a positive one, one that will stick with you and incite positive change within the whole world over.  
So what is this new phrase you ask?  Am I expecting you to come up with one?  And then take all of the credit? Well, you’re in luck folks, for I have a phrase of my own, all I had to do was steal it from several different warring pockets of my mind.  
So the solution?  
What Solution?  
What do you mean, there never was one.  
You know, making jokes in a formal essay of all things is probably not the best idea.  So fine, I’ll give you my solution: “What will it cost me?”  This phrase is something I hope and pray might become something memorable in the minds of all people while being commonly and regularly thought of when one begins or even thinks of drinking and driving, whether they are serious or not.  This phrase, I hope and dream, which actually make not only the people on the roads, but also the roads themselves safter, removing that hazard which is currently ever present of drunk driving.
And guess what!  It even comes with a load of benefits!  Even more so than the last one! For starters, it has fewer syllables, and things are much easier to memorize when they have fewer syllables.  A number two? Number two. . . number two. . . can’t go with the anything crappy, that’d be too close to being cheesy. . .
Oh, here we go!  What will people be thinking of when they ask, “What will it cost me?”?  They will be asking themselves, “Well, let’s see. . . there’s my life.  . . that’s for starters. . . then there’s my car. . . OH WAIT. . .  MY ACTIONS ARE GOING TO IMPACT SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME????!!!! THOSE PEOPLE MATTER????!!!!  WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT????!!!! CERTAINLY NOT I. . . I. . . I am so thankful now for that wonderful student who came up with this fantastic solution!”  

So yah, in conclusion, by replacing the classic, “It won’t happen to me” with, “What will it cost me?”  People will start to actually think about others instead of themselves and thus will be less likely to drink and drive and thus be better Human beings overall.  
TL:DR; in conclusion, Don’t Drink and Drive, or this might happen to you:

(Remember: How much will it cost me?)