Graduation Day (1981) · 9:19am Oct 10th, 2018
I know what you're thinking, why would someone want a doughnut hole when they can have a whole doughnut. The answer is we don't know. Scientists are baffled and it's to the point where we've given up hope in an answer. It'll be one of those answers that comes to us when we die. It's sort of like the question: How can anyone actually trust the Tree of Harmony.
"But MisterNick," you say clutching your bag of doughnut holes that is really just an empty sack, "It's a good tree. It helps spread friendship and joy. It gave Twilight Sparkle a new house and a place for Ember to snack on!"
I understand and on the surface you might have something there. But if we dig a bit deeper we can see the truth. The Tree of Harmony is really just John "Jigsaw" Kramer in weird crystal plant form.
I mean no sooner does the tree gain sentience that it wants to put students to the test. It has a crushing test, several tests where if the student doesn't figure stuff out they'd die from starvation or dehydration. Another test that could have led to being poisoned, still another that would have led to a student being crushed and finally death by exhaustion.
Why are they put to this test? Friendship and to overcome their fears and ultimately fill in a missing piece and if they over come the trap help them have a better life. In other words... similar convoluted logic that Jigsaw uses. What's even worse is that the tree has access to the school. I wonder what the penalty is for not graduating "Friendship" school. I think I know but... I don't think I'd ever get to the title of the next movie I'm going to talk about.
Back in 1981 anything was possible. If you don't believe me check out the movie Graduation Day a movie released in theaters by Troma Films. The movie cost about a quarter of a million bucks to make and made almost twenty four million bucks at the box office. That's one hell of a return on investment. It almost makes me want to go back to the early 80s and make my own slasher film.
Anyway, after the death of a girl at a track meet some crazy person is bent on getting revenge against the seniors of Midvale High. Well, okay not all of the seniors, just those who go on that walking path and who were members of the track and field team. Otherwise you're in the clear and can deal with fondling truck drivers and drunken stepfathers.
There are some notable parts of this movie. The fact that at various points the killer is wearing fencing attire is a good choice. The cast is somewhat notable featuring actors like Christopher George, Michael Pataki and Linnea Quigley. It's also noted as one of Vanna White's early appearances.
The plot has a lot of loose ends. Admittedly I was left to wonder about why the students were doing anything athletic at this point what with them graduating in a week. I was also left to wonder about some of the music choices as well. However, I also get the feeling that the movie is a bit tongue in cheek too so there is that.
I think that there is a solid moral to this movie though. It's not that sex and drugs will get you killed. Not at all. In fact I would argue that this movie makes the point that if anyone tells you that you need to get into sports or exercise you tell them to go to hell. You're not going out like that.
The Stats:
9 Dead Bodies
4 Breasts
1 heart attack
Knife slashing
Sword to the neck
impaled with various spears/spikes
heads role
gun fu
drunken stepdad fu
rock n' roll fu
questionable athletics a week before graduation fu
Shout outs:
Christopher George as the demanding and angry coach George Michaels who is also apparently in charge of woodworking. Make up your own joke.
Linnea Quigley as Dolores who sleeps with the music teacher and then blackmails him. Apparently it worked because they tried something similar in Friday the 13th part 8.
Patch Mackenzie as Anne Ramstead who can run real far and fast in heels. Not to mention she then gets to fight a knife wielding nut.
Michael Pataki as Principal Guglione and E. J. Parker as Blondie who play off one another very well.
You also forgot death by crushing.
And, I don’t know why, but when I read “graduation day,” all I thought of was “garbage day!”
4951024
You are right sir and I fixed it! Ah "Garbage day," from Silent Night Deadly Night 2. It's one of those rampages that is hilarious. Oddly enough my favorite part of it is when he shoots the car and says, "Bingo!" Actually Garbage Day wouldn't be the worst idea for a slasher film. He took your trash. Now he'll take your life.
4951155
I am amazed and astounded at the comedic potential that seems to exist surrounding the act of being murdered while taking out the trash. Another example is at the beginning of Commando:
Another great movie review! It's funny, these usually aren't flicks I'd watch myself, but your reviews always entertain regardless.
4951169
Looks like someone needs to let off some steam.
4951623
It’s Bennet. It’s always Bennet.
The Tree of Harmony is Discord's equal and opposite, except nobody ever reformed it.
4951169
I do love Commando. If someone were to say what was the prototypical 80's action movie it's that one. I think what makes death by taking the garbage out work so well is that it's something we all do but then the unexpected happens. For what it's worth my favorite scene involving a garbage truck is this:
4952203
Commando is like... the source of all 80s movies...
And I think you’re forgetting another garbage truck scene which involves hilariously blatant murder:
4951623
Well I'm glad you like the reviews! I like doing them too so it's a win win for sure!
4951855
Sounds like it's time for an intervention!
4952217
Oops!